I can’t remember the title of this one, but it had two lines that killed me. The story was that a monster (played by a group of kids holding a carpet over their heads) had arrived from outer space and was randomly eating people who were too slow to run from it. I remember reading that the sound had been added later because the director had accidentally destroyed the original sound tapes.
Anyway, the lines:
A rather egg-shaped man is fishing by a river.
Crow: “He’s a matryoshka doll! There’s three more of 'em inside!”
The monster is trying to attack a car, but is just rocking back and forth against the trunk.
Crow: “Uh, Mike?”
Mike: “Well, you see, when a car and a monster love each other very much, they…”
There’s one short film that just kills me. It’s from the late 1950’s/60’s and it’s entitled something like Home Economics, which means that it’s basically a film telling high school girls they should go to college to meet some man they can marry who’ll take care of them.
Anyway, there’s a scene with all the “girls” sitting around in a dorm room talking.
Narrator: The girls are talking about their plans after they graduate from college.
Crow (high pitched female voice): I’m gonna take Bob for all he’s worth!
Creeping Terror
Another thing I like about that one. When the monster is attacking people at “makeout point” a guy drives by then sits and watches for several minutes! Then suddenly says “God” and then puts the car in gear.
Crow:“thats the last straw for that guy”
The longest “short” I can remember on the show. It lasted @ half an hour. There’s a really great moment in it. One of the girl’s little brothers is a chunky kid w/ a strangely flamboyant (for the 50’s) purple shirt. Servo says “Hey! It’s Prince! His Royal Badness, when he was a pudgy little white kid.” Joel turns, looks at him, pauses a long second, and says “That was a reach…”
Every scene is painfully funny. GOD I love that. Even the usually inane sketches in between the movie sections are hilarious. To this day, whenever anyone calls out more than one name, certain friends and I add “Chief?” “McCloud?”.
Also:
“Huzzah!”
“Meanwhile, it yet ANOTHER movie…”
“Trumpy… I brought you a cup of Treacle…”
“Like hell! More food!”
“Ohhh… he’s stealing all the Nerf Toast!”
Don’t remember the movie, but two yuks are making wise cracks during a rainstorm. The camera cuts to the sky, and you see a flash of lightning. One of the bots booms out in a deep voice:
Possibly supposed to be “It lasted ~ half an hour”, as in approximately half an hour.
But my very favorite short, out of all the ones that they ever did, is also the last one they aver did: A Case of Spring Fever. Some of the great lines:
Coily, the Spring Sprite: NOOOOOO SPRINGS!!!
“I’ll show Coily! I’m gonna digitize everything!”
“Look, it’s Coily’s Army of Darkness!”
“Can’t decide between short sleeves and long? Split the difference!”
You know, now that I think about it, I think I’ll watch A Case of Spring Fever (which, I forgot to mention, was in the second-to-last episode, 1012 - Squirm) right now!
The Home Economics Story is my favorite of all the shorts, even more than Mr. B. Natural.
NARRATOR: This [assembly] was for the girls only…
CROW, TOM, and JOEL: Ooooohhhhhh…
(male teacher stands at podium)
JOEL: “Your Period and Mine: A Lecture”
FEMALE TEACHER: Today I’d like to tell you about several girls I know very well…
CROW: …and why I’m being fired.
As Kay’s mom helps her hang ugly draperies in the dorm room…
JOEL: I’ve got a feeling mom majored in home economics at Iowa State.
NARRATOR: Early October, headed for an 8 o’clock class in Home Economics Hall…
JOEL: Tragedy struck! A lone gunman…
Probably my favorite quote ever from the show is only funny in context, and with Joel doing the accent, but here goes:
In “Master Ninja II,” when Crystal Bernard comes home to find her house has been vandalized by the bad guys, the scene is lit badly and her front door looks inexplicably shiny.
JOEL: They var-nished mah house!
