kelli, my heart goes out to you. I lost my mom to pancreatic cancer in '97. She was also 52. It was awful and hard and I still miss her every day and I wish that no one would ever have to go through something like that. But it has gotten easier, I can think of her without tears sometimes and I honestly feel that I am a better, stronger person and that I learned a lot about myself and my family in going through it.
I’m sure that’s not much consolation right now…but please know that I and so many others here at the SDMB will be thinking about you and sending our strength and comfort your way. We’ve never talked but if you are ever looking for someone to commiserate with, I would gladly be there.
Kel, I am so sorry about your mom. Don’t worry about being to strong for your kids. It is my personal belief that kids need to see our human side to help them understand life in its fullest.
I know it was a long, tough battle, kelli. Even though she’s no longer suffering, I know it doesn’t make the loss any easier. I have you and your sons in my thoughts.
My thoughts are with you. I know how tough a time this is. Just remember to be forgiving. Of yourself for feeling relief. Of your friends for trite phrases, because they know nothing they say can make you feel better, but have to say something. Of your family when a bright moment evokes laughter. Laughter is not a bad thing even at a moment like this. Remember your mother in happy times and smile. The pain doesn’t go away, but it does become bearable.
I’m not very religious, and you’re probably not Jewish,
but just know that I will be saying a Mourners Kaddish for your mother this evening. I know it doesn’t make much sense, but its always been oddly comforting to me.
This heals all wounds. As someone who has dealt with a similar situation to you (my sister died), smiling, remembering the good times, and celebrating life is the most joyous outcome she could have ever wanted for you. Let her memory know that even though you miss her terribly that you will still be able to go out and love some more as a relatively sane person. I am sure your mother believed that your happiness was paramount to her existence. Since parents tend to try to live vicariously through their children.
Oh, Kelli, I’m struggling to find words to type to make you feel better, but I’m not having much luck.
I lost my aunt last year, which was so difficult, and I can’t imagine how I would feel if my mother died. It’s the thing of nightmares, and I’m so terribly sad that you are going through this right now.
If you want to talk, please e-mail me. I’ll be glad to listen.
Kels, we talked before about our mom’s and their cancers and how scary death is. I’m so sorry for your loss and with mixed feelings bless that your mom is out of her pain. I continue to mourn as my sister now is dying of the same cancer mom did.
Many prayers coming your way. You have my number, if you need to talk, please use it.
Sue
As someone who has dealt with a similar situation to you (my sister died), smiling, remembering the good times, and celebrating life is the most joyous outcome she could have ever wanted for you. Let her memory know that even though you miss her terribly that you will still be able to go out and love some more as a relatively sane person. I am sure your mother believed that your happiness was paramount to her existence. Since parents tend to try to live vicariously through their children.