My glorious life as a fat person!

[bernse]

I think Rex-Dart has used some poor choice of words and bad examples.

I married a woman that is beautiful, 5’9" or so and weighs about 125lbs. She is healthy and has an appetite that rivals mine (I’m 5’11" and about 200). She is -not- anoerixic… she just has a metabolism that won’t slow down. However, in my past I have dated women that are far from petite and cared very much for all of them. None which I would consider obese but definetly not “skinny” either.

While Rex is making blanket satements (example):

A biological standard of attractiveness for women might include wider child-bearing hips, but it has never included chunky thighs, and you can’t expect a man to be attracted to a 200 lb woman, regardless of her build. We men need visual stimulation for sex, it’s just part of the biology. We can’t just think about how we feel about a person, we must picture the person in our mind. How we feel is still important, but it won’t “get it up” biologically.

He is getting jumped on (maybe rightfully) but in his defense I personally wouldn’t be physically attracted to a 300lb woman walking down the street either, but I sure as fuck would be making fun of her. That is rude and disrespectful. HOWEVER, there are men that actively seek out “large” women and pursue them. I know of two off the top of my head that will ONLY go after the plus size ladies so it is not fair whatsoever to say that NO MAN is attracted to them. Absolute bullshit.

[sidle]

I gotcha, jarbabyj
Mine is also in constant flux.
Luckily, he won’t find out, so he’ll never give yours out!

Now, to C4C, since I’ve hijacked her thread enough with my “Dart-throwing” without addressing the OP;

I’m sorry that you have to feel this way, and that dumbass people sometimes say cruel things.
I once was drinking and got sick in college, and ran into the bathroom to puke (lovely, I know…)
Anyway, some idiot frat boy called in to me,
“Are you OK? Do you need any help?”
I declined, he then said to the rest of the group (not knowing I could hear, but STILL)
“Yeah, like I’d EVER help anybody as fat as that anyway!”
:eek:
Not to mention that I think I weighed like 137 at the time, which is still within healthy weight range for my height.
I was humiliated. More than that, I was so shocked that there were people out there who actually thought that I wasn’t worth kindness or assistance because I had hourglass hips.
Unbelieveable
These days, that guy’s married, has packed on quite a few, and is downright pudgy. It takes everything I have not to waltz up to him on the rare occasions that I see him and say,
“WOOHOO! What happened to you, PORKY!
OINK OINK OINK OINK!”
I don’t, of course, because I wouldn’t stoop to his level, and besides, unless he’s endangering someone else, I don’t give a rat’s ass what his weight is.

Honestly, being healthy is important, IMO. We’ve only got so much time on this mortal coil, and we should all want to take care of what we’ve got.
Looking healthy is less important.

Talk to your doctor. Check your blood pressure, cholesterol, etc.
Respect your body.

Anyone who tells you otherwise, tell them to go fuck themselves.

[monster]

First of all, I am sorry that jerks get their jollies by insulting you. There really is no excuse for idiots like that. Please don’t let that get you down. I want to reiterate what others have said in this thread. It sounds like you need more self confidence! People of all sizes are more attractive when they hold their head high and their attitudes scream “self-esteem”. I do, however, have one quibble with your OP that is directed at skinny people.

*Originally posted by crazy4chaucer *
**
I know more about nutrition than you’ll ever know in your life, because you’ll never bother to take the time to look anything up. Do you know what it’s like to be desperately trying to lose weight, sticking to a diet, and gaining weight no matter what? Do you know what it’s like to be sticking with your eating plan and being so hungry that people you work with can hear your stomach growling?
**

I’m not crazy about your implication that skinny people can eat anything they want and be ignorant of nutrition and be thin. I work darn hard to be thin. I check labels and sometimes pass on foods that I’d LOVE to eat. Granted, my choices seem to work for me in keeping off the weight, but my tummy growls too sometimes!

[sub]Nobody jump and accuse me of saying “oh, us poor skinny people”. That’s not what I’m saying at all. I’m just pointing out that some thin people do have to work at it and we’re not all judgemental assholes.[/sub]

[Arden_Ranger]

First is that, just speaking of physical attractiveness, there are countless ways for women to be beautiful, from young to old, from skinny to Rubenesque, from short to tall, in all skin hues known to man, in every natural hair color and some unnatural ones. Any man who can’t see this is missing the banquet, and I feel sorry for him.

RT has one lucky wife.

[Green_Bean]

I LIE to my husband about my weight. If I have to give my weight I lie.

Then you’re contributing to the problem, jarbaby.

FWIW, I weighed 210 pre-pregnancy, and I now weigh 190. (I lost weight with the pregnancy.) I’m 5’3".

It’s just a number. If some guy thought I was cute, and then decided that I wasn’t cute because the number on my scale is 190, then he’s…I don’t know what he is. The idea of looking down on someone because of the number of their scale is laughable.

If he doesn’t find me cute in the first place because he prefers thinner women, then that’s fine. Do you think that he’ll suddenly find pudgy ol’ me more attractive if he found out that the number on my scale was actually 130?

[sidle]

bernse-
What you said is perfectly reasonable and respectful. What dart said? Maybe not so much.
Maybe you just worded it better, or maybe you just have a healthier, more sophisticated outlook!
One regrettable thing I did notice, though, (not picking on you at all, just using your statement as an example) was your assertion that your wife is thin because she has a quick metabolism.
If a hefty person came in here and said they had a slow metabolism, they would and have been ridiculed as being lazy ignorant slobs.
Certainly, it must work both ways?

[Binarydrone]

*Originally posted by NightRabbit *
**

(P.S. If anyone wants to see a picture of me, they can trot their little tail over to http://www.amherst.edu/~megray ) I’m about 200lbs and hell, I may not be gorgeous but I’m not the monster rex makes me out to be, either **

:Lipsmaking Smilie here: :yummyface smilie here:

[tiny_ham]

Green Bean, the point is, I am overweight,and very embarrassed and distraught about it. So to sit around and have my husband say “Yep, the ol’ filly weighs…XXX and I love her anyhow!” Isn’t my idea of fun.

I’ll let people know what I weigh when I’m proud of it. Just because others are comfortable with their weight, doesn’t mean I have to be.

J

[Green_Bean]

You don’t have to tell anyone your weight. But lying about it contributes to the misunderstandings of how the number on the scale relates to attractiveness.

[tiny_ham]

Well, I dont’…lie per se then, I guess. I just don’t ever ever reveal it.

If my husband said “tell me what you weigh” I’d tell him to go screw himself, it’s none of his business. I’m miserable enough as it is

[bernse]

*Originally posted by sidle *
**[One regrettable thing I did notice, though, (not picking on you at all, just using your statement as an example) was your assertion that your wife is thin because she has a quick metabolism.
If a hefty person came in here and said they had a slow metabolism, they would and have been ridiculed as being lazy ignorant slobs.
Certainly, it must work both ways? **

Fair enough. Maybe I didn’t explain myself well. When I say she has a high metabolism, I mean she can burn calories just sitting there. She is sometimes very warm to the touch and from what I understand always has been. She isn’t super energetic by anymeans and would much rather sit down and read a book for 4 hours. I, however, am usually out putzing around in the yard doing work… usually not terribly difficult work but more than she does (man, I hope she doesn’t read this!) and I,I!! am the person with the tummy… even though we eat virtually identical meals and quantities.

So no, I don’t mean to infer that overweight people that have “low” metabolisms are lazy. Not by any means. Heck, I would probably be classed as overweight and I do a fair amount of physical labor.

[Green_Bean]

*Originally posted by jarbabyj *
Well, I dont’…lie per se then, I guess. I just don’t ever ever reveal it.

That’s not lying, then. So, you’re not “contributing to the problem.” I drink for false accu.

[tiny_ham]

I’ll drink for not being clear.

[OpalCat]

*Originally posted by Snooooopy *
**

Gaaaaah! What a HUGE picture!
…
Would you consider saving it in a more efficient format, or at least cropping it to make it a little smaller? **

Agreed… bmp is not a format for internet viewing. Try .jpg.

[ravesaint]

Lezlers said,

Is it me or does 5’7" and in the “mid-hundreds” sound like a healthy weight?

Rex, sounds to me like your idea of an “attractive” women is an anorexic one…

Ummm, mid hundreds would be probably 125 to 175, right?

If so, this strikes me as a pretty average, healthy weight range for a woman of this height (5’7"). You’d have to drop down quite a bit to get anywhere close to anorexic.

[OpalCat]

*Originally posted by jarbabyj *
**Call me crazy…but if I was one of the wives or friends of some of you posters, and you felt free to just throw my actual weight around to everyone in sight…I’d be pissed as all get out. I would NEVER tell my husband what I weigh, and you can bet that Punha’s never gonna know.

Jesus … how about a little respect.

Some of us are embarrassed enough with our appearance as it is. **

You wouldn’t tell your husband what you weigh?? Weird. My husband knows everything there is to know about me. I don’t care who knows my weight… hell it’s on my website on various lost attempts at dieting pages.

[tiny_ham]

I guess you’re a better person than me Opal!

Look, I’m uncomfortable weighing what I weigh. I’m attractive to my husband, why does he need to know that I’m about thirty pounds OVER what a healthy woman should weigh?

J

[ultrafilter]

*Originally posted by jarbabyj *
Look, I’m uncomfortable weighing what I weigh. I’m attractive to my husband, why does he need to know that I’m about thirty pounds OVER what a healthy woman should weigh?

You’re attractive to him. Why should he care?

[OpalCat]

I never said that, ok? And that is a bit unfair. I’m just surprised when people lie to their spouses. It’s a foreign concept to me. I’m EXTREMELY uncomfortable with my weight. I don’t go out. I don’t meet people. When I visit my hometown, I don’t seek out old friends. I’m embarrassed when I go to the store. I cry sometimes when I look in the mirror. Hell, my insurance just approved my SURGERY that I’m going to have in 2 months to lose weight!

I’m just shocked that someone would lie about it to their spouse. I mean of all the people in the world you should be comfortable confiding in, that strikes me as the top of the list.

[tiny_ham]

I CARE. I CARE I CARE. I don’t want to weigh this amount! I AM OVERWEIGHT, and I don’t really want to broadcast that.

man…that’s a silly post for a public message board.