Jeez, it’s just a joke-- stop trying to make such a big dill out of it 
I always relish Chronos’s comments.
Glad to hear you don’t consider Chronos’ comments to be a waste of thyme.
My brine just can’t handle any more of these jokes.
Lettuce move on.
Singing “Blowing In The Wind?”
I am not worthy. 
Well, the ants are your friends.
Doctor, performing a prostate exam: “Now, Steve, it’s perfectly normal to get an erection during this procedure.”
Patient: “That’s fine, but I’m George.”
Doctor: “My name is Steve.”
(I know these have been done to death but this was a new one on me)
What do you call a girl with no arms and no legs riding in the bed of a pickup driving on a bumpy road?
Jocelyn.
I thought I bought an ancient religious painting, but it turned out to be a forgery.
I was iconned.
How To Ruin A Knock-Knock Joke:
–Knock, knock.
Come in.
“Mrs. Green? It’s the hospital. Your little boy has been hit by a bus, but don’t worry.”
“He had clean underwear on”.
Why do carpenters have a reputation for being considerate lovers?
Because they pleasure twice and nut once.
A keyboard walks into the bar.
The bartender asks, “Why the long space?”
I want a bouncy house at my funeral. And I want to be in it too. When all my friends jump, my lifeless body will bounce with them.
What fun.
Image credit: ChatGPT. Apologies if my guess at your appearance is wildly incorrect.
If you recharge a dead battery, does that make it an undead battery?
Well, for one thing, the real @smithsb looks a lot more alive.
A guy walks up to the DJ at a high school homecoming.
(Shouting over the loud bass)“Do you take requests?”
“Sure.”
“Please stop.”
I was assaulted by a man with a block of cheese.
I mean, how dairy!
What’s an ambulance driver’s favorite gaming system?
Wii U.
My umbrella broke in half today, which sucks…
But it’s OK, because the weatherman said there’s only a 50% chance of rain.
What sound does a horse make while walking?
Clop, clop.
What sound does a horse make while walking uphill?
Clop, clop multiplied by the cosine of the slope angle.
Love it. ChatGPT has a real use. Only needs a handlebar moustache.
I get lots of requests. But I’m gonna keep playing anyway.
An 80 year old man is brought before the court for shoplifting.
This was his third offense and the sentencing guidelines called for a sentence of 15 to 20 years.
The judge says: “This is your third offense. You are hereby sentenced to 15 years.”
“But I’m 80 years old,” the man says. “I’ll never live that long.”
“Well”, says the judge, “just do the best you can.”
The best Father’s Day gift is a drum with no drumsticks.
It can’t be beat.
I’m a stay at home dad and I started a daycare.
When one of the parents was picking up their kid they commented,”Did you get the idea for this from that movie?”
I said,”I did!”
They go,”Oh my god! I loved Daddy Daycare!”
I replied,” Actually, it was Apocalypse Now”.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
It didn’t. It got run over.
…or just to show the armadillo that it really could be done.