Because of its many faults.
Bee-jing and Sting-apore.
Pterodactylic t-rexameter.
It was wearing high heels!
Then does having sex for free make you a non-profit whoreganisation?
I was recently accused of being a flamingo.
I had to put my foot down.
A woman in Italy told me it’s healthy to eat pasta every day as long as you only eat lasagna on the weekends. I am seeking no further nutritional opinions at this time.
When I die, I’m donating all my organs to science but my middle finger goes to Microsoft.
me: I feel like I’ve been tired for seven years.
son: That’s how old I am!
me: What a coincidence.
The couple in bed.
her: I bet he’s thinking about other women 
him: Why is Batman one word; Iron Man two words; and Spider-man two words with a hyphen?
Science teacher: Did you know that protons have mass?
Me: I didn’t even know protons were catholic!
The definition of confusion: 20 blind lesbians in a fish market.
There’s ‘Hors D’oeuvres’ for starters.
It’s a play on words.
and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance, then casually looks at his watch for a moment.
The woman notices this and asks, “Is your date running late?”
“No,” he replies, “I just bought this state-of-the-art watch and I was just testing it.”
The intrigued woman says, “A state-of-the-art watch? What’s so special about it?”
“It uses alpha waves to telepathically talk to me,” he explains.
“What’s it telling you now?” she asked.
“Well, it says you’re not wearing any panties.” he said.
The woman giggles and replies, “Well it must be broken then because I am wearing panties!”
The man explains, “Damn thing must be an hour fast.”
It’s all in the delivery.
To prove that he has no ties to Poutine.
Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake.
…considering how much of it is recycled.
But I’ve never had a beef with one.
Even though it’s a pallet cleanser.
We’ll see about that!
Didn’t you already post that one a couple thousand posts ago?
Reduce. Reuse. Recycle.
Two outta three ain’t bad.
“Guilty”, said the man in the dock. At this point a man at the back of the court stood up and shouted “You dirty rat!” The Judge asked the man to site down and to refrain from making any noise.
The Judge continued “… and that also on the 17th September you are accused of killing your son by beating him to death with a hammer, how do you plead”? “Guilty”, said the man in the dock.
Again the same man at the back stood up and shouted even louder, "You dirty rotten stinking rat"!!
At this point the Judge called the man to the bench and said, “I have already asked you to be quiet, if you continue with these outbursts, I will have to charge you with contempt of court. I can understand your feelings, but what relationship have you to this man?”
He replied “He is my next door neighbor”.
The Judge replied, “I can understand your feelings then, but you must refrain from any comments”.
The man replied “NO, your Honor, you don’t understand. Twice I have asked if I could borrow a hammer, and BOTH TIMES he said he didn’t have one”!!!
Willy Wonkawonkawonkawonka.
The bartender asked why he was so glum. He told him “I got caught cheating on Lois by sleeping with her sister Lucy.” The bartender responded with “Dude, you need to stay in your own Lane.”
If you’ve seen one, you’ve seen them all.
Sycophants.
so he approached his father. His partly sober dad took his time to help Johnny using all the illustrations he could lay his hand upon.
The next day, after noticing how bright and happily Johnny appeared, the teacher tried to direct some questions to him.
Teacher: "What’s 1/8 + 1/8?"r>
Johnny: “A quarter.”
Teacher: “That’s Correct.”
The class errupted into an atmosphere of loud cheers.
Teacher: "And what is 1/4 + 1/4? "
Johnny: “Half”
The class cheered and applauded once again.
Teacher: “Lastly, can you tell me what 1/2 + 1/2 is?”
Johnny: “That’s a full pint.”
Sherwood Florist.
Unfortunately my pen turned into a gorilla and the floor melted.
I thought that they created atmosphere.
Sycamore.
Unfortunately, I usually get the ‘find out’ part without experiencing the ‘f#&*’ around part. FAFO
Why is everyone against sugar?
Who stood beside you when things went wrong and you were sad?.
It sure wasn’t lettuce!
Young man and lady friend sitting at a restaurant.
Man: May I push in your stool?
Date: it’s a chair. The other depends on how the date goes.
A nurse finds a rectal thermometer in their pocket and thinks … some asshole has my pen.
Spider: Why are you terrified by me?
Me: Well the reasons I had have all been replaced by the fact that you can talk.
The “eat all you want” diet:
You won’t lose a pound, but it’s easy to stick to 
I identify as clumsy.
My pronouns are oops/ouch/ohno.
When you go in for a job interview, I think it’s good to ask is if they ever press charges.
Me: I went to an antique auction yesterday.
Wife: How was it?
Me: Four people bid on me.
Ah. That explains it.
…a Beef Wellington for a different tax bracket.
A Sauer crowd.
But come on, if you had laser hair, would you really want to remove them? No, you’d be starting world domination!
user ukili: Try pressing CapsLock.
user kiki357: AWESOME, NOW I DON’T HAVE TO KEEP PRESSING SHIFT!!!
I could only say, “Dude, that is the last thing I’ll need.”
What’s the difference between an oral, and a rectal thermometer?
The taste.
My wife thought this one was so good, she’d rehearsing it over and over this evening so she can remember it to tell at work tomorrow 
…genital contractors.
Only one of them gets paid to sit on the john by the hour.
It’ll probably last longer than I will.
He was too far out, man.
I’ve always thought he was just a theoretical physicist.
Ha! This is similar to the reaction I get from some folks, when I them I’m a “human geographer.”
They’ll say something like: “As opposed to…an orangutan who’s a geographer?”
No, I meant as opposed to a PHYSICAL geographer (though the lines are getting blurrier in recent years).
Did you hear about the prostitute who kept orifice hours ?
She also held a big celebration to advertise her grand opening.
Not all construction work is equally enjoyable.
For example, enlarging a drilled hole is boring, but fastening two pieces of metal together is riveting.