Need advice on strange behavior

[LMarie]

@xizor

As a guy who is single and also on okcupid, here is my take.
He is still very active on the site. He met and contacted you. There was no red flags on your date, but also you didn’t sweep him off his feet. So he is kind of keeping you around in case he can’t find anyone better, but at the same time viewing profiles and contacting other women. But he hasn’t found “the one” in 6 months of trying and that is why he came back, just to make sure he has a plan B in place. Meanwhile, he is still searching.
I don’t know you, but you deserve better. Release him to the wild and move on.

This.

[Carnacki]

[QUOTE=honey_blondie_33]

After that, he responded to that message and said we should meet up sometime, that it’d be fun. I responded with my phone number and told him I would like that, and to let me know when he would like to do something. I thought that was direct enough. Maybe not. But again, the ball was in his court. He had no problem asking me out the very first time, so I did not think planning a second date would turn into a long, drawn-out thing. He mentioned for a second time something about getting together and said, “We’ll have to plan something once everything settles down.” (Funny; I’d heard that somewhere before.)
[/QUOTE]

I agree with most of the advice already given, and this guy does sound like a weirdo, but I just wanted to point something out.

Once you’ve told someone you wouldn’t mind just being friends, there is no “ball in his court”, and there’s no “second date”. Those are dating terms. “Just friends” will meet up for a bite to eat, or get invited to board-game night, or get a ride to the airport, or be busy and out of touch for a month before going to see a matinee of Kick Ass 2. What they don’t do is worry about “does she like me” or “why hasn’t he called” – instead, they’re just friends.

[Zulema]

I agree with those who think you saying you want to be “just friends” is the problem. He is treating you like guys treat their friends, which is way different than how women treat their friends.

The other thing I see a lot lately is that people examine every little miniscule action for hidden meanings and totally lose the fun of dating. If you had a great time the first date, why not give a second date a try? So he’s acting a little weird. We’ve all acted a little weird at times. If acting weird was a deal breaker most of us would be alone and hardly anyone would get married.

Arguably, he’s attempting to act like your friend when possibly he wants more. Did you consider that he might think you want to be his friend because you’re trying out some other guy. He might think he’s on your back burner.

Ask him on a date. Make it clear that you are going out on a date and not as friends.