I am among the group that was forced into that little meetting with the guidance counselor about this cutting stuff, and I was the only one of us who was super-upset that has never cut themselves. Hmmm, this made it even harder for me today. It made me feel that my job as a friend was failing. I’m much better now though. Sheesh, I hate being in that room. The last time I was there was because some teacher had referred me to them because of the stress I was under. [Come to think of it, I suspect it may have been the JV volleyball coach b/c around the same time I had this conversation with the varsity coach about how stressed out and upset I was about things. Arrrgh, damned people making me do things I don’t want to do.]
Welfy, I hope you get treatment and get over this thing. It’s never good to do self-destructive things.
I never knew I was in such good company. ::weak smilie:: Shit, I’ve never told anybody except you people about the head banging, including my therapist. You make me feel like a teenager again! A teenage girl, but it’s a start.
For me it was both as self-punishment and because I could feel pain. When you’re not feeling much else it’s nice to have the reassurance that you are still alive.
Please don’t be like me. It took me until I was in my FORTIES before I got the help I needed as a child. I was miserable FOR DECADES! Don’t do that. They can help you if you let them. Even the dopey PE teachers. And especially your parents.
:hijack:
And Cygnus, I can’t think of a single Miles O’Keefe movie except Tarzan, with Bo Derek. Are there others?
:/hijack:
I feel like i walked into the wrong room here. I confess ignorance of cutting and its associated stuff. But i can see how it could arise in my own psych. I get trapped in memories of embarassing events or stupid stuff i have done. That is one of my greatest weaknesses, a fear of social rejection (imho). If i find myself dredging up these memories i have this mantra of self loathing that i chant. And i need to hurt myself in some minor way to shake myself out of it, and as retribution for the particular event. It leads me to seek states of nothing- when my concentration is totally focused and i dont have time to mull over my memories. Mostly i play too many computer games, and listen to lots of music. Dont like silence and boredom.
I have decided to beat this in my own head, as i think my psychology is something i should control. It kind of works. Being aware of the thought processes that lead to this kind of behaviour is that path to freedom i choose.
Thats a little set of my psychological screwups. If i felt that cutting would alleviate this i probably would, but i feel i owe too much to the people around me to injure myself visibly. I do like collecting scars though.
Sorry for the self focus, this is a little section of my faulty self analysis. I am trying to empathise.
May you all find peace of mind.
Same shit, diffrent shape (in my humble opinion).
It doesnt really matter if you head-bang, cut, scratch, burn, throw up, or break bones - it is all the same thing.
And everybody who does it should be offered help.
It is hard to take it, but worth it.
No more explaining bruises, wounds and scars on all the wrong places (how the hell did the cat get to hurt you on the inside of your left underarm?/your throat?)
dodgy
Welfy, I love you. I don’t want to see you causing harm to yourself! You might want to just step back a moment and look at what you are doing. Does it accomplish anything good? And is it harmful to yourself or others? You could give yourself a bad infection by doing this.
But remember, we are here for you. Maybe you should just switch your addiction from cutting yourself to loving me? Studies show, I am more addicting than speed and harder to quit than heroin. Love is like that.
You know my email and my AIM. If you wanna talk more on it, don’t hesitate.
Working in a jail you can imagine some of the problems that can come up.
All jail staff are given basic training because there is no knowing which memeber of staff will be the first to notice or the first to be approached.
Usually one is tested by the person concerned before contact is made, but since you never know who or what their rules are you have to be alert.
It’s fair to say that those who you tend to respect as people get approached the most.
I know it is very difficult to make that first contact, you may feel like you are going to be humiliated or maybe you feel bad about yourself, or feel nothing at all.
I have found that the direct manner is best, when I suspect an inmate is cutting I will get them in a quieter moment and simply ask, I then ask them what they think I should do about it.This gives them control over their own lives, things can be taken out of their hands and they feel manipulated.
Preaching about the harm caused just makes the person feel even worse, being positive and acting normally is the best way.
Cutting is something that you feel is your secret, its the power you have and it is exclusively in your control.It is often about isolation in a crowd and wanting to be differant.
I have seen other manifestations of this where a person will play a scenario in the head just to make themselves feel bad, like imagining cancer or imagining an abusive childhood and beating themselves up over it.Even feeling sad and depressed can seem better than not feeling anything.
There used to be a differant attitude to this, someone only wants to draw attention to themselves - ignore it and when they see it does not work then they will stop - now we know this is wrong and we can help.
There are some insensitive people about but there are many more who are not , your parents may feel guilty as they will think they are partly respopnsible, they need your reassurance and once you have built up more trust between you maybe you will better within yourself.
Your parents need to get over any qualms they have about putting you in a hospital or getting you help. I don’t know much about this kind of thing, but cutting yourself is indicative of some kind of problem. You need help, and I mean that in the nicest possible way.
Would you mind going to a psych ward? I was in one thirteen years ago for depression, and it was a wonderful place, full of kind therapists, and other patients who had problems also and were kind and willing to help each other.
Cutting is a very serious problem, and you need to get this and what underlies it taken care of.
A few days ago, much to my dismay, Mom made me an appointment with a psychiatrist in town. I was mad that she did this without my permission. She wants to take me out of school early for it, too. Maybe I’ll hide in the bathroom or something, because I really don’t want to go. It’s a MAN at that. Nothing against men (I love men!) but I feel that a guy couldn’t possibly understand me very well (especially my homicidal tendencies when I have PMS). I think he’s just going to ask me questions to evaluate me.
I don’t know what I’ll tell him, because I have some minor problems (well, at least I consider them minor). For instance, last night as soon as I fell into bed, I heard a man’s voice talking for no good reason. My body went into a spasm, and then I heard a couple more voices. At first I thought it was my Zoloft causing me to do this, but I haven’t taken it for at least a week, so I don’t know where the spasms are coming from.
Dougy, you know I love you. :^) Why don’t you come visit? I just won’t tell Ray.
Spidey, I don’t know if Mom wants me to go to a Psych ward. She’s convinced it would drive me nuts.
Reading the newer posts, I’m shocked that so many people have been either cutting or still cut. I didn’t know it was such a common problem. Big hugs for all of you, whether you are a cutter yourself, a head-banger, or friends with someone who cuts.
As you can see, this is not so rare that there is no treatment available(and I don’t mean drugs either)
The psychiatrist will not hurt you or embarrass you but you can trust him completely.
If you tell him not to pass your personal issues on to your parent he will not do so, in fact he will not unless you give consent.
It may be difficult to take that first step you have nothing to lose and everything to gain, you don’t have to talk to him, you can simply sit there and listen, you will not be dragged away screaming to the local institution nor will your life be broadcast to the world.
Your life will still be your own and you will still be in control, but maybe you will be provided with some tools you can usefully employ.
Kid, see the shrink. Mine was a woman and I thought she wouldn’t be able to understand my guy problems, but she did. That’s their training and experience–their job. They get into that business because they want to help people but they can’t help you UNLESS THEY EVALUATE YOU! It’s part of the process.
Welfy, hon, please PLEASE go. Ypu’ve made the 1st important step- reaching out here and admitting that you have a problem. That’s great! Now keep going. I understand your feelings regarding the sex of the counselor. This is quite natural. FWIW, the best counselor I ever had was a woman, so different sexes does not necessaceraly mean no common ground. Your frist session will be more of a question and answer type thing, no big deal really. Remember, the man is a trained professional, so HE knows how to approach you on your level, in spite of your fears. One other thing is important-YOU need to evaluate him at the same time he’s evaluating you. IF, after meeting him, you just don’t think establishing a good rapore is possible- find someone else. Counselors are like bras, sometimes you gotta try a few on before you find one that fits and is comfortable. Be up front and honest with your mother if this is the case-“Mom, I’m willing to see someone, but not him. Let’s find someone else”. And please keep us posted here, lots of us are concerned about you.
Welfy, you are one of only four people allowed to call me Dougy. You are very privledgeed. Now you can see how much I love you:)
I think you should go see the psychiatrist. What harm will come to you? You will have to come out of the bathroom sometime, and your mom will not be very happy with you. Best to humour her for one visit, and see how it pans out.
If all else fails, click on the link to my pic in my .sig and look at one of the people you are glad that you are not!
I was kinda depressed over something that happened this week and I got bored and cut my ankle during math class. Apparently some of my friends were “worried about me” and went to the guidance counselor. So I get called in today and interrogated. What’s really funny is that she missed a pretty obvious one on my wrist. And another thing that kind of annoys me is that some of my other friends are assumed guilty by association. So they flip out on people who don’t even do it! I swear to god, my school is sooo stupid!
we love you jess honey, and besides, they didnt want you to get worse than you are, since you know that if you keep on doing it, it’s just gonna get worse. I haven’t done anything “bad” for 10 days.
Did they tell your parents? I thought they were required by law to say something, or was it only for the special people like me?
I’ve never been a cutter, but a bit of a head-slapper, and I lived with a cutter. I also twice reached a point where the only thing keeping me from walking into the ocean was the enormous deal that would have been made about it by my family.
What I’ve decided about depression is that it’s caused by real problems, atleast in my case. I mean that there are problems in reality, and not just in your “twisted head” or something.
The biggest thing that can help is to solve those situations that make you so desperate. Please see a counselor who will help you and direct you in solving them. If you need to move, then do it. If you need to quit school, then do it. What would you really, really like to have happen in your life? I think if you kick that around in your head a bit, you’ll find your goal.
Please post how you’re doing, if you’re willing. I’ll try to check back about this.
*** Not getting help is just letting the depression win. ***
Sweetie, please take your Zoloft. Abrupt stoppage can cause a “rebound” effect and all sorts of horrible things. It’s really best if you wean yoursself off of it gradually with advice from your doctor.
Hmmm…I thought it would be nice to update everyone on how I’m doing.
I’ve been seeing a counselor for the past few weeks. A male. I guess he’s okay, but it annoys me that my mom is making me go. It’s good bonding time with her, though, with the car rides to the guy’s house.
I’m still cutting, but not as often. For one, my major weapon of choice is dulling, and two, I’m just too lazy. Isn’t that pathetic, that I’m too lazy to do such a thing? I haven’t done it in quite some time, but I have to tonight. I’ll go nuts if I don’t. I had a few things happen today that made me just want to die (okay, so I don’t want to die, but still), and I feel really restless.
I haven’t taken my Zoloft. About a month ago, I threw them at the wall and told Mom, “Screw this, I’m not taking these anymore!” and they haven’t moved since.
If this counselor doesn’t do it for you, please tell him, and get a referral to someone that he thinks might be a better fit. PLEASE take the drugs that you’re supposed to.
What I’ve discovered is that this takes a lot of work, but what’s very tempting is to decide that it’s too much work. It’s not, and you can get better. I’m betting that your world has shrunk to where any change, even for the “better” seems out of reach, and even unwanted. Please don’t stay trapped there. Do the work - care for yourself enough to start to dislike your current situation enough to work on it. If you started now, how much could you maybe change in a year? A lot, I’ll bet.
Find a counselor you identify with, who will be the en-courag-er and love-er you need to do the work that you need. You do have support, even if it’s from this kind of impersonal board. We want you to move beyond this tiny mental world, where you have to cut, etc.
