For anyone else who’s not a chemist…
I looked up salt/sulphuric acid and found this answer on Quora (grammar as in the original):
Two reactions can be happened
- if you mix less NaCl and H2SO4 then you will get sodium bisulphate.reaction:-. NaCl+H2SO4=NaHSO4+HCl
- If you mix H2SO4 with more NaCl you will get sodium sulphate.reaction:-2NaCl+H2SO4=Na2SO4+2HCl
After seeing this, I was finally able to laugh! 
It went OK!
Because it’s in the ground state!
Na.
I got my ion you!
…but all the good ones argon.
16 sodium molecules sit in a row. Batman!
Did you hear about the all-girl spelling bee?
Many words were Miss-spelled.
Because it has lost its pops.
Joaquin in a winter wonderland.
I said; “I wish I could be you.”
The genue saud; “Weurd wush, but okay, U wull grant ut.”
Because they multiply by dividing.
Quite honestly, the novelty is wearing a little fin.
And have you outstanding success with the ladies?
cause girls gone crazy for a shark dressed man…
Having a dog named “Shark” at the beach was a mistake.
Do U.K. websites use biscuits instead of cookies?
Just sold my homing pigeon on eBay for the 22nd time.
I slept like a baby last night — woke up every half hour, screaming.
“Young lady,” says the doctor, “you’re pregnant.”
“But that can’t be. The only men I’ve been with are nudists, and in our colony we practice sex only with our eyes.”
“Well, my dear,” said the doctor, “someone in that colony is cockeyed.”
“I have a red ring around my pecker. What are you here for?”
“I have a green ring around my pecker.”
The doctor calls the first man in and examines him. As the man is leaving, he tells him not to worry, it wasn’t a serious problem.
The doctor then examines the second man. Looking alarmed, he says, “I’m sorry to say this but your penis will soon fall off and then you’ll die.”
“What? You told the man with the red ring he was perfectly okay, but I’m gonna die?”
“Yes, but there’s a big difference between lipstick and gangrene!”
In his foot. If he steps on you, you’re fucked.
Evaporated milk.
Hildegarde: Oh, no! What did you do?
Edna: What could I do? I tossed and turned all night.
Why did the capacitor kiss the diode? He just couldn’t resistor.
… or her transistor.
Excellent.
McGonagall but not McForgottenagall,
X was always 10.
He said I’ve got da Mensa!
Marcus Oh-really-us.
The sinking of the Titanic was a miracle to the lobsters in the ship’s kitchen.
Too soon, dude.
Turns out it was just a cagey bee.
Don’t worry about him—-he’s just a product of our times.
Well, technically he just said “Sir, your trousers keep falling down and it’s scaring the children.”
Bela Glucosi.
They change in the basement.
Cremation is my last hope for a smoking hot body.
Astronauts use Linux because you can’t open Windows in space.
The first five days after the weekend are the hardest.
There’s no way that everybody was King Fu fighting.
But everyone did Wang Chung tonight!
(You know it. >Doffs hat<)
Becoming a vegetarian is a big missed steak.
I child-proofed my house but the kids still get in.
Geology rocks, but geography is where it’s at.
My wife said I never listen to her, or something like that.
Once every six years all Canadians go outside under the light of the full moon and perform a ritual. At the end of the ritual, all the anger and resentment in the Canadians is lifted from their bodies…
…and put into the Canada Goose.
Arrr-vay Maria.
Because there’s no rest for the wicked.
…it takes him three tries just to cast a shadow.
Nuclear winter.