A guy named Joe finds himself in dire trouble. His business has gone bust and he’s in serious financial trouble. He’s so desperate he decides to ask God for help. He begins to pray…
“God, please help me. I’ve lost my business and if I don’t get some money, I’m going to lose my house as well. Please let me win the lotto.”
Lotto night comes and somebody else wins it.
Joe again prays…
“God, please let me win the lotto! I’ve lost my business, my house and I’m going to lose my car as well.”
Lotto night comes and Joe still has no luck.
Once again, he prays…
“My God, why have you forsaken me?? I’ve lost my business, my house, and my car. My wife and children are starving. I don’t often ask you for help and I have always been a good servant to you. PLEASE just let me win the lotto this one time so I can get my life back in order.”
Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the heavens open and Joe is confronted by the voice of God Himself: “Joe, meet Me halfway on this. Buy a ticket.”
A husband and wife were quarreling. The woman became fed up and started packing her bags. The husband asked, “And where do you think you’re going?”
“I’m going to Hell,” she hissed back.
“Well, then, give my regards to your parents.”
Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, author of the Sherlock Holmes stories, was convinced that the dead could communicate with the living.
Once, shortly after the death of a fellow writer, he was asked if he had heard from the deceased. He admitted he had not.
“So, are you willing to admit that spiritualism is a fake?”
“Not at all,” replied Doyle, “we weren’t on speaking terms when he died.”
Attending a ball at Dublin Castle, Chief Justice John Doherty and another gentlemen were scandalized by the decolletage of a young lady.
“Did you ever see anything like it since you were born, Doherty?” asked his friend.
“I can’t say since I was born,” replied Doherty, “but certainly since I was weaned.”
