My Bonnie has tuberculosis,
My Bonnie has one rotten lung,
My Bonnie spits blood in a bucket,
And dries it and chews it for gum.
Then there was the parody of the Branded theme song
Stranded!
Stranded on the toilet bowl!
What do you do when you’re stranded?
Without a roll?
Stranded!
Will you be a man?
What do you do when you’re stranded?
Will you use your hand?
And Spongebob’s version:
Learned at Girl Scout camp:
Re-re-regurgitate
Throw up all the food you ate
V-O-M-I-T
Everybody barf on the count of three!
One-one-one-two-three!
BLEEEEECCHCHHCGGCCHH
p.s. For some reason, it wouldn’t let me post a YT clip.
I remember an old “Dennis the Menace” cartoon where he and his parents were in church, and the caption is “Because I knew ‘Yankee Doodle’ better, that’s why.”
Hope he didn’t sing THIS version!
I heard it slightly differently:
Whistle while you work,
Hitler is a jerk,
Mussolini bit his weenie,
Now it doesn’t squirt.
How about kids books - Brenda’s Beaver needs a barber; yes, they are real books!
My late mother was an elementary school teacher during WW2. She claimed a song kids would sing went like this:
"Hitler, has only got one ball,
Goering, has two but their small,
Himmler…has something simmlar,
And Goebels, has no balls at all!
It was sung to the tune of a well known marching band song but unfortunately I don’t recall the name of it
Which gives me an excuse to link to Dudley Moore’s excellent take on it.
That’s the one!
A dirty bugle call:
There’s a soldier in the grass
with a bullet up his ass.
“Take it out, take it out!”
said a Girl Scout.
The first dirty limerick I remember learning:
There was a young man from Nantucket
whose cock was so long he could suck it.
He said with a grin
as he wiped off his chin,
“If my ear was a cunt, I could fuck it!”
“There was a young man from Boston,
Who drove a mini Austin,
There was room for his ass,
And a gallon of gas,
But his balls hung out so he lost 'em”
The Perfect Master confirmed your mother’s claim some 36 years ago!
Oh yes - this one was actually taught to me by a girl at high school. S. C., actually a very nice person.
About the same time I heard this one:
There once was a young girl named Jill
[who] used a dynamite stick for a thrill.
They found her vagina in North Carolina,
and bits of her tits
in Brazil.
Hitler
has only got one ball.
Goering
has two,
but they are small.
Himmler
is somewhat sim’ler.
And Goebbels
hasn’t
got any
at all.
Stranded,
struck on a toilet bowl!
What do you do when you’re stranded,
and you can’t find a roll?
To prove you’re a man
you must use your hand,
when you’re stranded on a toilet bowl!
I heard it as
“And Joseph Goebbels . . . has no balls . . . at all!”
Slightly twisting the pronunciation of “Goebbels” to make it rhyme with “no balls”.
The best variation of THAT was:
There once was a man from Nantucket
Who took an IQ test; with luck it
Turned out that he
Had the brilliance to be
A droplet within Mensa’s bucket.
I, too learned that “gopher guts” song at Girl Scout camp, much to the chagrin of the adults in our lives.
I tried to sing it, and it felt off. Is this missing a line, or is there no line that rhymes with “ivy”?
Sorry, I missed a line. After the first “Fa la la…”, insert these lines:
'Tis the season to be naughty
Fa la la la la la la la la
i heard this but it was "one eye the lonesome cowboy " and removed reindeer for cowboy and has a line about the penitentiary
but he sea chanty song I is also known as "friggin in the riggin " bu the sex pistols