One of their most famous songs is “I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For”. Not completely sure that’s the relevant reference in this case, but it could be.
George Macdonald Fraser told a Scottish version of that joke: a Glasgow police officer catches a purse-snatcher at the corner of Sauchiehall and Dalhousie Streets, and, after giving him a good beating, drags him bleeding over to Rose Street to make the arrest. The thief complains, “Oi. Why’d you drag me over here?”
“Because I can spell ‘Rose’, ye thievin’ cunt.”
A friar is like a monk, except that he is not confined to a monastery.
The world is his cloister.
An art restorer was at work in the Louvre, and realized that some Caravaggios and Rembrandts needed to be re-framed, but the works by Raphael, Michaelangelo, and Leyster were just fine.
They told their manager to contact the framing department. “Which pieces?” asked the manager. “Just tell 'em, if it ain’t Baroque…”
NASA is planning on launching a bunch of cows into space.
It’ll be the herd shot 'round the world.
I used to be in a band called the Radiators.
We were the warm-up act.
I was making homemade Moroccan dinner rolls, and found out my thyme was expired.
But you know what? I really like old-thyme Moroccan rolls.
I love jokes, so keep them coming! Problem is, I don’t remember jokes except for my two moron jokes. If anyone wants to hear them again for the twentieth time, let me know. LOL
I say, I say, what is the difference between the Chinese Cultural Revolution and a hamburger?
One is a feat of Mao and the other is the meat of cow.
I like my coffee like I like my towels.
Turkish.
Stanley died in a fire and his body was burned pretty bad
The morgue needed someone to identify the body, so they sent for his two best friends, Cooter and Gomer. The three men had always done everything together. Cooter arrived first, and when the mortician pulled back the sheet, Cooter said, “Yup, his face is burned up pretty bad, you better roll him over.”
The mortician rolled him over and Cooter said, “Nope, ain’t Stanley.”
The mortician thought this was rather strange. So he brought Gomer in to confirm the identity of the body.
Gomer looked at the body and said, “Yup, he’s pretty well burnt up, roll him over.”
The mortician rolled him over and Gomer said, “No, it ain’t Stanley.”
The mortician asked, “How can you tell?”
Gomer said, "Well, Stanley had two assholes.
“What? He had two assholes?” asked the mortician.
"Yup, we never seen 'em, but everybody used to say, “There’s Stanley with them two assholes.”
