My mom has died

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
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My dear friends,

My mother has passed away tonight. I got the call about an hour ago. The kids are sleeping and I really dont know whaaat I am doing. I threw up.

Mom went into palliative care Sunday morning, and tonight, Monday night she is gone.

My aunt Peggy was with her, my brother had left an hour or two before, my stepdad was on his way. I was with her today, but she didnt know. she didnt know me. she thought my brother was my uncle Mark yesterday, she was agitated and afraid. She didnt know me at all. She wanted her parents… The nurses drugged her heavily so she wasnt so freaked out, and she wasnt in any pain, she never came fully concious again. By this morning she was having more trouble breathing, and she would open her eyes sometimes, but she didnt see us.

Today is October 22, three months ago today she turned 52, we had cake, she blew out the candles, she held her grandchildren. Yesterday her brain was so rotted she tried to drink her kleenex. I am glad she is not suffering but I miss her already, how will i ever manage without her?

I went in to see her this morning, desperately hoping that she would have a lucid moment, maybe smile at me, or reach for me, I wanted a hug so badly, but she never liked to be touched. Cheated i am. i am broken.

I dont know what I supposed to do now. Its after midnight, i think i will take a xanax and go to bed i guess.
Its strangely anti-climatic.
I jusst wanted to tell you all how much your support has meant to me over the last two years, especially recently when the kind words you wrote freed me from crippling guilt.

The next days might be a bit crazy, or not, i just dont know, so if you dont see me for a while, dont panic.

She was the best person I ever knew, and i cant beleive she is gone. and tomorrow I get to tell my kids. Poor Frankie, he loves her so much, and Ted will try to be a man about it. I think I might be sick again.

bye for now, thanks again guys for all the caring and support, I cant tell you what it has meant.

Kelli

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{{Kelli}},

I'm so sorry for you. I wish anything I said could

make things better. I’ll keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

-K

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Wellwishes and prayers of the entire drillrod clan are with you.
So sorry for your loss.
((((((kellibelli))))))

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{{{{{{kelli}}}}}

My thoughts are with you.

5

( I’m so sorry kellibelli. :frowning:

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{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Kelli}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Robin

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Kelli, I know these words don’t really help but I am so sorry. Please know we will be keeping you in our thoughts and prayers.

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{{{{{Kelli}}}}}

I’m so sorry. I know how hard it is to lose a parent. When my father died it took a little while for it to seem real. I’d be fine and then it would hit me all over again. It hurts, and there’s not much you can do but go through it.

9

Kelli,

I’m sorry for your loss, but please take comfort in knowing that your mom’s suffering is over and she is at peace. Her being gone will hurt for awhile but it will get better. The bad falls away and you and your family will be left with the good memories.

My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Sal

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I’m so, so sorry. :frowning:

Please take good care of yourself.

11

Aw, kelli.

I’m so sorry for your loss.

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:frowning: Oh, hon… I am so sorry for your loss. I’m glad for her sake as well, as she is no longer suffering. We’re here for you, anytime you need us. I didn’t cry till after Mom died, then I couldn’t stop crying for the longest time, it seemed.

{{{{{{kelli}}}}}}
{{{{{{kelli’s kids}}}}}}

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I’m just sorry that I don’t have anything better to say.

All my best to you and yours, sweetie.

:frowning:

14

You are on a road I have never travelled, so my words are probably inedequate. Many people will tell you it’s ok to cry, and they’re right. But never forget, one day not so far away, it will be ok to smile again too. That’s what your mother would have wanted. I guess what I’m trying to say is you will grieve in your own way, and you’ll find the path through this that is the right one for you.

My thoughts are with you kelli. Hang in there. Your SDMB family is here too, whenever you may need us.

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{{{{{Kelli}}}}}

…there are no words, only prayers and hope and best wishes.

-Scott

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Oh Kelli. I am so very, very sorry. I could not feel worse for you or hurt more hearing that sad news. I’m so sorry for your loss. Please feel free to contact me if you want to talk- suzette100@yahoo.com

Suzette

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Kelli, I’m so very sorry for your loss. May you find the strength to get through these next few days and may the sun shine again for you. My heart goes out to you and your family.

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Best wishes to you and your family.

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Oh Jesus. (and that’s a prayer).

{{{{{ Kelli }}}}}

You are on what is probably one of the most difficult roads anybody EVER has to travel. Somebody somewhere once wrote that losing your mother is scary because it moves you up one rung on the ladder. Suddenly you’re not “someone’s kid” anymore, suddenly you really are a grownup.

Someone else also said that the most difficult thing is to lose the people who knew you when you were a child, because that, too, moves you up the ladder.

I am fortunate enough to still have my mother, but I remember when her mother died, my grandma. Mother grieved as much for the loss as though she had been 6 years old, not 60.

You will be in my thoughts (and prayers) this week.

If it helps you get through it, your kids are watching you to see how you handle this, to learn from you how to handle death. I learned a lot from watching my mother go through this with all my grandparents.

Is organ donation a possibility? That would be a Good Thing to consider, IMO.

And one other thing to remember: it’s important to go through the ceremonies that our culture dictates, the wake, if you have one, the funeral, the various sorts of things. I know it’ll be the last thing you want to do, is put on the navy blue dress and go stand around the funeral home for three hours on–Wednesday? Friday? But it’s important for the community, for the people who know you and your mom, to be able to come up to you and express their sympathy to you, so don’t deny them their participation in this communal rite of passage.

And all you have to say, when they say, “I’m so sorry”, is, “Thank you. You’re very kind.” Just that–“Thank you. You’re very kind.” You don’t have to make a speech about how, “well, we’re glad that blah blah blah…”

Just smile a little and say, “Thank you. You’re very kind.”

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::holds Kelli hand::