Thanks. I now recall that the names had your explanatory sentences. Titus was, ‘Titus. He’s self-explanatory.’
And a slide rule
I think it should be: The Constipated Mathematician† works out his logs with a pencil and slide rule.
†band name
Now I want to listen to Constipation Blues by Screamin’ Jay Hawkins.
Ex-Lax is the best fighter the world ever had.
He could pound the sh*t out of Superman.
Got called into an HR meeting because apparently telling your co-worker that you knew he was a C-section baby by the way he avoids labor is not acceptable.
I was at Walmart with my three sons and my youngest started crying because he wanted a box of tampons thinking it was candy.
My middle son yelled, “Those aren’t candy, they’re TAMPONS for Mommy’s WIENER!”
My oldest screamed, “Mommy doesn’t have a WIENER, she has a VAGINA!”
He was so proud of his new words.
The cashier said, “Strip down, facing me.”
By the time I realized she meant the debit card, it was too late.
A seven-year-old boy walks into a drugstore and says “I’d like a box of Tampax, please”. The clerk asks him “Why do you want a box of Tampax?” The boy says “The ads say that with Tampax, you can swim, ride a bike, or climb a tree, and I can’t do any of those things.”
AI Overview: World War I fighter planes, particularly those with rotary engines, used castor oil as a high-performance lubricant because it performed well in the low-temperature conditions of high-altitude flight and could tolerate the high-stress operation of the engine’s total loss oiling system. While effective, the oil was expelled from the engine as a mist, coating the pilot, goggles, and plane, and acting as a natural laxative that caused nausea and digestive upset among aviators.
A Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story of the Good Samaritan.
She asked the class, “If you saw a person lying on the roadside, all wounded and bleeding, what would you do?”
A thoughtful little girl broke the hushed silence, “I think I’d throw up.”
What’s a dentist’s favorite hymn?
Crown Him With Many Crowns.
Someone sent the Buddha a gift box tied with a ribbon.
Buddha opened it to find it empty. “Aha!”, he said, “Just what I wanted. Nothing!”
What do you call a guy wearing a hockey mask at the grocery store?
Freddy Kroger.
What do you call someone who imitates your Fall centerpiece?
A cornucopier.
Costco cashier: Did you find everything you were looking for?
Me: First of all, I wasn’t looking for any of this.
I called ahead to the Supermarket to ask them to lock the Ice Cream section until I leave the store.
Let’s have the immigrants hunt down sexual predators for a chance at citizenship. We’ll call it ‘Aliens vs. Predators’.
What’s worse than a box full of snakes?
A box that was supposed to be full of snakes
Why did we name it Parmesan cheese…
… instead of spaghetti confetti? It’s like we don’t even try anymore. 
Winwood mostly played keys, Dave Mason mostly played guitar. Except for the John Barleycorn record.
I’ll need that one explained. I can see irony in someone named **Win[d]**wood playing a keyboard. Not sure about a Mason playing a guitar. Barleycorn? 
I’m a bit (my term) overweight. Doc said to get more seafood in your diet.
Me: Swim you damn pig!
It’s a reference to the last panel of the cartoon.
Ah. OK. I saw the cartoon months (?) ago, so I didn’t re-read it.
I love it when I stump the IT guy.
"Aha, you thought this would be a quick ticket. Just remote in, click one button and make me look like a fool. But … I have screwed things up more than you could have imagined. Checkmate!