I bought Bonnie Tyler’s car recently on ebay, but it’s rubbish…
Every now and then it falls apart
Ted Cruz almost made America great again…
…but then the idiot came back
Why was the elephant arrested?
It forgot it’s swim trunks.
What do you get for winning the muscle loss competition? Atrophy.
Wife: You had a vasectomy without telling me? Are you serious?
Husband: I kid you not.