Here’s a little tip that seems to amaze passerby’s, but should be common knowledge methinks:
If you want to go to a “.com” site with internet explorer just type the name of the site into the address bar and hit “control + enter.” It will add the “http://www” and the “.com” for you. You just may save yourself seconds a day! 30 years for now you’ll be thanking me for that grapefruit you had time to eat.
Please share your own info-nuggets of fools gold.
Spoons hold soup better than forks.
Get yourself a spork my friend, best of both worlds.
Always blame the fart on the unsuspecting guy…
and
If the movie theater lets you enter from the top floor, do so, you’ll always get your seat first.
For better microwaved pizza, put a piece of saran wrap over it.
Yum yum 
When making icecream with eggyokes as a primary ingredient make sure you have a candy thermometer handy.
Don’t eyeball it and say, “I think it’s cooked 15 min at 160 F”
Or if you do that, make sure you have LOTS of toilet paper on hand.
Never piss into the wind.
Never step on Superman’s cape.
A warm beer is easier to shotgun than a cold beer (albeit it tastes horrible…but hey, yer shotgunning it, not sipping it.)
–IDB
When reheating plain rice in the microwave, cover it with a damp paper towel.
In Windows 9x and higher, use the Windows key + M to quickly minimize all open windows.
Avail yourself to the finer things in life.
– Or onto an electric fence. My dog learned this the hard way.
Don’t put a vase of flowers on top of the TV. Turns out it’s likely to explode after awhile.
After drinking beer all night, do not think it’s a good idea to switch to peach Schnapps.
Truer words were never spoken.
Do not drink tequila that is gold in color.
Real tequila does NOT have a worm at the bottom.
When viewing contemporary art, it’s ALWAYS better after a few bong hits.
Speaking of weed, never do bong hits after slamming alcohol.
It’s a better recipe for barfing then they child stuff (ipicack-sp?).
Holy sh*t.
Worst. Night. Ever.
:eek: <- me for what seemed like an eternity. Made especially embarassing considering my level of “experience.”
As for tips…
Don’t eat those little red peppers in Chinese food.
Check trail conditions before heading out.
Bald guys should wear hats when outside.
A “Back the Badge” bumper sticker enables you to drive 15+ MPH over the speed limit with no repercussions.
A rattlesnake will attempt to bite you if you insist on poking it with a stick.
If you wear a Sierra Club t-shirt to a 4x4 rally it might get dirty.
The University of California, Santa Cruz is no longer clothing optional.
Dogs love trucks.
When you’re boiling skulls, add some garlic cloves. It does wonders for the smell.
[sub]don’t ask…[/sub]
Was it, by any chance, a penguin-shaped vase?
Or the “green mint” that comes with sushi 
As far as weed goes, back in the bygone days, I always loved the combination of weed and alcohol. The problem was I hardly ever able to pull it off without puking. I managed a few times, which got me hooked on the idea. If you are going to combine, here’s my suggestion:
Drink just enough to catch a slight buzz, and then the Bong hits. Then you can drink more.
Do not get sloppy drunk and expect to be able to “take it to lungs” like a champ.
Don’t hide the body in the garden.
Use plastic sheeting when inviting vict…errr… guests over to hide the blo…I mean ummm… coffee stains. :smack:
You misspelled “bloody.”
DD
Duct tape fixes almost anything, but isn’t that good of a replacement for stitches.
Gasoline-soaked steel wool doesn’t quite make napalm, but it’s a pretty bad idea.
If you’re drinking for the first time, stick to whatever you’re drinking, nothing else. First time drinker + weed + empty stomach = one very, very drunken, stoned, and sick-as-all-hell teenager.