In ref to:
[QUOTE=Mouse_Maven]
Dishes break. Stove leaves very strange scars on your back . . .
[/QUOTE]
True, but cold lineolum has a different sensation. Plus their are the looks while eating Easter dinner while your or their parents eat their meal where you um… “also ate yours”…
[QUOTE=Mouse_Maven]
:smack: Sorry, the link may not be work safe.
Greatest book ever. 
[/QUOTE]
Does it have pictures?.. We males are “visual learners”.. :eek:
[QUOTE=934spe]
True, but cold lineolum has a different sensation.
[/QUOTE]
So are cold noses. I can image one of our cats going: Sniff Sniff “Watcha doing?”
[QUOTE=Mouse_Maven]
So are cold noses. I can image one of our cats going: Sniff Sniff “Watcha doing?”
[/QUOTE]
Yah - ice cold dog nose in the cooter just isn’t sexy.
[QUOTE=934spe]
Does it have pictures?.. We males are “visual learners”.. :eek:
[/QUOTE]
Yep. Just drawings, no photographs.
[QUOTE=Mouse_Maven]
Yep. Just drawings, no photographs.
[/QUOTE]
Oh well..
“Everything I know about sex, I learned from porno”…
[QUOTE=tdn]
What’s wrong with being a slut in the kitchen?
[/QUOTE]
Hmm. Maybe that’s why I failed so miserably. I never could keep it straight.
[QUOTE=Anaamika]
Hmm. Maybe that’s why I failed so miserably. I never could keep it straight.
[/QUOTE]
Could be worse, you could have tried being a chef in the bedroom. 
[QUOTE=tdn]
A few years back, I started seeing a woman who was no virgin, but was VERY inexperienced. When we ended up in bed, she did things to pleasure me that were – well, not pleasurable. At all. And when I didn’t climax in the first 20 seconds of this “pleasure”, she went into a crying fit that lasted for an hour, complete with suicide threats. Man, that chick had some baggage.
[/QUOTE]
It is interesting. While I was always a fan of giving it and giving it well, I was never much of a fan of receiving oral until recently, when a lover showed me how’s it done properly, and more more or less blew my socks off. The reason I was unenthusiastic was my ex-wife (who had very little experience) was just absolutely godawful at it, and I thought I was a freak for not liking it. After I was shown how it’s done properly I thought “So that’s what everybody’s talking about”
I do wonder how much good oral ability is natural ability, and how much is learned technique? Re virgins I don’t thiink I’d be up to teaching someone how to do it. It’d just be too embarassing to be a penis driving instructor.
[QUOTE=934spe]
“Everything I know about sex, I learned from porno”…
[/QUOTE]
Me too. I aspire to some day getting a job as a pizza delivery guy. Because as we know, only hot 20-something girls order pizza, and they all love pizza delivery guys.
[QUOTE=Mouse_Maven]
Could be worse, you could have tried being a chef in the bedroom.
[/QUOTE]
Do foodstuffs in the bedroom count? 
[QUOTE=Mouse_Maven]
Could be worse, you could have tried being a chef in the bedroom.
[/QUOTE]
Steak knives do not belong in the bed. One might forget they are they and have a very interesting story to tell at the ER.
See, any expectation that sex had to be “part love” was exactly the problem for me. When I was in my early 20’s I wasn’t looking for any love, I just wanted sex, and I didn’t want to mislead anyone into thinking I wanted a serious relationship.
How can a relationship become serious before you’ve ever had sex?
Because a virgin might have unrealistic expectations and because it doesn’t feel comfortable when something which is casual and meaningless to one person is fraught with significance and emotion for the other.
By the was, the surest way to bring on performance anxiety is to sit down beforehand and have a big long talk about it. Alcohol works much better.
[QUOTE=tdn]
Me too. I aspire to some day getting a job as a pizza delivery guy. Because as we know, only hot 20-something girls order pizza, and they all love pizza delivery guys.
[/QUOTE]
I will take Pool Boy over Pizza Delivery Guy anyday. You get both hot young ladies in bikinis playing in the cold water and the older sexy rich women who just haven’t had it in a long time and are dying for it… Just be wary of jealous husbands…
[QUOTE=astro]
I do wonder how much good oral ability is natural ability, and how much is learned technique? Re virgins I don’t thiink I’d be up to teaching someone how to do it. It’d just be too embarassing to be a penis driving instructor.
[/QUOTE]
On oral: I’d think its a mix of natural ability and practice. I have a jaw defect that makes going down on a guy painful after a while. 
Somebody needs to be a penis driving instructor, or at least be willing to say “Yeah. That feels good.” or “No. Stop that.” Learning about sex is life long process. You don’t get all the info downloaded the first time you jack in.
[QUOTE=Diogenes the Cynic]
Alcohol works much better.
[/QUOTE]
Or ruffies… 
[QUOTE=Anaamika]
Do foodstuffs in the bedroom count?
[/QUOTE]
Years ago I was dating someone who was quite experienced, but always up for a new adventure. She wanted to try a little whiped cream. And some cherries.
Sounds hot, right?
She used a TON of whipped cream on my chest, then piled on what must have been a pound of cherries. Then she made a meal out of it. No sex, just a meal. She pigged out. I felt like nothing so much as a plate.
And then we showered, but it didn’t help. For three days we both smelled like sour milk.
Yeah, baby. :rolleyes:
I gotta give my fellow Dopers credit for lightening the tone here. The salon.com letter thread on this was depressing and dire, leavened only by an occasional twinkle of common sense and compassion.
[QUOTE=Mouse_Maven]
You don’t get all the info downloaded the first time you jack in.
[/QUOTE]
Stupid dial-up connection.. Fucking takes forever to get what you need..
it was a joke