I like my coffee like I like my women: carefully decorated with hearts and flowers
I like my coffee like I like my women, easily picked up at Whole Foods.
ILMCLILMW - in convenient single-serving packages.
ILMCLILMW - poured down the drain after a quick gulp.
ILMCLILMW - after conquering Europe.
Since I don’t see myself in this thread having said this nine years ago:
Scalding my groin.
Hot and blonde
Milk chocolate hue Sweet as candy as ready for a bit of cream.
ILMCLILMW: Full of caffiene, loaded with Domino sugar, and willing to engage in fellatio.
ILMCLILMW: Ground-up & in my freezer.
(I remember that punch line from a comedian, oh, about 20 years ago.)
thick, and liable to make your bowels move before you finish
…and then paying you millions of dollars in court? 
Dark, well bred, warming, stimulating, taste as good as they smell, good for long lingering quiet, lively animated discussion, or just putting in a few drops of white stuff.
I like my women like I like my coffee grounds: hot, dripping wet, and trapped in a basket.
I like my coffee like I like my women: poured into my lap.
I like my coffee like I like my women: strong, black and bitter.
I like my coffee like I like my woman: sweet to wake up to in the morning.
I like my women like I like my coffee: warm, sweet, and creamy, with just a hint of spice.
ILMCLILMW: Rich, tall, tan, sweet, and only slightly acidic.
ILMCLILMW…oh, never mind - I posted to this thread nine and a half years ago.
Don’t have anything much wittier to say now, and that’s a low hurdle I’m failing to clear. 
I like my coffee like I like my men; icey and cold and willing to leave a good taste in my mouth.
I like my coffee like I like my women… forgotten and abandoned in the living room for three days.