My penis is

[Tibby]

Am I the only person in this thread who did not feel the need to embellish my answer? Jeepers, the delusions of grandeur some of you guys harbor… :dubious:

[Superdude]

It ain’t braggin’ if you can back it up.

[anyrose]

@Daithi Lacha

My penis …

 ... is detachable.

:eek: Kinky!

[Unintentionally_Blank]

@Superdude

It ain’t braggin’ if you can back it up.

My Penis is so big it beeps when I back up?

[Glassy]

@Lord Ashtar

[Death to Smoochy]
Randolph: Didn’t she tell you of the love we once had. Passionate yet tender, old-fashioned yet experimental.
Sheldon: Randolph, you have lost your mind.
Randolph: Oh, enlighten the lad, Nora. You were such a hot little brood mare, does the bridle still fit?
Sheldon: Hey, watch your mouth mister!
Nora: What experiments? I’ve had firmer handshakes, ya drunk.
Randolph: Please, it’s small, but it’s fierce!
[/Death to Smoochy]

What the hell is that? I must know.

Anyway. Carry on.

[anyrose]

@Glassy

What the hell is that? I must know.

Anyway. Carry on.

Death To Smoochy starring Robin Williams and Edward Norton

[Superdude]

@Unintentionally Blank

My Penis is so big it beeps when I back up?

For some reason, that reminds me of something that Sarah Silverman said:

Adam Corolla’s penis is really big. I don’t know how big, but Jimmy [Jimmy Kimmell, her boyfriend, and Corolla’s co-host on The Man Show] says it feels like ten inches.

[DfrntBreign]

nowhere near as interesting when drunk as it thinks it is.

[Daithi_Lacha]

@anyrose

:eek: Kinky!

@King Missle

I woke up this morning with a bad hangover and my penis was missing again. This happens all the time; it’s detachable. This comes in handy a lot of the time; I can leave it home when I thnk it’s gonna get me in trouble, or I can rent it out when I don’t need it. But now and then I go to a party, get drunk, and the next morning, I can’t, for the life of me, remember what I did with it. First I looked around my apartment, and I couldn’t find it, so I called up the place hwere the party was, they hadn’t seen it either. I asked them to check the medicine cabinet , 'cause for some reason, I leave it there sometimes, but no this time.
So I told them if it pops up to let me know. I called a few people who were at the party, but they were no help either.
I was starting to get desperate. I really don’t like being without my penis for too long. It makes me feel like less of a man, and I really hate having to sit down every time I take a leak.

lyrics truncated for copywrite issues.

[Hostile_Dialect]

My penis recently made a long-term commitment and is enjoying it greatly.

[JustAnotherGeek]

@Daithi Lacha

lyrics truncated for copywrite issues.

I’ll see your Detachable Penis and raise you an Enormous Penis:

@DaVinci's Notebook

…
I got a sing and a dance when I glance in my pants
And the feeling’s like a sunshiney day
I take a look at my enormous pe-e-e-nis
And everything is goin’ my way
…

[Broken_Wind]

@JustAnotherGeek

I’ll see your Detachable Penis and raise you an Enormous Penis:

I’ll raise your Enormous Penis an… - wait that didn’t come out right.

[racer72]

I fell asleep at a nudist beach once. When I woke up there were a bunch of scouts raising the US flag.

[pbbth]

My penis is bright purple, battery operated, and in the top left drawer of my dresser. Oh, and it comes with 8 different speeds!

I am so glad I am a girl…I would hate to wake up and find a bunch of scouts running a flag up my penis.

[Unintentionally_Blank]

@pbbth

My penis is bright purple, battery operated, and in the top left drawer of my dresser. Oh, and it comes with 8 different speeds!

I am so glad I am a girl…I would hate to wake up and find a bunch of scouts running a flag up my penis.

Okay, so help me out here. What is WITH the colors of dildos? I mean, I can understand toy guns being a different color so you don’t accidentally confuse it for the real thing but, in this case, if it were real, well…okay too many ‘guns’, weapons, accidental discharge, and other similar ideas just galloped though my thought process…

But Purple? hot Pink with glitter? Teal?

[Pork_Rind]

My penis is so mean, it’s rumored that it once shot a man just for snoring.

[Daithi_Lacha]

ooh! ooh! I gotta 'nother one!

My penis:
You will not find a more rigid hive of scum and villainy.

[Malacandra]

@Unintentionally Blank

Okay, so help me out here. What is WITH the colors of dildos? I mean, I can understand toy guns being a different color so you don’t accidentally confuse it for the real thing but, in this case, if it were real, well…okay too many ‘guns’, weapons, accidental discharge, and other similar ideas just galloped though my thought process…

But Purple? hot Pink with glitter? Teal?

Obviously we need a panel of horny female volunteers, and some blindfolds, in order to answer the searching question: The Vagina. Colour-Sensitive Or Not?

I will selflessly volunteer to outfit myself with a white lab coat and a clipboard in order to lend the verisimilitude of scientific respectability to this study.

[Daithi_Lacha]

@Malacandra

Obviously we need a panel of horny female volunteers, and some blindfolds, in order to answer the searching question: The Vagina. Colour-Sensitive Or Not?

I will selflessly volunteer to outfit myself with a white lab coat and a clipboard in order to lend the verisimilitude of scientific respectability to this study.

I just always assumed hoo-hahs had little light-sensitive eyes, like scallops. Yes, further research is needed.

[Draelin]

@Malacandra

The Vagina. Colour-Sensitive Or Not?

I have owned pink, blue, green, and now purple. I notice no difference because of the color. But I wish I had pbbth’s eight speeds.