Not only is smoking bad for you,
but it’s one of the leading causes of statistics.
Artificial Intelligence
is no match for Natural Stupidity.
A vasectomy
is never having to say you’re sorry.
A theater usher notices a man stretched across three seats.
He walks over and whispers, “Sorry, sir, but you’re allowed only one seat.” The man moans but doesn’t budge.
“Sir, if you don’t move, I’ll have to call the manager,” says the usher. Again the man moans but stays put.
The usher returns with the manager who also asks him to move without success. Finally
they call a cop.
“All right, buddy,” says the cop. “What’s your name?”
“Joe,” mumbles the man. “Where you from, Joe?” asks the cop.
The man whispers, “The balcony.”
Harry and Tom are walking down the road.
Harry turns to Tom and says, “If you had two Rolls-Royce convertibles would you give one to me?”
Tom replies, “We’ve been friend for years, of course I’d give you one.”
Harry then says, “And if you had two speedboats, would you give me one of them as well?”
Tom replies, “After all we’ve been through together I surely would give you a speedboat.”
Harry says, “So what if you had two chickens. Could I have one of those?”
“No,” says Tom. “I’d keep both of them.”
Harry says, “Why? You’d give me a car and a boat but you wouldn’t give me a chicken? What’s the difference?”
Tom replies, “The difference is, you know darn well that I’ve got two chickens."
