I knew a girl who was only attracted to classic automobiles.
She was a chromosexual.
Apologize at once!
Wake up. You’re obviously dreaming.
Patient: “Doctor - how can I get rid of water on the knee?”
Doctor: “Wear hose, and pumps.”
Patient: “Doctor - how can I avoid falling hair?”
Doctor: “Step out of the way.”
“Dad, why did you and mom name my sister Teresa?”
“Because your mother really loves Easter, so we made her name an anagram of something she loves. Why do you ask, Alan?”
What’s the best cure for water on the knee?
A tap on the shin.
(Might not work in USA, Tap(UK) = Faucet (USA))
Wear drainpipe trousers: ditto
Little Doris went to visit the new baby at the Johnson’s house.
Mrs. Johnson answered the door and Doris said, “Hi, Mrs. Johnson, is baby Bobby there? Could I talk to him?”
Mrs. Johnson smiled and said, “I’m sorry but Bobby is only a little baby. He can’t talk yet.”
Doris said, “That’s OK. I’ll wait.”
What did the paint give the wall on their first anniversary?
A new coat.
How can you get four suits for a dollar?
Buy a deck of cards.
Who is Superman’s most religious enemy?
Lex Lutheran.
What did the milkmaid say to the anxious butter?
You’ll have to wait your churn.
It mostly works. In the US, absent any context, a “tap” would be the spout on a beer keg, or maybe a maple tree, but it can also be a faucet, and in any event it’s something you use to start or stop the flow of a liquid.
Growing up, ‘tap’ was commonly used as ‘faucet’. I’m a Southern California native.
Well, water from any faucet in a house is generally called ‘tap water’, not ‘faucet water’.
Yeah, I got it, too. My mind immediately went to “water tap”.
On thinking about it some more, I think that, in English, the “tap” is specifically the spout that the water (or other liquid) comes out, while the “faucet” is the whole assembly, including the handle or handles on the valves to turn the water on and off and control the temperature. In any event, it’s certainly close enough for the joke to work.
Well, undoubtedly this thread’s been tapped out.
It’s certainly been watered down.
Circling the drain, I’d say.
Okay, I’m dense. But I really tried. What’s the anagram of Alan that makes this funny?
I think it mean “Anal”
Headsmack. How’d I miss that?
I married Mrs. Right. Didn’t realize she is Mrs. Always Right