I heard that one as “None of the offspring survived”.
What do you get when you cross a mountain climber with a tsetse fly?
Nothing; you can’t cross a scalar and a vector
How do you make a polar bear?
Take a rectangular bear and transform the coordinates.
[Just a note or two 
- Monday is National Cheeseburger Day; most of the major chains are selling burgers for under a buck; Tuesday is Talk Like A Pirate Day.]
A man, shocked by how his buddy is dressed, asks him, “How long have you been wearing that bra?”
The friend replies, “Ever since my wife found it in the glove compartment.”
What makes Jackie Chan ill ever winter?
Kung flu.
How did Minnie save Mickey Mouse from drowning?
She gave him mouse-to-mouse resuscitation.
Would Little Miss Muffet share her curds?
No whey.
The doctor says, “I have good news and I have bad news.”
The patient asks, “Well, what’s the bad news?”
The doctor replies, “You have only a month to live.”
The patient asks, “Oh, no, but, what’s the good news?”
The doctor smiles and answers, “I won the lottery!”
I once dated a woman who had the same name as my grandma.
It got awkward because every time she and I fooled around, I would think of my girlfriend.
I heard this one in the 70s, if that helps date it.
It’s National Cheeseburger Day!
Give a man a cheeseburger, he eats for one day.
Teach a man to cheeseburger; I’m high as hell.
How many vegans does it take to eat a bacon cheeseburger?
One, if no one’s looking.
A frog goes into a fast food restaurant and orders a cheeseburger.
The cashier says, “Yes, sir, and would you like flies with that?”
I was recently fired from Burger King for helping myself to too many cheeseburgers.
I guess I misunderstood when they said there was potential for growth.
What do you call a cheeseburger on the move?
A slider.
I laughed at this far more than it warranted.
I washed the car with my son yesterday.
He said “Dad, next time can we just use a sponge?”
(ETA: I was originally going to reply to a joke by Prof.P and changed my mind; in case there’s any confusion as to why I’m doing that. Doesn’t look like I can edit out the reply part)
I don’t get it and google is no help.
The joke is that although there’s a classic setup, the punchline makes no sense (because the jokester is high). It’s along the same lines as the “How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? Fish!” joke. I love this type of humor, but it’s not everyone’s cup of tea.
Ah. Thanks for explanation. I did get, and did laugh at, the surrealists joke; but didn’t recognize this as being the same type, probably because I assumed there was some meaning of “to cheeseburger” that I didn’t know. It read like one of those things that has a slang meaning.
I don’t know how much you partake of marijuana, but when you’re together with friends passing around the pipe, you lose track of topics and non-sequiturs are common.
It’s also a bit of a play on language, because in the original saying it’s based on, ‘fish’ can be used as a noun or a verb-- “give a fish / teach to fish”, but cheeseburger can’t be used as a verb, unless you’re high or something.
Brisket of hand! (It was hilarious 40 years ago.)
See, that’s what I didn’t know – whether there’s some slang sense of “cheeseburger” which does use it as a verb.
Which is something that might have been invented while stoned –
‘Cheeseburger me, bro!’
[Hands guy a cheeseburger.]
I humbly stand corrected.
(I just made it up.)
Well, I have to I (brisket of) hand it to you-- you created a brand new verb!