Because how the hell are you supposed to know if you want to have sex with just one person all your life until you know how the person is in bed?!
I think that’s why he/she said “physically re-established”
Are you being sarcastic?
I think that matt’s point is that it only makes sense to make sure that you are sexually compatible with the person you’re going to spend the rest of your life with before you make that committment.
If you had to pick only one car to drive for the rest of your life would you pick one out without testing it?
Well on the flipside would you know the sex was bad if you had nothing else to compare it to?
Hmm…driving a car…having physical intimacy with another person…
DAMN! I just don’t seem to love my car as much as you guys.
Here’s a tip: LEAVE THE HOUSE!! Good God woman - SIXTEEN THOUSAND POSTS??!! Take off those pajamas and go out and interact with OTHER PEOPLE, fer Chrissakes!!
And before you flame me saying “It’s none of my business” - well, as someone once said:
As someone who’s been there, I’m just trying to give you some tough love - it looks like you need it!
I don’t want the paintbrush to revolve around me. All I’m telling you is that you are potentially, with your ‘that’s just how it is’ statements and attitude that all women are irreparably emotionally tied to sex and destroyed forever if a man lies about living them contribuiting to the continuation of a very serious problem with the way the human race deals with sex.
Don’t remember who said this, but a lie repeated often enough becomes the truth. And I think that this constant message from all directions is exactly that. A lie that gets repeated to young women so much that they eventually believe it and it causes them a lot more damage than it does benefit in the long run.
Instead of raising girls with that kind of negativity and turning them into women who hit a downward spiral and start thinking suicide because somebody lied to them, maybe it’s time the world evolved into a new attitude that some people are more emotional about sex and some are not, and that you don’t have to feel ruined if you had sex with someone who didn’t love you.
Just as an example, and not (Guin, please read this part) to focus on me, I spent the majority of my childhood being told that I was horribly ugly and that everything was wrong with me because I was more of a tomboy than a girly-girl. None of that was, at all, in any way true, but after enough years, I believed it. And that’s what I meant by telling something to a segment of the population long enough and loud enough that it sinks in and does more harm to them than it does good.
What if (yeah, I know, hypothetical worlds don’t matter) there was a world in which women weren’t raised to believe that they should ‘save themselves’ for love because they’d be heartbroken and ruined if they didn’t? Would it still suck to be lied to? Of course it would. But would it still become the drop out of school and want to kill yourself kind of heartbreak it is in this world?
I’m not saying that if a person feels sex is important to them they’re wrong and should be chastised. Hell, I consider sex important, and probably so do a lot of people who find nothing wrong with sex outside of or before marriage. The problem I have is with the constant message to women that sex must equal love. I don’t think that message does women any good.
P.S. six is a she.
You can tell. TRUST ME.
Britney spears?
Damn. I’ve been found out.
IF sex is all there is to the relationship, you might have a point.
However, it seems to me that if you care about someone enough to want to spend the rest of your lives together, then how good the sex will be isn’t something that needs to be ascertained beforehand. If the person’s worth being with, you can always work on the sex. Learning how to please each other would be part of the relational maturation process, it seems to me.
It all comes down to which is more important to you: sex or the person. If it’s just sex, then toss them out for a more capable model. If it’s the person, however, then how the sex is going to be is up to the two of you to develop to your mutual satisfaction.
I used to know a woman from India who was in an arranged marriage; and didn’t even meet her husband until their wedding day. They’d been married twenty years and were very happy together. Did she just get lucky and land a stallion? Nope, they were to be together for life and they made it work. She didn’t know how he was going to be in bed before they were married, and it didn’t matter. How they were in bed was up to them.
Oh shut the fuck up.
Oh, uh, OK, YOU shut the fuck up. :rolleyes:
It was Michael Jackson: “Mother always told me, be careful who you love, and be careful what you do, 'cause your lie becomes the truth, hey hey!”
It is possible just to be totally sexually incompatible with someone. Why in the world would you take that risk?
Can we at least agree that people who choose to be virgins, right or wrong, have the right to make that choice and shouldn’t be tricked/seduced/etc. to save them from the horrors of possible future bad sex?
Tough love or not, implying that she posts too much and should be out getting some ‘hot lovin’ instead is only something an ass would do.
Hey - she was the one that posted that she wanted to lose her virginity, or to use your term (not mine) “get some hot lovin” - I merely suggested that if she were so inclined she go out and meet people.
I used to be afraid of leaving the house myself, and I got hooked on a message board during that time, which made things even worse. Based on her total number of posts, looks like she has the same problem.
I don’t see how giving her a push makes me an ass, but if you want to think that…well OK. I may have worded it too harshly, but I was trying to get in the spirit of this forum - maybe I’m not that good at it yet, but my intentions weren’t assholish.
I am not the best-liked person on this Board. There are a few people who think I’m nuts. (I am stressed-out. That’s why I got my Boss to give me three days off.)
But you’re just fucking rude, punk.
And I’m thinking that you might have come to this Board for no other reason than that.
I irritate people sometimes, but I also make a contribution.
Do you?