solost
March 2, 2024, 12:52am
4472
Reminds me of the time a young man decided to join a remote monastery deep in the foothills of Nepal (dusts off old joke).
The head monk tells him “we have a very strict 30 year vow of silence. You can only speak 2 words every ten years.”
After the first ten years the head monk asks him if he wants to use his two words. The disciple says:
“food bad”.
Ten years later the head monk asks again if he would like to say anything. the disciple replies:
“bed uncomfortable”.
After ten more years the head monk asks “what’s on your mind now?”
“I quit!”
“I’m not surprised” the head monk says. “You’ve done nothing but complain since you got here.”
Or, as WS Gilbert put it back in the late 1800s, describing a situation in which Ida and Hilarion were betrothed as very young children:
“Ida was a twelve-month-old
And Steven Wright’s take:
“When I turned two I was really anxious, because I’d doubled my age in a year. I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I’m six I’ll be ninety.”
phs3
March 2, 2024, 4:26am
4475
Prof.Pepperwinkle:
A fisherman returns from his trip and tells his friend:
“I caught a fish so big that when I reeled it in, the boat sank!”
Do not get. Mind you, it’s been a long week…
“Sounds like a whopper” can mean either “sounds like a big fish” or “sounds like a big lie.”
Hmm. I got that part, but I don’t understand why the fish was waiting back at the shore.
mmm
Because it was such a big fish, it had enough mojo to be there for the guy?
phs3
March 2, 2024, 3:13pm
4479
Exactly. Thanks; I was starting to think I was the only one!
“At two”.
Moments later, he learned his auto warranty had expired.
It’s when they are the most springy.
That’s because there are no rights.
They are calling it “April of the Penguins!”
Remember Akira Kurosawa’s film Ran ?
They’re making a sequel: Also Ran .
In Mexico, it’s amazing how many people have an uncle named Tio.
This might not qualify as a joke, but…
Moderating: let’s keep political jabs out of the joke thread, please.
I’m getting a ton of Facebook likes for this one — thanks.
…if she’s holding a calculator.
l0l.
It’s going around.
I’d hate to spend all that money and have nothing to chauffeur it.
Go for the juggler.
I tried to rid the internet of Star Trek jokes,
but found out it was a huge Enterprise
I asked my wife how many guys she’d been intimate with and she replied:
Today’s gospel reading at church answered the age-old question of WWJD–that is, What Would Jesus Drive:
We know he had a Plymouth, because he drove the moneychangers out of the temple in a Fury.
(He also had a Honda, but he didn’t like to discuss it. His dad had one too. “For I speak not of my own Accord, but of my father’s”)
I heard he burned up the desert in his Triumph?
