Resources that will be hard to exploit after an American invasion smashes the shit out of our infrastructure. How many billions will he invest in fixing our stuff, so he can exploit us economically?
Hey, Canada might get Infrastructure Week before the US does!
Distort D’Newsa is literally calling himself “one of the good ones” amidst the current MAGA civil war over mass importing Indian tech workers.
Didn’t he literally apologize recently for lying in 2,000 Mules?
Here’s a breath of fresh air from Reichminister Musk. He’s actually being honest.
Borowitz,
You’re both right, of course. Still, the kids would be better off with the assurance of “child separation” taking place. Then they could relax.
^ This. Trump does want to acquire some territory. But he’ll need a Big Event as a pretext. Some shocking act of violence, killing hundreds (at least) of Americans and, perhaps, putting the Congress out of commission. Think how sad that would make Donald!! Those lousy Canadians/Panamanians/Danish/Iranians/whoever… Donald will vow revenge!!1!!!
(I would pay close attention to any pattern of Republicans being seen removing personal effects from the Capitol building.)
This batch of Republicans can’t even elect a Speaker without turning it into a civil war and are currently preoccupied with yelling at each other over whether Indians count as “good immigrants”. I doubt they have the ability to orchestrate a Reichstag fire without Chip Roy getting arrested for burning down James Comer’s garage.
I didn’t suggest that Congressional Republicans would orchestrate such a plot. I did suggest that Trump might clue in a few favorite MAGAs. For example, he might hint that if they want to save that lovely oil portrait of themselves hanging in their office, they’d better “send it out for cleaning” by such-and-such a date.
I also don’t suggest that Trump would orchestrate this plot. He has people for that.
As if Trump were capable of keeping a secret for more than five seconds. He’d immediately take to Fox News and declare “There’s a lot of things that are going on, and I can’t tell you what they are, but they’re going to set a fire next Tuesday and we’ll say it was Mexicans”.
Trump has filed a brief asking the Supreme Court to postpone the proposed ban of Tiktok (which is happening because of Trump) on the grounds that Trump is the greatest smartest president ever and he and he alone can make a great deal that will make everybody happy and rich.
Denmark is already taking defensive steps: Among other enhancements, Denmark will deploy “…two extra dog sled teams.”
Denmark has also offered to buy the US.
“Denmark would be interested in purchasing the United States in its entirety, with the exception of its government,” the spokesperson added.
A key provision of the purchase offer, the spokesperson said, would be the relocation of Donald Trump to another country “to be determined,” with Russia and North Korea cited as possible destinations.
If Denmark’s bid for the United States is accepted, the Scandinavian nation has ambitious plans for its new acquisition. “We believe that, by giving the U.S. an educational system and national health care, it could be transformed from a vast land mass into a great nation,” the spokesperson said."
For certain definitions of literally and apologize.
As a jensen, I support this message.
As if Trump would stop for a second to consider the effects of his behavior on someone else. Favorite painting? Priceless antiques? Your grandmother? Nah, light that shit up!
House Republicans: Congressing is HARD! Why don’t we just let Trump decide what the budget is?
If Congress is no longer responsible for the federal budget, why do you need Congress?
It seems like a short stretch from turning over budgetary authority to Trump to turning over everything else.
How long do you think it will take for them to cut to the chase and propose an enabling act?
Some building needs to catch fire first….
I mean, this isn’t going to go anywhere since they don’t have a solid majority OR 60 votes in the Senate, but it’s just another sign of how Congress is going to accomplish absolutely nothing for as long as these chucklefucks are in “charge”.
It’s another sign they don’t expect Democrats to ever win again.
Controlling the budget is one of Congress’s controls over the President. Imagine a President who wants to shift half of the military budget to social programs. Or fund Ukraine twice the expenditure of Medicare.
It’s not as if a President is particularly fiscally responsible. Just do away with the debt ceiling unilaterally, because you can’t have a budget if you keep a lid on borrowing what’s already been allocated.
Then borrow borrow borrow, because you’ll be done in 8 years, it won’t be your problem.
May be a while.
Dutch half-wits are hard to come by these days.
