I bought a gun but I could not figure out how to fire it.
Luckily, the manual had a trouble shooting section.
Reading Jane Austen is essential.
Thecdinosaurs didn’t read her books, and look whar happened to them!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
She wasn’t wearing a seatbelt.
What sound does a piano make when it falls down a mineshaft?
A flat minor.
Never go to bed hungry.
You might lie awake with insomnomnomnomnia.
What’s the best way to quit vegetarianism?
Cold turkey.
What is an underutilized word for something is probably true?
Nearfetched.
So, to make a long story short, I became an editor.
I try to avoid junk food, but I have a hard time resisting it.
I guess you could call it a ‘love / ate relationship’.
I went bald years ago but I still carry around my comb.
I just can’t part with it.
There once was a man
From Peru, who confused
Limericks with haikus
Please help! I am trapped
In a haiku factory
Save me before they
There once was a man from Peru
Whose limericks stopped at line two.
There once was a man from Verdun.
There once was a young lady of Boston, Mass.
Who went wading in water up to her knees
This doesn’t rhyme
But it will when the tide comes in
I lost my haiku
Please tell me if you see it.
Thank you very much.
There was a young lady from Clyde
who ate a bad apple & died.
the apple fermented
inside the lamented,
making cider inside her insides!
Apparently the world tongue twister champion was recently arrested.
I hear they’re gonna give him a tough sentence.
What’s the problem eating too much pumpkin pie this time of year?
You’ll get autumn’y ache.
Why do cows never walk out of horror movies?
They’re able to stomach a lot.
I liked that one. 
Way back when I was a teenager, I gave my (completely bald) father a gift of a hairbrush, without any bristles.
Roses are red, violets are blue.
Some poems rhyme -
This one doesn’t.
If you’re referring to the joke in the first post of this thread, the joke is that
it’s quiet, despite it being Saturday, because … there are 2 lions walking around !
There once was a man from the sticks,
Who loved to compose limericks
But he failed at his sport,
They were always too short
Rose’s are red
Violet’s are blue
Mine are orange
What colour are yours?