Sell a man a fish and you feed him for a day.
Teach a man to fish and you lose a steady customer.
Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet intakes.
Corollary : neither to you or the bullfrog.
Read the entire OP before posting 
Indecision is the key to flexibility.
There is nothing wrong with having nothing to say unless you insist on saying it.
Today is the tomorrow you forgot to plan for yesterday.
Urinal cakes aren’t really cakes.
“Question authority” - why? Who says so?
All generalizations are false.
Things aren’t as good as they used to be, and they never were.
A man’s mistakes are the only things he can truly call his own.
(From a Billy Joel tune, no?)
Never argue with a fool. He’ll just drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day.
Teach a man to fish and he’ll drink all afternoon.
The Great Pretender is not what he seems.
Abandon Hope. Pandora took the money.
Might can’t determine who’s right, but it can determine who’s left.
A society in which men recognize no check upon their freedom soon becomes a society where freedom is the possession of only a savage few.
There are three kinds of people in the world: those that can count, and those that can’t.
No matter how far you’ve gone down the wrong road, turn back.
Remember, once the pin is pulled, Mister Grenade is NOT your friend !
If you want a rare steak, eat a cow on a hot day.
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
Don’t drink and park, accidents cause people.
Dictators are rulers who always look good until the last ten minutes.
Do not meddle in the affairs of insomniacs, for they are cranky and can do things to you while you sleep.
Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it with religious conviction.
Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities.
It is a much better thing to be a smartass than to be the alternative.
If you torture data sufficiently, it will confess to almost anything.
Most statistics are 50% wrong
Yes, but then 87% of statistics are made up on the spot.
If you have trouble writing fiction, just make stuff up.
I didn’t know the meaning of true happiness until I met my wife…of course it was too late by then.
Dont be sorry afterwards be sorry before and dont fucking do it.
I’m not on your side,I’m not on his side ,I’m on MY side.
Your confusing me with someone who GIVES a fuck.
Women…you cant live WITH them…and you cant kill’em.
Always be nice to ugly women and then they’ll tell their hot friend how nice you are.
LAUGH!!!I wondered when I’d start.
If at first you don’t succeed, get a bigger hammer.
Hate the people that love to hate you. Love the people that hate to love you. And love yourself. But not egotistically, because too much self-love just makes you jelous of the people that envy you.
If it’s yellow, let it mellow. If it’s brown, flush it down.
Clothes may make the man but all a girl needs is a tan.