More Jokes

Yes. “Years” is plural.

Well, as I said–

‘My four years of college was a total waste of time’ is correct. Yes, ‘years’ is plural, but ‘four years of college’ is a unit of something. Or how about ‘that dozen donuts I ate was a mistake’. Also correct.

Hey, if it was (were?) my grammar you were correcting, I wouldn’t give it a second thought. But you’re dissin’ Prof.P!

I shouldn’t get into this, but… As far as I am concerned, “three years of Spanish” is the subject of the sentence and is a singular noun phrase. Use a plural verb only if each of the three years were separately a waste of time.

If it helps, my three years of high school were, separately, a waste of time.

mmm

Actually, he’s dissing Isaac Asimov, since I copied that verbatim from his joke book.

The Far Side caption: As the plane left the ground, Dr. Frankenstein realized he left his brain in San Francisco.

A Stephen Wright joke. It’s something like:
I went to San Francisco. I found somebody’s heart.

I’m going to open a restaurant that fuses Chinese and Middle Eastern cuisine.

I’ll call it Wok like an Egyptian.

mmm

If somebody merged a Cold Stone Creamery and a Dairy Queen would they call it Cold Fusion? Should they?

These reports of a major snowstorm hitting the Northeast don’t concern me.

It’s all just flake news.


The D&D party is traveling on a mountain in a blizzard, and every member rolls to see if they fall from the cliff. A dwarf warrior doesn’t pass the check due to his armor, and falls.

DM: You fall from the cliff but have some time to do something. What do you do?

Dwarf: I flap my arms really hard.

DM: Really?

Dwarf: Not like I have any other options.

DM: Ok, roll the dice.

Dwarf rolls a 20.

DM: … roll again.

Dwarf rolls a 20 again.

DM is abash.

DM: sigh. With an astonished look on their faces, the party beholds a miraculous sight. A dwarf in heavy armor is slowly rising up above the cliff, flapping his arms really, really hard.


A drunk, passed out, face down on freshly cut grass, finally comes to.

He gets up and staggers across the street and into a bar. The bartender looks up and says…

“Why the lawn face?”


Why did the seven dwarfs sell all their gems?

To get hi with their hos.


My dog fell into the water but didn’t sink.

He was a good buoy.

What if Dairy Queen and Smoothie King mated?

Prince’s Hamburgers

What if Dairy Queen merged with the Bel Aire Diner?

Dairy Smooth? Queen Smoothie? Queen King? I don’t get it.

(I just googled, and found out Smoothie King is a real place.)

Their offspring would be The Smooth Prince of Dairy Air?

That’s what you gotta love about Midwest dairy farms- even from a mile away, you can really smell the dairy air.

But not the dairy farms in California, New York, or Pennsylvania, which are 3 of the top 6 states with the most dairy cattle?

Yes of course, my apologies, I was dairylict in excluding non-Midwest dairy farms. Not sure why I even used the qualification ‘Midwest’. Sometimes I lactose qualities of common sense that would make me a butter communicator. I didn’t mean to cheese you off. I’m sure the dairy farms of California, New York and Pennsylvania smell every bit as strongly of dairy air as those of the Midwest.

Shouldn’t that be “butter communicator”?

Aw you’re right, what a missed opportunity! :man_facepalming:

….almost, that is. It was still in the edit window, so I fixed it. Thanks!

Say what you will, they sing about the British versions. Who hasn’t heard of the London dairy air?