I don’t think you did anything wrong - you let him know you were interested, you gave him your phone number, and like you say, the ball is firmly in his court (and he is not returning the serve). I think this guy could have done you a favour and just stayed gone. 
Speaking as a guy, if I emailed a girl a few times and then she mentioned that she’d be up for being friends I’d probably respond with something like “I’m really looking for more then just friends, so I think I’m going to take a pass, but good luck” or some other (honestly) line of crap like that. Sorry to sound crass, but after a bunch of emails, it’s kind of a kick in the head when the person you’ve been really excited to meet suddenly stops sharing your enthusiasm. That would be a nice way for me to just end things from my side and go back to what I was doing before I saw her profile.
He said “However, I always enjoy hearing from you, so whichever you prefer” which IMO translates to “I’d like to be more then friends, but if you want to tell yourself that we’re just meeting as friends, that’s fine with me if that’s what it takes to get you to go out on date” But you’d both be in a different headspace which is why I hate that ‘friends first’ stuff.
Either that or he’s floundering because he doesn’t know what to do with what you said.
I think the two of you just aren’t right for each other. He’s not ready to go on a second date with you and you aren’t ready to date, or something.
Whatever’s going on, you two aren’t clicking, if you were the second date would have happened a few days later. If 6 months later you’re still trying to decide if you should see him again, it’s not right.
U did nothing wrong, he could have 10 girls going on differant sites, your too good for him, get another guy, forget him
I’m thinking along the same lines as Joey P… “Whatever’s going on, you two aren’t clicking, if you were the second date would have happened a few days later. If 6 months later you’re still trying to decide if you should see him again, it’s not right.”
There just doesn’t seem to be any ‘mutual spark’ apparent, from the details you’ve provided.
There are too many ‘fish in the sea’, (and it’s a big sea) to waste any more time with this one.
Throw him back, rebait the hook and cast again. 
And to use another fishing metaphor, sometimes you need to try fishing in a different spot. 
FWIW, you sound like an intelligent woman and will eventually land a ‘keeper’.
Thank you. 
I wouldn’t do that if we had never met before, but we previously had, and he’d also had ample opportunity to ask me out for another date if he’d wanted to, especially after I told him I’d be up for meeting up/gave him my number/told him to let me know when he was available.
You know what feels like a “kick in the head?” The fact that I gave him the benefit of the doubt this time around and went against my better judgement just to see if he’d treat me any differently than the first time, and realizing that he is putting about as much effort into pursuing me as before - and I never “friend-zoned” him the first time around, either. So it made no difference.
On Friday (somewhere in the middle of all these posts), I had tried to get a conversation going with him (via text) about his weekend plans. He just now responded to me today with, “Hello there! Sorry about the delay. Had a hectic weekend. How did your run go? That sounded fun!” (He starts with the apology and delay thing most every time) That was my last attempt to “reach out” (sorry guys, had to use that term 
).
I don’t enjoy being toyed with at all (who does, right?). I feel like it is my fault for letting my guard down after being blown off once by him, but now I have learned. No more of this nonsense. Definitely moving on.
(They need a beer-drinking smiley on here…)
Agreed!!
Another view, he could be new to dating after coming from a tough relationship and just is or was not ready to take it further. I met some awesome ladies in my early days of breaking up and have made contact with one after it had fizzled out and a break of 6 months. I dated quite a few ladies who I knew were not right, the one I let go was one I could see myself with long term. We are now seeing each other and it’s going well, if I had acted at the time it would have fallen apart.
Sometimes we think we are ready and in reality we are not.
Or he is just lonely?
You’re quite welcome.
Good for you. 
(Seconded)
The bottom line is this. When you start getting all kinds of static about how hectic and crazy etc. his life is and that he can’t reach out to contact you it’s always 100% horseshit. People make time for what is important to them and you are not.
As a separate note when women you have dated say they want to be “friends” that’s pretty much a fork in the well done roast to most men. Not to be blunt, but most men could really care less about being post date buddies. Either there’s a spark or there’s not. If he cared he’d pursue the relationship and that is your answer.
You need to cut the cord on this. Just because he doesn’t know how to properly bug off doesn’t mean you have to put up with this nonsense.
I clicked on this thread because I misread the user name as “Horny Blonde 33” :smack:
However, now that I’m in and have read the responses, I agree with the prevailing sentiment of “cut him loose”.
There could be any number of reasons behind his behaviour, many of them suggested already, none of them seem like good reasons to keep him around.
Whether he’s playing a deliberate game or not doesn’t really matter, you don’t owe him anything and have no reason to put up with dipshit behaviour.
Cut him loose, move on. There’s plenty more dipshits out there to wade through.
One last thing, I assume that this is on OKC. Take a look at the questions that he’s answered and see if he answered “How willing are you to meet someone from OkCupid in person?”*. There’s three answers for this one. Very Willing, Hesitant, Not willing. It’s been in my experience on OKC, that if someone puts an answer other then ‘very willing’ you’re not going to get a date out of them. If they put Hesitant, I’ll go back and forth with them for a few emails then ask them out and if they say no or tap dance around the question, I’ll move on and if they say ‘not willing’ I don’t even waste my time emailing them, it’s just not worth it. People just sort of buzz through those questions and I don’t think they realize how honestly they actually answer them so there’s a handful of them that I specifically look for, that’s one of them.
I am reminded of a story I heard the other day about the difficulties of educated, high earning Chinese women to find men to marry. A huge mixer was arranged. 20,000 men were there. And the comment from the poor woman they interviewed was that even with 20,000 single men in one spot, there wasn’t one who was mature, educated, earning a living and not a jerk.
Am I missing something? How do you end up married with kids or whatever else you’re looking for if you never actually meet people?
Well, if you’re going to set your standards that high…
His answer was “very willing.” And he was - a week or so after we began exchanging messages, he asked to meet me for Thai food, so we met (back in November). It was from that point on that he turned into (revealed that he was/is) a flake.
Maybe they just want a sexting partner?
Maybe that’s what this guy secretly wanted from me. I’ll bet if I sent him a dirty picture, he’d get back to me a little quicker than four days.
Edited to add: Not that I’m considering it…
I think some people join the site, but really aren’t ready to join it and are sort of hoping some guy will show up and sweep them off their virtual feet with his looks and wit and wisdom and they’ll be so in love they won’t be able to not meet him.
These are the same people that say “I’m just on here to take the quizzes” Sure you are. You can tell yourself that, but there’s ‘quizzes’ all over the internet. That’s like going to a singles mixer, sitting on the side all night and telling people “I’m just here because they have free soda” It’s fine, I get it, but the only person you’re fooling is yourself and if you just say “I’m just sticking my toes in the water to see what it’s like, I just want to see who’s out there and see if I’m interested in anyone” you’ll have much better luck. You still don’t have to talk to anyone, but at least people will see your face and maybe next time you’re at the mixer they won’t say “Don’t talk to her, I’m not even sure why she’s here”, they’ll say “Go talk to her, she just needs someone to break the ice”.
I also think it’s a bit of a power play. She can ignore guys by saying “I’m not here to date” but if there’s someone she’s interested in, she can tell them to ignore that statement or she can say “I know, but I still like you”
So, if you really aren’t interested in meeting someone, GTFO, OKC isn’t meant for you. If you are interested in meeting someone, don’t write that stuff. But, like I said, if someone does say they aren’t willing to meet IRL, they tend to flake out on the emails sooner or later so I don’t even bother with them…IME
“I’m not on the dating site to date.” People is weird.
He’s staying in touch in order to keep you around as an option.
Your decision now is whether you’d like to be one or not.