There’s always been some debate on the pronunciation of the name of the prominent computer scientist Niklaus Wirth. He himself is accepting of multiple pronunciations, however. As he put it, “You can reference me by name, ‘Weert’, or by value, ‘Worth’.”.
Actually the joke includes his first name. Europeans usually call him by name (ni-klows virt), while Americans often call him by value (nickels worth). I’m surprised he didn’t work a call-by-reference reference in there.
What does a ghost use on a hot Summer day to not get sunburn
Sunscream
There were 4 henchmen: Winter, Summer, Spring, and Autumn.
The boss stood before them.
“Winter,” he began. “I need you to stay cool in the face of pressure. Ice in your veins,” he said, patting his shoulder.
“Then there’s you, Summer,” he continued. "If the heat becomes too much for Winter, use that hot temper of yours to make sure the cops remember who they’re working for.
“As for you, Spring,” he chuckled, “this operation is gonna bring in a lotta green. Make sure that it keeps growing.”
He turned for the door as Autumn stood up.
“Boss!” he sputtered. “What about me?”
The boss turned back, shaking his head.
“Sorry, son. You’re just the Fall guy.”
Why can’t astronauts eat Popsicles?
In space, no one can hear the ice cream truck.
What do you call a popsicle you can’t eat, and never melts?
How do you tactfully tell someone their baby is ugly?
“Awww, he looks just like you.”
I called “Shotgun” long before anybody else, but I still had to sit in the backseat.
I hate cops.
I was just fired from the keyboard factory.
They said I wasn’t putting enough shifts in.
On the chicken farm
A farmer who produced free range eggs gave a visitor a tour.
“And in this corner, the hens take some of the grain that we give them and put it in that old water dish, where it ferments and becomes a kind of primitive beer.”
The visitor replied “Wow! Chicken brewers! I wonder if it’s more like a lager or a pilsner.”
A hen looked the visitor in the eye and said “bock!”
