A bartender wanted to open a whorehouse above his bar, so he asked his accountant if this would be a good business plan.
The accountant said, “don’t do it; it’s a terrible idea.”
“Why?” asked the bartender.
And the accountant said, “Because there’s too much fucking overhead.”
Coke and Pepsi got married.
They wanted a baby. They tried, and tried, but no luck.
Finally, desperate, they went to Dr. Pepper. The Doctor examined them and said:
“Sorry, but I am afraid there is nothing I can do. The problem is that you are both pops.”
Bob was sued by his neighbor for defamation of character.
She claimed that during an argument he had called her a pig.
Bob was found guilty and fined $100.
After the trial he approached the judge and asked, “Does this mean that I can no longer call Mrs. Johnson a pig?”
The judge confirmed that that was true.
“Well, then would I be allowed to call a pig, ‘Mrs. Johnson’?” he then asked.
The judge replied that he could indeed call a pig ‘Mrs. Johnson’ with no fear of legal action.
Content with that answer Bob started to walk out of the courtroom, turned to his neighbor and said “Good day, Mrs. Johnson."
I wanted to sue my airline for damage to my luggage.
Unfortunately my lawyer said my case wouldn’t stand up in court.
What’s the worst thing you’ve ever been told right after sex?
For me, it was definitely “This could have been an email.”
