but it could buy me a boat
it could buy me a truck to pull it
it could buy me a Yeti 110 iced down with some Silver Bullets
-Chris Jansen, courtesy of my Spotify AI - DJ, for some reason…
Money can’t buy happiness. But it can buy a helicopter, and that’s the same thing.
Balderdash - a rapidly receding hairline
I once met a guy who used to taste test nickels, dimes, and quarters…
But he didn’t make a lick of cents.
What are fishes greatest fear?
School shooters.
My wife is paranoid.
She says she can’t have an orgasm unless the door is locked. I say, “Come on, let me in!”
What did the shirt say to the pants as they were walking away?
Peace out, britches!
How many clickbait articles does it take to screw in a light bulb?
#8 will shock you.
Enjoyed by me.
mmm
Circumvent - the opening in the front of boxer shorts
Prevent - fart before you eat the beans.
I re-watched Will Smith in “Independence Day” last night.
Still slaps.
Why aren’t there any Independence Day knock knock jokes?
'Cause freedom rings.
You can take my fireworks from my cold dead fingers.
One is over there, another is way over there.
Last 4th of July I remember watching the fireworks on the TV.
In hindsight, that probably wasn’t the best place to light them.
I hate those people that bang on your door saying you need to be “saved” or else you’ll “burn”.
Stupid firemen.
…I don’t get it.
Will Smith slapped Chris Rock at the Oscar in 2023 for making a joke about Will’s wife.
OK, now I’ve gone from the joke having zero meanings (and hence making no sense at all) to it having one meaning (and hence making some sense, but not being a joke). What’s the other meaning of “still slaps” that makes it funny?
May the fourth be with you! - old wrinkly guys.
That’s how the kids today say something is great – it “slaps”.
Also “bad” means “good” and to “shake your booty” means to “wiggle one’s butt”.
Flatulence - the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller
In the '80s a radio station had a mock soap opera. One of the characters was called Sheik Yerbouti. [Spelling corrected per @silenus .]
Sniglet!
Sheik Yerbouti was an album by Frank Zappa.
Spelling corrected.
Also, in reference to the film “Independence Day”, Will Smith’s character slaps an alien.
Thank you, I needed that!!