Sure! We use the decimal system to count: 1-9, then we go to 10, and so on. An octimal system would be 1-7 then 10. So counting what would be 25 of something in Dec is 31 in Oct.
I saw one that was:
“What does Y-E-S spell?”
“Yes.”
“What does E-Y-E-S spell?”
“E-Yes”
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Formaldehyde.
Formaldehyde, who?
Formaldehyding places jumped the bandits!
If you lose one sense, your other senses are enhanced.
This is why people with no sense of humor, have a heightened sense of self-importance.
How did the hacker get away from the police?
He ransomware.
How do you get $1000 in cryptocurrency?
Invest $2000.
What do you call a transgender whale?
Maybe Dick
Prof. P, These take the (carrot) cake! LOL
Derby hat time in the old town tonight.
Nice.
Interestingly, except for the impurities in the gasoline answer, any of these could be correct. Add to this: The materials engineer says, “the heat of the engine is causing the A/C clutch to disengage too soon.”
(The real life answer to my wife’s car’s AC issues.)
Just in case, let me spell it out…
Dec (base 10) - Oct (base 8)
10 = 10 ---------- 10 = 8
(dashes added so column formatting would work)
So in Dec, 25 is 2x 10s + 1x 5 = 25
In Oct, it’s 3x 8’s (written 3x 10 or 30) + 1 = 31
Thus Oct 31 = Dec 25
A make-up artist was surprised when people told her she wouldn’t be a good politician.
“But why?” she asked. “Isn’t it all just lip service?”
A coworker named Celsius recently retired at my work, so they hired a guy named Kelvin to replace him.
He’s the new temp.
What do you call someone who isn’t sure if the Easter Bunny is real?
An Eggnostic.
Plastic surgery support group leader:
“I see a lot of new faces here today. I must say, I am disappointed.”
No death jokes, so far. So here’s one…
A man is walking thru an old Austrian cemetery. And he hears this weird sound, like music being played backwards. And when he tries to find its origin, he comes upon a mausoleum. Beethoven’s mausoleum.
He opens it up, and he sees Beethoven’s corpse erasing music. ‘Beethoven!’ he exclaims, ‘You can’t erase this music. It’s the greatest music in the world!’ ‘Oh, don’t mind me,’ Beethoven says. ‘I’m just decomposing.’
Why did Jesus leave the stone rolled aside on Easter morning?
He was, after all, born in a barn
Why didn’t the Easter egg cross the road?
Because he wasn’t a chicken yet.
A man, his wife, and his cranky mother-in-law
went on vacation to the Holy Land. While they were there, the mother-in-law passed away.
The undertaker told them, “You can have her shipped home for $5,000, or you can bury her here in the Holy Land for $150”.
The man thought about it for a while and told the undertaker he would just have her shipped home.
The undertaker asked, “Why…. why would you spend $5,000 to ship your mother-in-law home when it would be wonderful to be buried here and spend only $150?”
The man said, “A man died here about 2000 years ago. He was buried here and three days later, he rose from the dead. I just can’t take that chance.”
A minister started his Children’s Sermon with a question:
Who knows what the Resurrection is?
Without missing a beat a young boy says, “If you have one lasting more than 4 hours call your physician.”
In HS possibly, I heard about this rural man named Hogg who had three daughters. He named them Ima, Ura and Husa. (I laughed hysterically at the time 
.)
How does Alfred tell Bruce Wayne that his meal is ready?
dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner,
dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner,
Batman!
That was funny when I was eight.
They had four children, William Clifford (1875), Ima (1882), Michael (1885), and Thomas Elijah (1887). Ima was named for the heroine of the poem The Fate of Marvin , written by Hogg’s older brother Tom in 1873.[3] Although legend states that the Hoggs also had a daughter named Ura, that allegation is false.
Incidentally…
- In 1941, Lear married his fourth wife, Moya Marie Olsen. They had four children together: John Olsen Lear, Shanda, David and Tina.
Wonder if they dated the Whitt brothers, Haph and Dimm. They ended up marring the Lee sisters, Ugg and Hom.
Bus driver: “This bus goes to Fish Hook”.
Passenger: “Fish Hook - where’s thst?”
Bus driver: “It’s at the end of the line”.
What did the Pink Panther say when he saw a dead ant? Dead-ant! Dead-ant! Dead-ant dead-ant dead-ant! (Ditto for me, though I may have been six.)
EDIT: Here, if the reference is dated to you: Pink Panther theme.