Someone has to.
His father being shot there is only a conspiracy theory. It is entirely possible that he smacked a wall at Daytona.
No, Dallas is where the grassy knoll is and it’s going to catch fire like the burning bush, only except instead of God speaking it will be JFK jr.
He’s not actually coming back in human form because that would be ridiculous!
Jeezus, Dealy Plaza?! 
I was going to make a joke about them expecting JFK Jr. to arrive in an open car driving past the School Book Depository, but apparently Poe’s Law is now the highest law in the land.
Maybe he came back as Jet Pack Man:
Not quite.
His 104-year-old father was going to be revealed to not have died in 1963, but instead to have been in hiding for the past 58 years. And then due to some provision of “the constitution” as a former president he can name/declare a current president. So, JFK Sr. will proclaim Donald Trump as the current President with JFK Jr (who has also been in hiding, though it is unclear whether he and his father were hiding together or separately) as his VP.
Also, the Kennedys were secret Republicans.
I wish I were making this up.
I see the Trump reinstatement process is going about as well as a bunch of tiki torch morons can manage. But I have a question. When Trump is reinstated, does he get four years from the date of reinstatement, or does he just finish out Biden’s term?
Well, he’s been brain dead since 1999.
Surely he will be president for life!
I know: don’t call you Shirley.
As long as it’s not my life.
Right. No one ever had to get a permit to speak their mind. No one ever had to get a permit to freely associate and gather with others. No one ever got herded into a “free speech zone” in the Yoonited States of 'Murka.
Right.
Former Rochester radio host who was fired for making racist comments, is being investigated for tweeting that she went to a Buffalo Bills game with a fake vaccination card.
Didn’t their mothers ever tell them, “Don’t say anything you wouldn’t want printed on the front page of the New York Times”? It was a figure of speech back in the day, but today it is reality. It’s like these people don’t realize that putting stuff on the interwebs is public.
The fact that you would even use such an anti-Trump term means you’ll never understand!
But Trump has already said he deserves 8 more years:
“After that,” Trump said, “we’ll negotiate,” asserting that he’s “probably entitled to another four after that” based on “the way we were treated.”
His theory is apparently that the Democrats were soooooo mean to him that he couldn’t do anything in his first term, so that one doesn’t count.
Nothing “apparently” about it. Even while he was still (choke. gag.) president, he was openly saying that he should get an extra two years at least because of that.
Good luck “negotiating” with the Constitution.
“Nobody ever knew the Constitution was so complicated. But I know more about the Constitution than anybody except the great Benjamin Franklin, who more and more people are getting to know about, so we’re going to sit down and we’ll do a deal, and I predict it’s going to be a very easy deal, and a lot of you are going to be very surprised by what gets announced in the next two weeks.”
In other news, Papa John has eaten 800 Papa John’s pizzas in the last 18 months in order to somehow prove that “the elite progressive left” are the reason their pizzas suck.
18 months is roughly 540-550 days. Let’s say 550. Basically he’s eaten a pizza and a half every day for a year and a half. Even if they’re small ones, that’s a lot of pizza.
How fat is he now, and what’s his cholesterol like?
Mothers can say that until they’re blue in the face, but for certain types, Uncle Phineas (T. Barnum)'s dictum of There is no such thing as bad publicity is always going to take precedence.