NFL 2022: Week Seventeen Seconds

It’s week seventeen (seconds), a measure of life. And a strangely fitting song for many of the teams.

Time slips away
And the light begins to fade
And everything is quiet now.

Feeling is gone
And the picture disappears
And everything is cold now.

The dream had to end
The wish never came true…

But enough goth teenage angst. Let’s get to the games.

Thursday Night Football
Cowboys at Titans (+12.5, 39.5)

Sunday
Early Games
Broncos at Chiefs (-12.5, 45)
Colts at Giants (-6, 38.5)
Jaguars at Texans (+4.5, 43.5)
Cardinals at Falcons (-3.5, 42)
Panthers at Buccaneers (-3, 40.5)
Bears at Lions (-6, 52)
Browns at Commanders (-2, 40.5)
Dolphins at Patriots (-3, 41.5)
Saints at Eagles (-6, 43.5)

Late Games
Jets at Seahawks (+1.5, 42.5)
49ers at Raiders (+10, 41.5)
Vikings at Packers (-3, 48)
Rams at Chargers (-6.5, 41)

Sunday Night Football
Steelers at Ravens (-2.5, 35)

Monday Night Football
Bills at Bengals (+1, 49.5)

In the AFC, there are five teams already in the playoffs and, mathematically, seven teams fighting for the remaining two spots (although the Raiders and Steelers would need some bizarre things to happen). In the NFC, the Eagles, Cowboys, Vikings, and 49ers are in, and eight teams are technically in the hunt for the other three spots.

The game to watch looks like MNF between the Bills and Bengals. In other games, I’ll be rooting for the Vikings to beat the Packers to keep the Lions’ feeble playoff hopes alive, and for the Panthers to beat the Buccs and send Brady off to an early retirement (for good this time).

I agree with your goals, and still rooting for the Chiefs.

Giants are in with a win over the Colts.

Bucs win the division with a win over the Panthers, but a Carolina win gives them the inside track.

Packers win out, and either Washington loses one or the Giants lose both, and Green Bay somehow salvages a playoff berth, against either San Francisco (oh god no) or Minnesota (still please no). Stranger things have happened, but I’m not getting shades of 2010 playoff juggernaut in my bones, but more 2015 “Well, we did our best” participation trophy vibes.

Gonna be an interesting game - outdoors in Lambeau against a Vikings team that hasn’t played outdoors since before temperatures dropped in mid-November. I’m going with the hopium.

I will never ever root against the Bears, but… they’re one loss out of the #1 draft spot (which I assume would be traded for a hefty haul) AND a Lions win would keep them ahead of the Pack, so I’m not too worried that apparently every single WR is injured right not.

As noted in the Week 16 thread, the Raiders have benched Derek Carr, and will be starting Jarrett Stidham at QB for the final two games, with Chase Garbers as the backup. It appears that Carr and the Raiders have mutually agreed for him to “step away” from the team for the remainder of the season, so as not to be a distraction.

Meanwhile, WR Davante Adams, who forced a trade from the Packers to the Raiders in the offseason largely for the chance to play with Carr (his friend and college QB), and who has four years left on his contract with Las Vegas, is not happy.

Somebody from the Raiders also admitted it was partly to help maintain his health for any potential trades. Harder to get injured if he’s not on the field.

Today in completely expect news:
Blaine Gabbert helped save helicopter crash victims on his jet ski

MNF should just be an epic, epic showdown.

The Cardinals are going to be starting journeyman David Blough at quarterback on Sunday; he’ll be the Cards’ fourth starting QB this season.

With Blough and Jason Stidham getting starts on Sunday, that will give the NFL 64 different players starting at quarterback so far this season, setting the record for number of starting QBs in a non-strike year (1987, which had several weeks of games with strike-replacement players, had 87 different starting QBs).

Only eleven NFL teams have had the same starting quarterback every week this year.

Do you mean Jarrett Stidham or Jason Statham? I’m hoping for the latter.

I clearly had the latter in mind, but alas, it’s the former. :smiley:

With two weeks to go (less the TNF game, of course), there are still 24 teams alive in the playoff chase. Just eight teams have been eliminated.

Only one game this week has no playoff implications: Cardinals at Falcons.

Colts quarterback Nick Foles, who had been elevated to the starting role over Matt Ryan, has been knocked out of today’s game with a rib injury. The Colts, who are getting trounced by the Giants, are now playing Sam Ehlinger at QB.

The Giants are in. Big game from Daniel Jones. Not expecting too much from them in the playoffs but it’s nice to be in again.

I noticed early in the Giants game that it appeared every single lineman, both offensive and defensive, is now wearing those clear plastic shields in their face masks. Possibly the linebackers too. Can’t say I blame them, with Bellinger getting that eye injury and then Thibodeaux getting dinged in the eye on the last play last week. I guess it’s no more fucking around with eyes.

The Giants finally looked like a good football team. Daniel Jones looked solid, so I really wish they would stop calling these designed QB run plays. Up three touchdowns in the fourth quarter they did those three plays in a row, and Jones got hit pretty good on all three. It just makes no sense to me. Shortly after that the fans all started shouting Daniel, Daniel, so the coaches finally and wisely pulled him from the game to a raucous ovation from the crowd. It was a really nice moment.

Tampa Bay defeats the Panthers and clinches the NFC South.

One playoff spot left in the NFC. The Lions currently hold the spot at 8-8, but both the Pack and Seattle are 7-8 and are still playing today. Lions and Green Bay play next week; Seahawks host the Rams.

Does Washington still have a chance? Can I still root for an all-NFC East playoffs?

They’re on the outside looking in right now, at 7-8-1, but they’re right now #8. I think they could still get in, but they’ll need to win next week, and get some help.

I cynically believe that starting Wentz was them throwing in the towel.