Wow. So what’s wrong with me that I fell in love with and married a woman who meets your description? And when she kisses me just so, I get a raging stiffy and feel the overwhelming compulsion to drag her into the bedroom? Should I seek therapy, Dr. Dart?
I enjoy summer as much as the next person, but deep down I look forward to autumn, because the idiot cybertots go back to school and leave us uncontaminated by their callow droolings.
No, what’s going to keep you from having a sexual/romantic relationship with attractive girls is your off-putting personality. It’s nice for each of us to think that everyone else is exactly as shallow as ourselves, but it isn’t true.
Heh, people just love shoving their insecurities over onto you. Everyone has their “fatness” in someone it may be that they stutter, or someone else it may be that they don’t listen to other people, or it could be violent tendencies, or it could be a terrible memory, or being not that bright. Everyone’s got flaws, multiple flaws in fact. Pushing it over on someone is just ridiculous.
I myself think women are beautiful and have been all over a woman who was over 200 lbs and all over a woman who was 110 lbs. From short to tall, and young to old. If there is so much variation possible within just one person’s taste, imagine how much is possible within the whole gamut of males. It’s pretty ridiculous to limit yourself based upon societal mores, however that applies to dating fat women just so you don’t feel shallow. Attraction is something you should be honest with yourself about, and don’t compromise on it for anyone. If you’re not attracted to your SO, it’s over. Sounds like you have some serious problems with your SO and need to work them out.
Myself, one of my flaws in this regard is I find it very unattractive when people are overly concerned about their physical appearance. Hiding one’s figure with baggy clothes does not hide it, it makes you look even LARGER than you actually are. That kind of thing turns me off. So I try to avoid people with this particular issue. Again, though, I gave this example to illustrate a point, that there will always be some reason for people to tune you out, or to tune you in. Just try and make yourself feel attractive because that’s your surest road to success in mating.
Erek
Rex, I’m not too sure that you know what 200 lbs looks like. Linda here is probably pretty close, and I’m reasonably sure that quite of few of those men you spoke to would be falling all over themselves trying to meet her if she entered the room.
You like teeny, tiny chicks? Great. However, I think you’re selling yourself short if you say they won’t date you. I’m pretty teeny, tiny, and I’ve dated some pretty big guys. I was engaged to a fella that was about 6’, 230, and dated another that was about 6’2", 220. I thought both of them were pretty hot - perhaps it’s your negative attitude that’s putting the ladies off, rather than your size.
Just a thought.
People seem to find me attractive.
Is it me or does 5’7" and in the “mid-hundreds” sound like a healthy weight?
Rex, sounds to me like your idea of an “attractive” women is an anorexic one…
What’s the name of that anorexic porn site again? I think Rex might enjoy it.
No, I mean, I guess I’m not SURPRISED that people do this…but…I dunno, I still don’t want to believe it.
It makes me want to cry.
Although a guy saying something like that in college-maybe I was lucky because I went to a nice, small private college, but honestly, you’d think people would LEARN.
I think “real science” on this can be found simply by looking the fuck around you. Do you honestly believe that every 200+ girl in the world is sitting home pining for love because they’re sooooo undesirable? Or that the men who do chose big women are actually all just “settling” and are secretly disgusted by their life-partner? Do you really think that big men never land the traditional hottie? That all ‘beautiful’ women are so unable to choose men based on personality and compatibility that they’re reduced to simply basing their decisions on looks?
Are you so convinced that the world is populated with shallow, lonely people like you who base all hope of romantic involvement on unyielding standards of physical beauty? If you do, I feel sorry for you, and I think you should read over some of the responses to this thread, and reconsider.
bella
You’re 6 foot 6 and you weight 128 pounds?
Isn’t that absolutely positively freakishly thin?
66" = sixty-six inches = five foot six
Hi. [sub]Well, obviously he hasn’t met me, so I’m just introducing myself.[/sub]
“A relationship has to start with attraction, otherwise you wouldn’t notice each other out of the crowd of people you meet every day.”
And attraction to one person might not be to another. I’m attracted to non-skinny women. The kind of women I dig you might not “settle” for.
Pardon me while I bawl my eyes out;)
Oh, and Re: meeting women who weigh more than 200 lbs, I’ll just toss out a few names:
Falcon
Green Bean
MsRobyn
Purplebear
My friend Jess (though admittedly I never put her on a scale. Guess what: she was hot and I didn’t give a flying fuck how much she weighed)
Those are the only dopers I can think of who are female and “fat” in that they weigh more than 200 lbs.
Max, 66" is 5’6".
And curse you, alice. I went on a search for a 200 lb. supermodel and couldn’t find anything but porn sites.
You know…if I, an admittedly overweight person, get this much flak for saying I don’t find overweight women attractive, imagine what this board would have done to a lean frat boy claiming the same. I don’t expect any more from women than I do from myself. I expect them to want the guy with the 28-30" waist as much as I want the girl who shops at 5-7-9. I’m not pointing out any flaws in others that I won’t admit are present in myself. I took that stance from the get-go, reinforced it in later posts, and still people want to pile on.
If I’d came on here saying that I would only date a size 5, but that I expected that size 5 to date my 250 lb. body and I wasn’t gonna change it…well, that wouldda made me a hypocritical a-hole. I didn’t do that.
I’m just trying to be realistic. People do classify folks they meet on the street in terms of weight/size. It does matter…and it won’t change. For those of you here who have had great relationships with overweight men and women who you find incredibly attractive, well that’s super for you. Most of the world simply isn’t that way, and never will be that way. I’ve yet to meet the girl who would look past my size, even when I had a strong intellectual and conversational connection already in place.
Two minor things…I’m sick of people throwing around the word “anorexic” as if it applies to every 5’6" 100 lb girl. “Anorexia” is an actual psychological dysfunction. I’ve known a couple girls who had it, and I’ve known dozens more who didn’t, all in the weight range I’m talking about. You don’t have to be anorexic to be skinny.
Secondly, if your hangup about my post was the specific weight number I mentioned, you can just throw that out. I’m not much of a weight-guesser, pehaps I didn’t express exactly the sort of “overweight” I was talking about. When I pictured 200 lbs., I was thinking of the lady who plays Nancy Wesley on “Days of Our Lives” as just a little heavier than 200, and Cameron Manheim from “The Practice” as maybe 230. So if that calibrates your scale at all. If someone can find out what the African-American woman who plays the head of homicide detectives on “Law and Order” weighs, I think I’ll have a good idea, since she looks like what I consider average weight for a person of her size.
As I have stated before on these boards, I simply adore great big GIGANTIC men. I don’t care how tall or short, but they better have some weight on them. And I mean a lot. I haven’t met a man yet that I found too heavy. To each his own, but to those of y’all that don’t care for heavyset men…then GOODY! More for me! 
I’ve been every size from five to twenty to my present thirteen. After being that size five for over six years, I am presently really sick of being big right now. It’s on my last nerve. But I am here to tell ya…I have yet to lack any attention from the opposite sex (and for all I know, the same gender!) since I’ve gained my weight.
In fact, it’s almost worse than it was when I considered myself “the right size.”
Crazy4Chaucer, honey, I know exactly where you’re coming from. I was a tubbo in grade school on up until I was about twenty. (And, I am nowhere near twenty anymore.) I was tormented every single goddamn day of my life until one day, I decided that if those jackoffs didn’t want me, then I sure as hell didn’t want them either. Nor their opinions. If your husband is acting like this for over a year, maybe you need to think about dumping him instead of any pounds. It’s not your weight…it’s his problem. His. Not yours.
You have to love yourself first. After that, it’ll fall in line. Really. Email me if you want to gripe, cry or talk. It’s in my profile.
Chin up, gal.
And as an aside to RexDart:
You’d fall all over me if you ever met me, sugar. Fat or not. Too bad I can spot a jackass a mile away, considering I married two of them. Stop being a jackass…because I really like big ol’ guys, and you’re just ruining their image.
People will never learn. As long as there are people there will be idiots, jerks, and losers. They will always be vocal about how they feel about you or anyone. You know what though? Fuck them. Fuck their opinions. Fuck how they call me fat ass or queer just cause I’m not like them. I don’t need that shit, no one does.someone once told me something along the the lines of this: You can’t choose how people act but you can choose how you react. Don’t let them drag you down with them cause deep down they are hurting too. I know it has been said before and it will be said again. Bullies are insecure about themselves so they pick on you to make themselves feel good. Fuck that don’t give them the pleasure of a reaction. Just ignore it. I’m fat. So what? I get good grades. Thats more than I can say for the people that pick on me. c4c don’t let them drag you down.
I hate the media I really do. They put this image of if you don’t look like this your not “in”. Again I repeat fuck it. Why would I wanna be “in” and look like a reject when I could be a dork and wear clothes I like.
In short I like all women are beautiful in some way. Unless they are really mean. I’m sorry for the way you are treated. I know how it feels, I really do.
-X-
You didn’t just say that you don’t find overweight women attractive. You said that overweight women are not attractive.
Do you understand the difference?
Do’h that should read “I think all women are beautiful in some way.”
Actually, yes.
One of my favorite books is ‘The Blue Castle’ by L.M. Montgomery (Author of the great ‘Anne of Green Gables’ series, near the early 1900’s). ‘The Blue Castle’ is about an odd woman, an ‘old maid’ at 29, plain, too thin, too meek who realizes that she’s nothing left to lose and changes her entire life.
Here’s an excert as she’s thinking of a picnic her relatives are going to have:
“Perhaps Uncle Herbert wouldn’t say anything - or perhaps he would remark jocularly, “How fat you’re getting, Doss!” And then everybody would laugh over the excessively humorous idea of poor, scrawny little Doss getting fat.”
Her family teased her publically for being scrawny and thin (i.e. not attractive). The book mentions several times her longing to be fatter, admiring plumper bodies, thinking longingly of her beautiful cousin Olives plump white arms, while hiding her own stick like arms in long sleeves…etc…
So, yes, our society has not always been about ‘there’s no such thing as too thin’.
Just read your post and remembered this great book. 
I meant that first paragraph to be a joke, but even as I was writing it I was sure that the answer would be ‘yes.’ Humans, and their capacity for complaining, never change. Thanks for the heads up Vivien.
Just for the record, the girl really was a recovering anorexic. The psychological disfunction kind. You know, RexDart, most of us on this board know what we’re talking about most of the time.
BTW: apologies for the grammar/spelling errors in the previous long post.
And Silky… where were you when I lived in Alabama (Mobile, Auburn, & B’ham)? 