With the exception of my close friends, I have told major lies to people. Not little white lies, tar black lies. I do it so much, I have no trouble in getting people to believe me. The biggest key to successfully pull off deception is to believe your own lies. Check. Whatever the motives I have for lying, I am reaping the benefits (like avoiding drama with certain people, yes there is actually a side of me that hates drama). But there is a downside, it gives you a weird feeling of oppression. Like being in constant hiding or constantly running away. A profound sense of loneliness, no one knowing the REAL you.
I’m really really sick of having to make up things.
I wish I can tell my parents that I’m gay. I wish I can tell them that I’m not working three jobs. I just need some space from them, telling them I’m always working is a good excuse.
I wish I can tell some of regulars at the bars and the casinos I hang out at the, yes, I do have a car and I drive, and I just feel uncomfortable giving certain people rides home.
I wish I could really tell certain people what I do for a living. I’m just too embarrassed to say so. Also, there’s something else I’m seriously pursuing, that I’m also keeping quiet about. I just don’t want to deal with people telling me that I might fail.
I’m really close to telling the people who can’t handle the truth coming from me, to just go and fuck themselves.
Lately I wonder if dealing with the consequences from the telling the truth will be easier than dealing with feelings I get when I hide from the the truth.
Yes, just owning your shit, whatever it’s colour, is indeed, easier and less oppressive, than living in a world of lies.
It’s such a shame that this is secret, hidden information. Oughtn’t the sages, over the centuries, to have addressed the issues surrounding authenticity and self? Garsh you’d think that there’d be books to fill a library, written on the topic!
I’m sure you headed down the path to ‘Supreme’ liar because it was amusing to deceive and take people in. Oh the laughs you’ve surely had!
Lying doesn’t happen by accident, Sunshine. If you don’t like it, stop doing it.
No shit, D2 is thirty something right? Your parents know, unless you’ve been really putting a big production into the lie like with actors and everything.
I deliver pizzas. Not TOO much of a bad thing in itself, but awful if you have a college degree and there’s people who are high school drop outs that make more money than me
“Mom? Dad? It’s hard to tell you this but I thought you should know. I deliver pizzas. Well, most of the time. Sometimes I stop off the road to pick flowers and sell to people. If I think no one’s around, just drop trou and get myself off or maybe just go to the bathroom. Sometimes both. That doesn’t always work as well as planned and sometimes they complain to my boss. It’s why I pack heat. As soon as I lay it down on the table next to him, he doesn’t say a word. It’s kinda weird, you know?”
“…”
“Just kidding you two. I’m gay! Whew, bet that’s a relief, huh?”
Gosh, and we were all led to believe you have a grad degree. I’m sure everyone here at the Dope is truly shocked (SHOCKED, I tell you!) that you’ve been misrepresenting yourself… :rolleyes: