Expectations aside, some of us are anyway.
They don’t call me “Biggirl” for nothing.
Here’s a point that I’d like to make, reiterate and drive home to everyone-- fat, skinny and in between.
Your weight is not a reflection on your character. Your weight does not make you a good person or a bad one. Being skinny will not make you smart. Being fat does not make you jolly. Fatness does not equal moral shortcomings. Being skinny does not equal superior willpower.
The person that you are is as dependant on your weight as you, yourself allow it to be. I’ve met a lot of rude people in my life and there were multitudes of reasons why perfect strangers thought it was just fine to pass judgement on me-- my weight, my skin color, the neighborhood in which I lived, the freakin music I listen to, the damned book I’m reading— whatever stupid notion that suddenly came upon some random moron with a voicebox.
Every one of these reasons for the callousness and rudeness of assholes was just as valid as the next. Which is to say, not valid at all. No one has the right to belittle me in public (or private, for that matter). Not for any reason.
Your weight is your problem (or your joy, or your don’t-give-a-shit) and it pisses me off to no end how many people seem to think it is not only all right, but good for fat people to be critized and ostricized. And it makes me boil that when an overweight person complains about being discriminated against, laughed at, critized and ostricized there are those (and you know who you are) who say that fat people deserve such treatment.
I do not deserve such treatment. I will not tolerate such treatment.
Biggirl, I pity the poor schmuck who tries to give you shit about anything, let alone your weight.
Biggirl rocks.
Yay! It’s the bi-monthly SDMB “Fat people with hurt feelings, and a poster who isn’t all that bad getting vilified” thread!
Rexdart, how dare you suggest that the majority of fat people eat too much and exercise too little? Don’t you know that 99% of fat people have medical conditions? In fact I think there may be one guy in Wyoming who is just lazy. But everyone else has an excuse. You gotta learn these things before you starting talking about fat people and what you’re attracted to!
(FTR, you did make some generalizations that were off the mark. Outside of those, I’m fine with your post)
No one should be made fun of because of physical traits. No one should be ridiculed. But several examples of the OP seemed to me to be someone looking to get hurt feelings, and not examples of ATTACKS ON THE FATTIES[sup]TM[/sup]. I’m not saying that there weren’t some examples of genuine assholes in he OP, but if you look to have your feelings hurt you’re usually going to be successful.
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Yaay! Another ass who thinks fat people should shut up and take it!
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mouthbreather, how dare you suggest that the majority of fat people are lazy! And why is it any of your fucking business why the hell anybody is fat except you? Yeup, 40% of Americans are just greedy and lazy. Except that 1 person in Wyoming with a medical condition. So go ahead— make fun! We fat people love it! 'Cus 90% of us are jolly! Ho Ho Ho!
So, explain the “looking to get hurt feelings” part again. You know, the part in the OP where C4C begs to be picked on. You know, the part where she’s walking around all fat and unattractive just looking for it.
Because us fatties should just shut the fuck up. Right? Stop making pit threads about it and either take our lazy asses to the gym and stop eating 5 Big Macs a week or just smile and nod when someone whose head is stuck so far up his ass he’s got shit for brains tells us how no one could be attracted to fat women.
So mouthbreather, is there an echo up that canal you and Rex are sharing? Caaannn yooouuu heeeaar meeee?
No, I didn’t say that. I said that No one should be made fun of or ridiculed. But I notice you chose to overlook that.
Sure thing.
From the OP :
All of those situations, she is assuming that people are out to get her or looking down on her (or whatever the situation may be) because she is overweight. Is it possible that she is right? Yes, it is. Is it more liekly that she is overly-sensitive and is attributing things that very well may have other explanations to her weight? IMO, yes.
And Biggirl, continue with the jokes about canals and echoes. Those are hilarious.
Really.
Ah, I see. Her husband hasn’t had sex with her in a year, but she’s just looking to get her feelings hurt. People staring at her food and commenting on it is her looking to get her feelings hurt. That’s funny coming from the guy who just intimated that 90% of fat people are fat because they are greedy and lazy.
Oh and I did catch the part where you said people shouldn’t be rude to other people because of their appearance, but since you went ahead and were rude to 90% of fat people by all but calling them greedy and lazy, I gave it about as much attention as it was worth.
And since you like 'em so much: If you had a flashlight, a map and a clue you may be able to make your way out. A word of advice-- don’t use matches in there.
I do like em. Matches! I’m really cracking up over here.
Now, are we reading the same thread? Where did she say people comment on what is in her cart? She is interpreting the way they look at her.
Also, re: hubby and sex, she said: "And I’m sorry, but I was heavy when we met, and when we got married. "
So then…at one point (I assume) he was having sex with her. If she was heavy then, and is heavy now, then why does she assume his lack of interest is because of her weight? IS it possible that something else might be going on here? nah…
Now, moving away from C4C’s specific case, and onto the more general topic – A serious question for you, Biggirl. Do you think there are more people who are overweight because:
a.) they have medical conditions
b.) because they eat too much and exercise too little?
If you honestly think it is (a) then I guess that’s the end of the discussion, we’ll have to agree to disagree.
If you think it’s (b), like I do, should they continue to piss and moan, or should they get motivated and lose some weight? Would you have the same sympathy for a someone who smokes 3 packs a day and then complains about the cough?
Now, I have no reason to doubt that C4C has a medical condition. I know many people do. But are they the majority of overweight people? I wouldn’t bet on it.
FWIW, there are a number of issues that make it hard for people who are overly obese to lose weight. I’m about to go to lunch (all reasonably healthful food, of course), but if no one has expounded on this by the time I get back, I’ll go into it.
You must join us in one of the many GD threads about weight and weight loss mouthbreather. I’d link to one or two, but it’s peak time and I feel for our hamsters.
Now here’s some real information about overweight America.
According to many reports57% of Americans are overweight. All Americans are sedintary. This is how we live. We work in offices and ride in cars. It doesn’t take much to become overweight in the US. In fact it takes only one Schlotzsky’s Turkey Club sandwich a day to guarantee a weight gain of 2 lbs a week. That’s it. Don’t eat or drink anything else all day long and you will gain 2 lbs a week.
Up to 30% of American women suffer from PCOS. As much as 70% of Americans have used steroids and many don’t even know it. One in 20 have some sort of thyroid problem. Although whether you lose or gain weight is dependent on whether you over or under produce hormones.
So mouthbreather, try giving over half of your countrymen a little less contempt.
All right, I’m back from lunch now. Why is it hard for overweight people to lose weight? Why is it moreso for people who are severely overweight?
Some are fat and lazy. But they seem to represent the minority in this question.
Well, part of the reason is just plain ignorance about effective methods of getting in shape. There’s a lot of crap floating around out there.
Based on the people I’ve talked to, there’s a notion that health clubs are only for the fit. This is balderdash, but it seems to be widespread.
People who are severely overweight have problems doing cardiovascular/aerobic exercise because of the strain it puts on their knees. Swimming is a good option for them, but for some reason, this doesn’t seem to be widely known.
Also, a lot of these people have bad eating habits. Changing your eating habits is very hard to do.
Finally, there are hormonal complications. Insulin, leptin, and (IIRC) ghrelin have all been implicated in making it harder for overweight people to feel sated. Do a google for more info.
I am what would probably be considered overweight (5’11", 200ish pounds). And Biggirl is almost certainly correct, a lot of people (who knows maybe even me) me have some medical condition.
-HOWEVER-
It sure as hell doesn’t help perceptions though when you see a 250+ lb 5’5" lady loading up with deep fried goodies at the buffet. And I see that quite a bit… not as much up here but when I used to go stateside a lot… oofta.
Biggirl –
And you can link to every study that you want to. I’m sure many of them have legit points, and I am well aware that many people have more to overcome with nature than others do when it comes to losign weight. BUT – If everyone in this country ate better – cut out the fast food, cut out a large protion of the fatty foods they eat, ate a 5 small meals a day instead of 2 or 3 big meals a day, and got some good exercise 3 or 4 times a week, I’d imagine that we wouldn’t have a reason to conduct all these studies to look for reasons why we are fat. But I’m sure everyone will chime in as to why they can’t do these things, so what’s the point, right?
bernse, how dare you look at the buffet woman and think that? I’m sure she has a very valid reason as to why she’s overweight that has nothing to do with her diet or her lack of exercise. cough
Mouthbreather, the content of your posts is not so objectionable as your sneering, contemptuous tone. Obesity is a health issue, not a mark of inferiority, laziness, of spiritual degradation, as you seem to think. Sure, it would be great if more Americans exercised regularly, ate less processed food, and took care of their bodies, but your attitude that people who don’t do these things are somehow lacking is really disgusting.
I work out regularly, eat right, minimize my alcohol intake, and don’t smoke. I’m in excellent shape. But I don’t view that as license to look down on people who aren’t as fit. Like Scylla], I’m always happy to help out people, like my bf, who are trying to change their habits. But I got just as much love for my hefty friends as for the fit.
It’s a health issue, not a morality issue.
I have no doubts that there are fat gluttons. Just as I have no doubt that there are skinny gluttons. I also believe that the fat gluttons out number the skinny gluttons. The question I’ve gotta ask is: does your perception change when you see skinny people heaping on the fried goodies? Do you eat fried goodies? If you eat fried goodies in public are you damaging someone’s perception? If she was 6’1" and 115lbs would it have helped perceptions?
Why is someone’s weight the cause of all this animosity and contempt? Fat people get laughed at, discriminated against, pointed at and ridiculed-- for what? It’s nobody’s problem but the person with the weight problem. Why in the fuck do so many people care if I have a Big Mac and fries out in public? Am I stealing other people’s food? Blocking the sun with my tremendous girth? Killing all the starving children in Africa?
I’m not sexually attractive to many men so therefore my worth as a human is suspect and given to me according to how many fried goodies I eat at a buffet? Waitaminit. Hold up.
With more than half of Americans overweight you’d think that this contempt with subside. But no. There is always someone whose a little fatter. They are the lazy gluttons. The ones who make us all look bad. Or maybe you are the fattest one. The one people laugh at. Like our friend Rex who is so full of self-contempt that it would be sad if he wasn’t such a dick.
I don’t think I’ll post again in this thread. This shit gets me angry all out of porportion to what it’s worth.
mouthbreather, I recommend reading the thread before you open your ignorant yap.
We made it very clear that that wasn’t what we were upset with him over.
If you want to play “let’s pretend”, kindly take it somewhere else. Game threads are in MPSIMS.
I don’t give a shit what someones percives of me. They are of course open to their own thoughts… at least for now. 
And yes, I eat the rare item that is deep fried) but not very much. I sure as heck don’t load up my plate with only egg rolls, chicken balls, boneless deep fried ribs. I may have a few, but not much because (ta-dah) I have a bit of a gut and I try to pay a bit of attention to what I eat.
HOWEVER [sub] once again[/sub]
When you see a very overweight person sweating when they walk back to their table and sweating when they eat (and no, its not hot out) you just know that poor person ain’t healthy and it might be a good idea to have some veggies instead of that plate of deep fried shrimp. mmmm’kay?
Do I think any “less” of them? No. Hell, I don’t even know them. Would I sit at my table and say things to them about cutting down their fat intake? No. They are adults and can do whatever they want.
Do I think inside “Man, that person doesn’t look very healthy. I think it would be better for them to eat a little more carefully.” Maybe.
If it is a skinny person walking back with a tray-o-fat, do I think the same thing? No, not to the same extent anyhow… but then again, they aren’t sweating while they eat or have to push the table behind them out of the way so they can get their chair back far enough to sit into it. Maybe I would think the same thing if the “skinny” person had a flashing neon sign that blinked “I have a high cholesterol problem and chances are I’ll have a heart attack in 2 years” but they don’t have a body “feature” that draws attention to themselves.
[sub]Does that even make any sense or am I just rambling again?[/sub]
Well, maybe I’m not communicating my point very well. I do not have contempt for fat people. Honestly. But, I do have contempt for fat people who want to bellyache about and not change their habits. Much like the smoker who wants to complain about his cough. I just don’t feel sorry for them.
It’s my impression that fat people are in a very small protected class around here. Everyone goes rushing to their defense of hurt feelings, with studies,excuses, etc… Which is not bad when someone needs a kind word or encouragement, but I wonder if isn’t just so much coddling and reinforcement that “it’s ok to be overweight even though you hate it”. Am I an asshole for saying that it isn’t ok? (Setting myself up for the inevitable “No, you’re an asshole because…” ) I firmly believe that if you are unhappy being overweight that you (in the majority of cases) can and should do something about it. If you’re not going to do anything about it, then shut your fucking mouth. Am I an asshole in this regard? Maybe. Apologetic for it? Not one bit.
Now, if you are overweight and have a good self image, more power to you, and kudos for being big enough (pun not intended, believe it or not) to see through other people’s petty bullshit. I have no ill will for these people at all.
And herein lies the problem. Do you honestly believe that no one who’s overweight is either currently trying to do something about it, or has tried to do something about it in the past and failed?
Think about this for a minute. The generally agreed-upon healthy rate of weight loss is 2 lbs/week, and only the luckiest of the metabolically blessed actually sustain that sort of loss consistently over the span of their weight loss attempt. But, for the sake of argument, let’s assume that the overweight person can manage this rate of loss.
So, for someone who is 100 lbs overweight, if they’re lucky, it will take them 50 weeks to get down to an “acceptable” weight. That’s almost a year. And for that entire year, regardless of the fact that they’re “doing something about it”, they will still be viewed by the majority of the population as some morally deficient loser because their weight isn’t under control. Every time they eat in public, they risk some jackass who thinks that his genetics make him/her somehow morally superior scrutinizing what that fat person eats and making judgements about their character and worth.
I read on this board just a few days ago about a woman who was eating at a buffet and some stupid fucks came over and said “Do you really think you should be here?” and ran off, snickering. As if fat people should just quit eating altogether until they’re a more socially acceptable size…or even better, not even leave the house.
The point of this thread is not that you should find overweight people attractive. You don’t have to, it’s not required. You don’t even have to explain to us why you don’t, because trust us…we know. The only point that anyone here is trying to make is that what people choose to do about their weight is their business, and their business alone. Comments made to people about what they eat, or what activities they choose to engage in, or judgements made on their appearance when you have no clue what any particular person’s history is like is not only madness, it’s outright rude. And when we’re treated rudely based on something that may or may not be under our control (or maybe something we are in the midst of and effort to control) and we decide to rant about it, we’d prefer not to be called whiny babies and that we should shut our fucking mouths.
That’s all.