Dude… thank you. I so needed a laugh. I think my preferred reparation is to watch him squirm as he confesses to my aunt just what a sick fuck he is. Believe me- she could make him wish for death.
Or to paraphrase a couple beautiful lines from the movie Moonstruck
“Do that again old man and I will kick you until you’re dead”
Or you whack him and he says “Someday you are gonna regret that”
You reply “someday you will be dead and I’m coming to your funeral in a red dress”
Holy bloody–
Get your family involved. Get help. NOW.
Wait, he’s 70 and she’s 23. Dare I ask how old your aunt was when the girl was born? :eek:
He is counting on you not wanting to make a huge uproar. That is what he has counted on in all these years. That the “little wimmin” wouldn’t want to make a stink, because they’re petite delicate flowers and all. He’s from a generation where such thinking was more common.
I don’t think that the police are mandatory at this point, but a big STINK where you confront him and make it clear that you are NOT a petite delicate flower who will be too hesitant to do anything. He’s still deluding himself that all you fragile women-folk won’t do anything. He needs to get over that delusion really fast.
Bolding mine.
I think Uncle Perv needs a visit from Mr. Seeker NOW. Mr. Seeker with his trusty sidekick, Board With A Nail In It.
Seriously, if one of my uncles tried this on my wife I would beat him to death with my own two fists. Probably headbutt him a few times as well. We’re Scottish, doncha know.
I’m trying to understand . So far as I get it , I don’t see any obvious sexual abuse. . What is possible here is an individual who’s never learned how to kiss in a manner that others are comfortable with.
I remember my paternal grandfather (now long dead) once giving me a “wet kiss” when I was about 10 years old. I was very uncomfortable, but I assure you there was nothing sexual or perverse about it.
When I was a young man, I would greet female friends and relatives with a kiss on the lips until one day an Aunt of my wife made it very clear without saying it that it was more appropriate to kiss on the cheek. Strange, because I can’t exactly remember her gesture but I do remember my discomfort as a result of her gesture and never kissed another woman on the lips again.
This is not a friendly relative kiss, no matter WHAT you did, grienspace. As well, it’s obvious he doesn’t make a habit of greeting people this way.
I don’t think we’re talking about the sloppy Aunt kiss here. (You know the one, complete with orange lipstick print).
I think she means he tried to slip her the tongue.
Ya know, one of the signs of Alzheimers is inappropriate behavior and inappropriate sexual behavior is fairly common in males. If this has only happened recently, I’d think about it. You say he’s always been “creepy and weird” so he may have always had inappropriate urges but been able to control them before. Anyway, just a thought…
Try your best to embarrass him in front of other family members. Wait for the appropriate timing, then stab him with a steely comment. Repeat this behavior as often as you can, he should get a clue eventually.
I agree with this. A family function, maybe. Thanksgiving is coming up. Front him off in front of everyone.
If you don’t, and you only tell this person or that, then he can always spin you as hysterical and misunderstanding. Believe me, he’s probably very practiced at that.
Accuse him publicly, and let him know he is now unwelcome.
I quadruple agree with everything almost everyone has said. Knee him hard, yell at him to stay away (even if in a hospital room). Report him to the authorities, NOW!
These creatures do not stop, they escalate in behaviour, you don’t want him corning some child who doesn’t know enough to tell him to get away do you? Trust me, you don’t want to have to think about that 20 years from now when you find out that not saying anything allowed him to go on to molest other innocent victims.
Scream bloody murder, if you’re lucky you’ll at least be able to charge him, if you’re REALLY lucky he might have to start and remain in counseling and be placed on the sexual offender list so that others can be warned.
What everyone else has said. Make sure he knows what he’s done is inappropriate, and that everyone in the family knows about it. Do not let it lie. At all. Make a fuss.
I only wish I’d known this 20 years ago.
UGH. We had one of those guys at work: A 75 year old who thought his age was an excuse for hugging and groping. His big deal was coming up behind females and hugging them, pressing his crotch against your ass. When he did it to me after I told him I hate to be touched, I slammed him into the back wall. Cured him in a hurry.
What your uncle is doing is probably legal assault. NOBODY has the right to even touch you if you don’t want them to. If it continues, report this asshole to the police.
Sorry for skipping out too early in the conversation. This whole week has been stressful and exhausting with Grandpa in the hospital (we just found out he has a brain tumor last Sunday). We’ve been taking turns staying with him as he doesn’t like to be alone in hospitals. I was pooped, so I went to bed.
I know a lot of you will balk at what I’m going to say, but here goes. Since he has never attempted to touch anyone in an inappropriate way (yes, I know his method of kissing is way inappropriate) and has never exposed himself, we (mom and I) have decided that humiliation is the way to go, rather than involve the police.
Mom went to the hospital yesterday evening, and Uncle Perv was there alone with Grandpa. Here’s her conversation with him:
Mom: “Seeker is very upset with you.”
Uncle Perv: “Oh? Why is that?”
M: “Oh, I think you know why.”
UP: Silence. Turns beet red
Now, my husband will have a word with him the next time we see him, probably today. Something along the lines of: “Keep your fucking hands off my wife and any other women in this family aside from your wife.” The advantage is, my hubby is the newest member of our family and people assume (because he’s from Scotland, Dante) that he has a red-hot temper and more apt to kick ass and ask questions later. In reality, he’s a gentle pussycat, but they don’t know that.
It’s possible that next week when I stay with Grandpa that Uncle Perv will be there. I will make a huge point to stay on the opposite side of the room from him, and will not enter an elevator with him-- he got too close to me in the lift Thursday but didn’t try to kiss me. He just invaded my personal bubble.
At future family gatherings, when I bring out the good-bye kisses I will publicly and loudly refuse to get near him with a “Stop right there, asshole” or “I don’t think so!” Even this subtle tactic will be noticed by all the women (and men) in the family- even the ones that have no idea how he is. In turn, they’ll start talking, questioning and berating him. We have a fantastic hen network in the family, and he will be humiliated beyond belief.
You know, I think his behavior has something to do with the fact that our family is dominated by very strong women who “whip their men into submission.” Christ, before Grandma got sick and died, she was like the friggin’ Godfather. Could it be that he feels that he has no control of his daily life and jumps at the opportunity to have some sort of control?
He’s retired, so there aren’t any women in the workplace to worry about. His days are spent tending to Grandpa (who lives with him and my aunt) and “serving” my aunt- chauffering her to and from work, running errands for her. He doesn’t have the opportunity to prey on strangers. He waits for opportunities with family members because, like so many of you have mentioned, he’s counting on us not to do anything.
Some points I should mention that may be helpful to you:
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Mom said that my aunt and cousin know how he is. Apparently, Grandma had a conversation with cousin and she point-blank asked her if Uncle Perv had acted inappropriately. I’ve witnessed my aunt scold him intensely for calling her by my mom’s name repeatedly (through the course of an afternoon), saying “Perv, my name is XXXX and I am your wife. DO NOT FORGET IT!” Since she was not shy about reprimanding him in front of other family members, I would put my life savings on her doing it again to a far greater degree when she got him alone.
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In our family, it is expected of the women to keep their men “in line.” I would be an outcast if I “went over their heads” and contacted the police. It actually wouldn’t bother me much because I’m already sort of the blacksheep, but I’d rather not bring more gossiping upon myself. Yes, I know you disagree. Sorry. However, if after the humiliation/ conversations with my mom and husband, he attempts anything else, I will have absolutely no qualms with reporting him. After introducing his nuts to my knee.
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If anyone, not just me, needs to report him there’s no way that he could spin the reporter into a hysterical attention whore. Too many people know how he is.
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I fully intend to warn my nieces about him, and publicly make it clear that they are not to be alone with him. No car rides, no babysitting (not that they need it anymore). I expect that when he knows he’s being considered a dangerous predator, his self esteem will shrink even more, thus diminishing any urges to be bold enough to act badly.
OleOneEye, my aunt was 34 when my cousin was born. Uncle Perv was her second marriage, and he’s 12 years older than my aunt and mom.
tremorviolet, I wouldn’t be shocked if he’s getting Alzheimer’s. But I am more apt to think he’s got Dirty Old Man Syndrome.
Did no-one ever report this to HR? It’s sexual harassment.
Eeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuw, any creep trying this with me would find himself unable to walk properly for some time, and if a young one, possibly unable to ever procreate!!
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
And it’s grounds for an ass whuppin’.
The humiliation tactics may work, but then they may not. I’d keep a very close eye on him, and don’t put off calling the cops if things escalate any more.
If he does manage somehow to get you alone and force himself on you, there’s the knee to the nuts, but you can’t always get a good angle on that. You can also try a couple of pressure points that aren’t too hard to find, and will hurt like hell. One is on the inside of the wrist, where the tendons for closing the fingers run. Another is on the lower jaw, about halfway back on the side, underneath and inside the bone. To use one of these pressure points, jam your thumb on it as hard as you can. You can practice on youself, just do it very gradually so you get a sense of where the point is. A little bit of force goes a long way if you do it right.