I know. I’ve played it out in my head 1,000 times, and that exact scenario is going through my head, since I’ll be at a resort in a group of 15-20 colleagues. The entire week all I’m going to think about is someone coming in and saying “XXXX, could you step out? XXXX needs to talk to you.” The timing is just so bad.
And if that happens, I’ll always think “what if I had said something before it was found out?”
Whats stopping me is that she is off for 10 days. I’m hoping that will ease the spreading of any gossip. I am likely wrong, though.
Make sure you have a way back from your business trip. If they show up at the hotel, fire you, collect your ID & ask for the keys to your company car, you have to give them the keys.
Its their car (or they are the lease holders). GTA won’t make your day go better.
Also, cancelling flights that are booked/paid for through the company happens.
See-ya!
Well luckily my company doesn’t do business in that old school, half-assed way. (You can insert a joke about how obviously they do based on what I did).
No one is ever fired without an investigation which takes time and would involve talking to me. They wouldn’t take the guilty until proven innocent approach based on possible repercussions if the allegations were unfounded.
To be blunt, you’ve been wrong about pretty much everything in this thread and shown a pretty appalling lack of good decision making, so your track record isn’t very good about predicting what others will or won’t do.
HR: Hey, herewego, xxxx says you two were having an affair, is this true?
herewego: Yes, but…
HR: Let’s discuss your termination details, no severance, we’re going to challenge if you file for unemployment; however, you do get to keep the money you contributed to your 401(k).
Yeah, the investigation will take time - about 30 seconds worth.
While violating company policy is not a good thing to do, like Orwell’s pigs, some policies are more equal than others. You’ve also shown a lack of character & trust (not whether your gf can trust you, but whether the company can trust you), as well as opened them to potential legal liability. This is a very ‘equal’ policy you blew.
Let’s go back a couple weeks, to here.
Rather than denying, she’s voluntarily telling everyone at work. In fact, she sounds pretty proud of herself (“He never had a chance once I decided I wanted him.”) And you’re staring a written policy in the face.
By the way, your employer’s investigation won’t take very long.
“Did you have a sexual relationship with her?”
“Yes.”
“You’re fired.”
Seriously. I had a client who was fired for sexual misconduct. At 2:00 p.m. everything was business as usual. By 4:30 p.m. he’d been escorted out of the building, his stuff had been boxed up and removed from his office, his phone was disconnected and his email address had ceased to exist.
I honestly think the OP expects to sit down for a nice little fireside chat, and explain how aggressively he was pursued and how crazy she is, as if it means anything. He is banking on the respect and goodwill he’s earned over the years as a trusted employee, without realizing that the moment he said yes, he threw it all down the drain.
It will happen.
It will happen.
Then you’ll wish you’d spoken up. :smack:
It will happen.
Gossip about inappropriate sex at work travels fast - really fast. :eek:
Nope. I’m expecting to lose my job. I’ve accepted this. The dialog I use with my employer will be much different than the dialog I use here.
However, I’ve been around enough to see stranger things happen. I’ve seen people get a break for being honest. I’ve seen it go the other way as well. And as far as an investigation goes, the last investigation I was a part of was for theft of cash. The person in question had undeniable evidence against them, including them putting the cash in their pocket on video. It took a week. Won’t quite be 30 seconds.
From post #6, talk to your boss ASAP. Just tell him/her that started a relationship with a subordinate, and you need to have her reporting relationship changed. If you are the on being proactive with your boss about this, you might still be able to keep your job. Doubtful, but maybe.
So we have meandered back to the ‘tell your boss’ position? :smack:
OP needs to STFU to everybody he works with, and then lie like a rug if/when HR approaches him.
Well, that was stupid.
You’re worrying about the wrong things–your job, your partner, the husband. The real problem here is that your penis keeps flying out of your pants in spite of your best efforts to control it. A penis padlock is definitely in order. Throw away the key.
That’s closing the barn door far too late. If he had not managed to blab to everyone he works with, he MIGHT be able to lie his way through. And IF she has no evidence - like text messages. Then its he said she said and he might keep his job with rumors swirling and his reputation dinged. Probably not, since those sorts of rumors tend to cause employers to take advantage of at will employment laws, but maybe.
At this point they’ve left at trail of evidence behind them that the most incompetent investigator couldn’t miss. And unless he’s the center of his own drama no one else cares about (unlikely when illicit sex is involved) it sounds like his indiscretion is impacting the rest of the office.
I don’t have words to tell how stupid this situation you got yourself into is…
There’s one big difference, the guy stealing money isn’t going to sue them later on. The one you’re sleeping with might (“I wanted to terminate it, but I was in fear of losing my job.”) Any of your other subordinates might (“I didn’t get the same preferential treatment/raise because I wasn’t sleeping with him”). The quicker they get rid of this problem (Hint: look in the mirror) once they become aware of it, the better it will look to the jury.
Surprised this hasn’t been asked earlier:
[ul]
[li]How old is the OP?[/li][li]How long have you been in the workforce?[/li][li]How long have you been a supervisor/manager?[/li][li]Is this your first boss gig?[/li][/ul]
It is unclear what he has said to others. In the first post, he does not say he admitted it to the coworker, and in the post where he writes they hooked up again he doesn’t say what he has told the coworker that told him to stay away.
If he has not admitted screwing this nutjob on something like a text or email, then it is word vs word even if he did admit to these two coworkers. Did he admit screwing her on text? He just says he has texts where he says for her to stay away.
But, I’m with the poster upthread who thinks this is trolling. Looking back over this thread and writing this post are 10 minutes of my life I will never get back.
Wow herewego, this bed you made for yourself sucks bad; it sounds like you are having no fun. Just remember this really crappy time in your life is temporary and you will come out the other side in a few weeks or months, hopefully wiser for the experience.
You slept with her AGAIN despite everything you posted earlier?