My glorious life as a fat person!

The BBQ Pit
161

Let me get this straight. Do you seriously think that all the “bellyaching” on this thread is about how fat we are, and nothing more? Sure, we’ve complained about our weight a little, but that’s not really what this has been about. The “bellyaching” has been about how other people treat us like SHIT for being fat. That’s what the OP has been about. The crappy way other people treat us is our main gripe. Get that through your skull.

Do you think that we seriously must “do something about” how other people treat us? Do you think that it is our obligation to get skinny, so that we will no longer be targets of cruel assholes? Do you seriously think that it’s all OUR FAULT that people treat us like shit? For doing…what, exactly? Breathing oxygen while fat? Are we deserving of cruel treatment for merely being seen in public? So whatever we get, we deserve, because we have the nerve to step oustide? And because we won’t “do anything about it” we need to “shut the fuck up” about how shitheads go out of their way to treat us cruelly while we are minding our own business?

Do you think that maybe, just perhaps, the obligation lies with the people who treat us like SHIT? Do you think that maybe they could learn to “do something about it” and stop behaving like shitheads?

Oh, no maybe. Yes.

162

::gives yosemitebabe a standing ovation::

163

"Do you think that maybe, just perhaps, the obligation lies with the people who treat us like SHIT? Do you think that maybe they could learn to “do something about it” and stop behaving like shitheads? "

Maybe they could. In a perfect world, they would. But, as it stands, you have no control over what they do. You, in all likelyhood, can lose weight if what they do bothers you that much. It’s that simple.

You have a few choices:

  1. Do nothing, and continue to have hurt feelings all the time(IMO very silly)
  2. Do nothing, and not let the assholes bother you.
  3. Lose weight.

Ah, fuck choices, Let’s just all sit here and hope that the meanies start being nice. That should work.

164

Or how about this:

  1. Attempt to eradicate the ignorant viewpoints that overweight = moral failure and overweight = deserving of scorn and ridicule.

I’m beginning to think that you’re an irredeemable asshole.

165

I’ll sleep just fine tonight knowing that you thinking that.

166

God, either you are just purposely instigating an argument or you really are a blithering idiot.

Every, I repeat, every, fat person posting here

  1. knows it’s a problem
  2. has tried to lose the weight
  3. are still fat

So what are their options, to just endure the insults while they work to burn off the excess bodyfat? The overweight posters are not just “doing nothing” and complaining; they are trying to get fit while having to endure the gibes and cruel remarks of creatures like you. Who the hell gave you the right to sit in judgement of other people’s dietary habits?

No wlookahere, skippy, I’ll break it down for you; some people cannot get thin–some people inherit fat genes that make it difficult to metabolize food; others have physical problems that prohibit exercise. I’m all in favor for people being fit and takig care of themselves, but I’ll be damned if I can see how routine humiliation is supposed to further that goal.

Putz! (I’m not using the smiley 'cos I ain’t smiling.)

167

"skippy, I’ll break it down for you; some people cannot get thin–some people inherit fat genes that make it difficult to metabolize food; others have physical problems that prohibit exercise. "

Well, sport, it seems to me that I have made exceptions in my points for people who have medical conditions.

Also, mind pointing out to me those gibes and cruel remarks I have made?

168

I know I was supposed to drop dead, but I just haven’t yet.
There have been some fabulous points made by many people here, some were recognized and some weren’t.
It is a very sensitive subject because of the pain so many have dealth with because of this and the misunderstanding by so many others.
In my past, I have had someone ask me if I even know what it is like to diet. Looking back I know that was meant as a compliment but it made me feel like shit cause I make an effort daily to keep the weight off and I feel that effort is not recognized. So? so nothing cause I will still do for myself as I think is best.
At least half my family is over the 300 pound point and no one is over 6’ so I see overweight adults in different stages of their lives.

The hardships someone already dicussed in this thread about the braces, is the kind of fear I have always lived with. The older you get the harder it is to deal with physically.
I beleive there were a few more comments about the fat thighs rubbing while walking or the secrecy of the scale.
I see this as sad. This is not to say people who are fat are wrong or less of people.
The ironic part is that it is okay for fat people to talk of the pains of being fat. When someone else says it is hard for them to see, it is taken as a condemnation. It isn’t. And it is hard for people to see the person sweating over nothing cause they are out of shape regardless of the weight I have sympathy for that.
The person loading up on greasy food in public is not better if they are not obese, they are still not eating healthy and that is bad for your body.
I think someone said that most of these comments on this thread are complaints about how fat people are treated. I disagree. I see a lot of disagreeing with Rex, and a lot of talking of diet, and some of the angst of being overweight.
Most of the comments are not about how society doesn’t accept fat people. There were even quite a few comments of thanks for the support amongst the people who understand the plight of the fat.
oh and lots of anger and upset

169

The implication that it’s OK to ridicule of a fat person if it’s a matter of choice but not OK if it’s a matter of biology?

A lot of the comments here support my theory that the derision of the overweight is one of the last acceptable prejudices. Movies like The Nutty Professor (Eddie Murphy version), The Klumps, and, most recently, Shallow Hal show us that laughing at fat is still apparently funny.

I suggest that we can start laughing at all the disabled who are victims of avoidable accidents. Maybe jokes about alcoholics will be funny too. There’s a whole range of victims that could be funny if we’re just careful to filter out those that are the pure victims if biology.

170

Reread Biggirl’s posts. seh did a good job on p. 3.

171

As my mom used to tell me when I complained about being picked on - “If he was the only asshole in the world, I would do something about it. But you are going to spend a lot of your life dealing with assholes, so you might as well start now.” (yes, my mom has a potty mouth ;)).

The point that I think mouthbreather is trying to make (although I agree its possible to do so in a much less contentious manner), is that you are aiding and abetting the assholes by allowing them to make you feel bad with their comments. Yes, they are jerks, but as Eleanor Roosevelt said “No one can make you feel bad without your permission.”

We can also attempt to dig a tunnel to china with a teaspoon. Eventually you just have to learn to accept some facts of reality. People are jerks. They insult other people for no good reason - you can’t control that. You can control how you feel about it.

To me this isn’t even about obesity. I would have the same response to anyone complaining about any form of teasing/ridicule. Of course there is a huge difference between comments by dumb frat boys and marital problems that may be influenced by obesity, but I think the latter is more of an individual problem than one with society. As evidenced by the response to this thread, many overweight people enjoy happy marraiges.

172

mouthbreather, so let me see if understand what you’re saying. People who are overweight and want to discuss how badly they are treated should instead just shut up, because they have the ability to avoid the unpleasantness of being treated badly by either losing weight or just ignoring constant, random ridicule.

Now, you felt the need to share this incredibly helpful and sensitive viewpoint because you found reading the thread to be unpleasant, knowing as you do that they could be doing something to fix the situation instead of just talking about it. If only you yourself had similar control over avoiding the irritation (reading threads where other people complain about something) that plagues you…

Then maybe you wouldn’t be such a fucking asshole.

173

Christ, what a prick.

174

So now we’re required to be helpful and sensitive? I must’ve missed that memo. Also, I haven’t found reading this thread to be unpleasant at all. But, nice try.

Go ahead and call me names until you rub your cute little fingers raw on your keyboard. Enjoy. :slight_smile:

(and on preview, now that the board is running at a normal speed), Cervasie, that was only in respnse to being called “skippy”.

175

See, if you’re gonna post messages complaining about how other people shouldn’t be posting messages…

Oh forget it. Continue your enlightened work, fighting the scourge of Overweight Whiners.

176

Again, I keep coming back to the same idea that has been bugging me throughout this thread.
A couple of posters have said that they or loved ones are “naturally thin”, or do nothing to stay small, or whatever.
No one seems to refute this. I don’t see anyone claiming that these people MUST be eating much much less than they’re aware of, or exercising without their knowledge (what-are they sleep marathoners?)
However, I do see one ignorant person after another saying
something along the lines of “Heh heh, I’m SO sure people can’t help being fat. They’re just lazy, no two ways about it.”
:confused:
Christ on a cracker, I don’t get it.
Does it not go both ways?
Is one’s physiological makeup ALL genetic or ALL behavioral?
I seriously fuckin doubt it.
Honestly, yes, I do think that most everyone who’s overweight can diet and exercise to lose a portion of it. Is there a “fat gene”"
Maybe. Maybe not. AFAIK, the jury’s still out.
However, if those in question honestly believe they’ve got all the answers to weight gain, loss, distribution etc., kindly stop fucking around on a message board and contact the medical authorities, because somehow your brilliance outshines years and years of research, data, testing, etc.
Schmucks!
:rolleyes:

177

Well, no one asked you to feel sorry for anyone. But in any case, I’m guessing, from your absolute certainty about other people’s reality, that you are a research physician specializing in obesity?

Because if you aren’t, then you have no fucking idea what you’re talking about.

New things are being learned every single day about the nature and causes of obesity, as well as the cures. And persons who are truly educated in this subject will tell you: it is NOT merely calories in, calories out, and EVEN IF it were that simple, there are many * other * factors which have a profound effect on each person’s ability to permanently control the calories in and calories out. And I do not refer exclusively to mental and emotional issues, since the latest research is pointing to genetically determined physical factors that change the way different people experience hunger and satiety.

So you can choose to feel or not feel sorry for whomever you like, but it would be so delightful if you would stop deluding yourself into believing that you know what the hell you’re talking about. And it would be even better if you’d stop claiming you do not have contempt for fat people. I don’t believe you. I’ve done too many of these threads with you to believe you.

stoid

PS: Excellent points, ** sidle! **

178

See, there’s a reasoning problem here.

OP: I don’t like the way people treat me b/c I’m fat.
Poster A: People are assholes. If you don’t like being fat, then lost weight! Duh!

OP: I don’t like the way I’m characterized b/c I’m blonde.
Poster A: People are assholes. If you don’t like being blonde, then dye your hair! Duh!

OP: I don’t like the way people act like I’m a soccer mom or a bad driver just b/c I love driving my SUV.
Poster A: Well, that’s how people are… if you don’t like it, maybe you should have bought a sedan instead! Duh!

This line of thinking presupposes that people should change and that prejudice is fixed. I disagree. The line of thought should start with breaking down prejudice, and accepting people as they are. This sort of thing doesn’t exist solely in terms of weight (which can be conveniently classified as a health issue rather than stereotype) but other things as well.

<slight technical hijack>

I’m a psych student and, according to Seligman and his learned helplessness research, people who have become emotionally helpless (through one reason or another) rationalize this by beliving that the world is fixed and that there is nothing they can do about it. This isn’t necessarily a “victim” sort of thing, but it is a solid viewpoint that the world is unchangeable. This is part of the definition of helplessness. If the world is unchangeable, that means all change must come from within. While there are plenty of helpful philosophies concerning self-improvement, this isn’t it. Rex is a perfect example. His “scientific” proof to the unattractiveness of women follows that he thinks of the world as completely static, and also his rejection of the idea that “college girls” will ever find him attractive. Men will never find a 200lb person attractive- the world is absolute and unchangeable. Thin girls don’t find fat old me attractive- the world is absolute and unchangeable. etc. etc. The fact that he’s pushed his sexuality to the background means that he is changing himself to conform to his assumptions.

My point? Just that- people who change themselves to conform to assumptions about a static world are the first ones to tell others to do the same. When these posts come up, I wish we could chalk them up to this flawed reasoning and abstain from working ourselves up about them… we’re never going to change the way they think.

</hijack>

If anyone sees glaring errors with the above, well, I’m only a junior. I can try to find online sites/cites for it, but people will learn a lot more by reading the book “Learned Helplessness” by Seligman.

My point? Reason doesn’t work with this sort of thing. We’d probably be best served by just ignoring it.

179

I think you’re slightly missing the nuances of what gobear was saying. A lot more people have that kind of “medical condition” than you might think. It goes down, on some levels, to what you inheret.

Case in point: my sister and I. As children, we partook of the same diet and portions. We were raised by the same parents, and our economic status remained constant throughout this time. Yet, at the age of four, I started gaining weight. At the age of four, she did not.

Today, if I were to eat what she eats on a regular basis, I would be gaining weight like crazy. We have the same level of physical activity (actually, I’m probably a bit more physically active than she is). Why is it that she can eat more than I can without gaining weight?

I’ve struggled to acheive and maintain a healthy weight my entire life. She’s never had to do so. It got to the point where I started to overeat (my mother noticed this, so it isn’t wishful thinking) simply because I was constantly on a diet and everyone thought I was being a pig anyway (this was around age 11). Even now, in order to maintain our weights, she has to eat tons of crap, and I have to count calories. That unfairness is, I believe, what gobear meant. In order to be thin, someone like me has to work 10 times harder than someone like my sister. It’s incredibly frustrating to be eating the plain-no-mayo-or-cheese-turkey-sandwich when your thin dining companion is eating smothered cheese fries and fried cheese sticks as her dinner. It’s a matter of metabolism. Mine is incredibly slow. My sister’s is fast.

I’m not skinny even now. I’m also not obese. There are a lot of people who are heavier than I am. I don’t judge them because of it. They know they’re fat; they’ve probably tried to become thin. Very few people want to be fat. Who would with the crap society places upon it? Some peoples’ odds, however, are stacked against them, and to expect them to surmount them is sometimes to expect them to forsake everything else (normalcy, energy, time, one’s social life) for the sake of being thin. Excuse the person for not wanting to wreck his life in order to lose a few pounds.

180

I watched Rikki Lake the other day (bear in mind I’m in New Zealand so the episode is likely to be a year old at least!). The topic was “Im big but I could be a super model” (or similar…its not like I write these things down!!)…out on the stage came a series of very large women who stood and announced all the reasons they should be models. These women were gorgeous, confident and had personality to burn.
I am 5’3 and about 125 lbs and feel FAT and UGLY everyday. I would swap with any one of those 200 plus women who had the confidence and POWER and faith in themselves to stand up and say “I’m fine… I’m gorgeous, I should be a model” anyday!!
I’m not for a moment suggesting for a moment that seriously obese people don’t suffer prejudice on a daily basis, but I do believe that much of a presons “attractiveness” starts with their head and with their self belief. If you think you are “all that” then you will be proved right…same token if you believe you are not …then no… you just don’t have it