NFL 2023: WEEK ONE man leaves!

The Game Room
1

Welp it’s been another long offseason, and we’re finally here with some real life NFL football games. My favorite offseason stories:

  1. Aaron Rodgers moving on from the Packers is now with the J-E-T-S JETSJETSJETS, and everyone thinks it makes them a legit contender for the Super Bowl (they’re the 7th favorite, according to Vegas). I’m excited to see how it goes for them there, because they really are an excellent team with a fantastic roster. I’m less excited for the Jordan Love era for the Packers.

  2. Sean Payton gets lured back to the NFL, this time to the Broncos who gave up a first round pick and a round upgrade next year to get him. He immediately brings over some of his beloved Saints (does anyone really think Adam Trautman is better than Albert O?), throws the prior Denver coach under the bus and begins making excuses for any under-acheiving that might occur on his watch. Could be a fun little clusterfuck in Denver.

  3. Ding Dong the Dick is Dead! Dan Snyder no longer pollutes everything around him as he’s fired from owning the Washington Commanders. Couldn’t happen to a bigger asshole.

  4. And, as always, it’s fun to watch teams decide what to do with their QB position. Justin Herbert, Jalen Hurts and Lamar Jackson get PAID with a capital PAID, and deservedly so (although Lamar needs to stay healthy). Daniel Jones and his whopping 15 td passes and 3200 yards passing last year also gets to make $40 million a year thanks to the Giants. The Niners realize the huge mistake of overpaying for a project QB and trade Trey Lance for a fourth rounder. Good times.

  5. JJ Watt, one of my favorite players, retired.

All of which will make tihs 2023 season fascinating to watch. The Bears/Packers rivalry is interesting again, at least for now (they have similar win totals according to Vegas, so I’m heavily financially invested in the Packers beating the Bears). It’s still OK to hate the Browns and hope they lose. Jim Irsay can’t stop shooting himself, and the Colts, in the foot, whether it’s alienating players or drafting one of the most impressive physical beings who has a whopping 13 starts under his belt. And every team is on the rise with a ton of hope for the new season. Well, except maybe the Cardinals. That could be a massive shitshow. But there’s will be a lot of interesting stuff to watch.

So, here’s your games this Week 1:

Thursday, Sept. 7

Detroit Lions at Kansas City Chiefs (-4.5, 52.5)

Sunday, Sept. 10

Early

Carolina Panthers at Atlanta Falcons (-3.5, 39.5)
Houston Texans at Baltimore Ravens (-10, 43.5)
Cincinnati Bengals at Cleveland Browns (+2.5, 47.5)
Jacksonville Jaguars at Indianapolis Colts (+5, 45)
Tampa Bay Buccaneers at Minnesota Vikings (-6, 45.5)
Tennessee Titans at New Orleans Saints (-3, 41)
San Francisco 49ers at Pittsburgh Steelers (+2, 41)
Arizona Cardinals at Washington Commanders (-7, 38)

Late

Green Bay Packers at Arlington Heights Bears (-1, 43)
Las Vegas Raiders at Denver Broncos (-3.5, 44)
Miami Dolphins at San Diego Chargers (-3, 51)
Philadelphia Eagles at New England Patriots (+4, 45)
St. Louis Rams at Seattle Seahawks (-5, 46)

Night

Dallas Cowboys at New York Giants (+3.5, 46.5)

Monday, Sept. 11

Buffalo Bills at New York Jets (+2.5, 46.5)

Every game is watchable this week. New Season. New Hopes, New Dreams, New Wishes.

So, what you are people interested in watching this season? Who’s your favorite player/coach in a new place? Who are you rooting for? Who are you rooting against? Let’s hear from you.

2

{\color{blue}\mathbf{GIANTS}}

1st game has to a night game and damn Dallas again.

Who’s doing the NBC games this year?

I think the {\color{blue}\mathbf{GIANTS}} have a real shot at the playoffs this year. The new GM is such an improvement over the last pair. The coaching staff is also a huge improvement. Though Judge was one of the worst coaches I ever saw. Brian Daboll is pretty damn good. I’m really pleased with Don Martindale as the DC also. I was afraid we might lose him.

I still worry about the Giants O-Line, but it is improving at least. We need Bellinger to stay healthy.

3

I’d be more sanguine about my Colts this year if we’d just simply FUCKING PAID JONATHAN TAYLOR!

At least Anthony Richardson should be fun to watch.

4

I don’t expect Bellinger to see a lot of snaps.

5

Yay! Real football. New weekly threads. Trash talk. This is fantastic.

This is like THE story line for the season. The Jets have a good roster and I think Rodgers and Williams will be electric together, assuming they can figure out a way to block someone…anyone. I sort of wish the Bears had some O Lineman they could trade to the Jets and get them to overpay for. Rodgers isn’t close to what he was…but him playing on a roster with a surplus of skill position talent and excellent defense for once might unleash something.

Best case scenario for the Bears is that Jordan Love is below average but with a bunch of tantalizing moments to make the Packers think he can be great with more playing time. Would love to see them extend him and spend the next 3 seasons figuring out what they have. But…with our luck, the fucker will be the next Jalen Hurts.

6

Way back on Monday, KC was -6.5 over Detroit. Now it’s apparent that Chris Jones isn’t anywhere near Arrowhead, and Travis Kelce is questionable with a hyperextended knee. It’s entirely possible that the line will get even smaller before kickoff.

7

Also, the Thursday night game this week should be super interesting. The Chiefs and Mahomes are of course always exciting to watch, but with Kelce hurt…it’s a mystery who Mahomes will be throwing to. Seems likely that it won’t really matter, but will become a story line if they struggle a bit. They are playing the Lions who were the darlings of the offseason. I personally think that hype train is lunacy, but they do have more talent than they’ve had in recent memory. Jared Goff is a guy I will never buy into, but if they come out and beat a Kelce-less Chiefs you can bet the media will run with it.

8

To bet, or not to bet, that is the question.

9

The NFC North is tough to call this year. I wouldn’t be surprised by any team winning it (or any team being last).

10

I really don’t know what to make of the Bears.

We unquestionably have more talent on the roster this season compared to last year, but we have huge question marks on both lines and I have no idea what to expect from Fields. DJ Moore will help, Chase Claypool might help, but the dude really needs to be more accurate and needs to get off his first read. The defensive backfield might be legitimately good, all their recent draft picks in that area seem like stars. But the front 7 is a massive question mark. Definitely start your fantasy RBs when playing the Bears.

Gun to my head, I’d go under 5 wins for the Bears again, but their division definitely got a bit worse so who knows.

11

Can you expand on that please? I know you follow it a lot more than I do at this point. I thought Bellinger was healthy again.

12

What’s “buy into”? Is Goff elite? Nope. But he finished last year in the top 10 of QBS in passing yards, yards per attempt, tds, fewest interceptions, and passer rating. I don’t know what a guy has to do for you to “buy into” him, but Goff is an above average NFL QB who has played quite well over his career.

13

Remember when the Giants traded Kadarius Toney to the Chiefs because Toney was always injured? They got back a third round pick in April’s draft which they then traded to the Raiders for Darren Waller, who is by far the best receiving TE Daniel Jones has ever had.

Unfortunately, Waller seems to be similar to Toney in terms of injuries, but Waller is the guy you need to cross your fingers to stay healthy. I wouldn’t mind seeing Bellinger on the field in 2TE sets, but I expect the Giants to run much more 3WR than 2TE.

I am very excited for Darren Waller, and would have happily traded Toney for Waller straight up, which is essentially what ended up happening.

EDIT: I declare myself King of the Run-on Sentences!

14

I will be rooting for Lamar Jackson, as I have for years. This makes me popular here in (near) Cleveland.

15

Skyy Moore! Skyy Moore! Skyy Moore!

…says the guy who foolishly drafted Skyy Moore instead of Chris Olave in the Dynasty League. *sobs*

16

Thank you, great reasoning.

17

Yeah, the last time the Giants had a talent like this at TE was Jeremy Shockey. (16 years ago!) Can’t wait to see him in action.

18

As a Dolphin fan, hope springs eternal. We have a very fast offense (including rookie running back De’von Achane), and Tua (who might :crossed_fingers:t3: be the real deal) bulked up and studied martial arts to try to stay healthy.

And the team has added defensive coordinator Vic Fangio to coach up a defense that includes some potential studs like Christian Wilkins - playing for a better contract - Bradley Chubb, an up and coming Jalean Phillips, Xavien Howard, and (when healthy) Jalen Ramsey.

But that schedule - oof. Opening in San Diego is probably a good metric at where the team is at.

19

St. Louis Rams :joy: No argument here. I thought my beloved Seahawks already had a pretty good chance, but with Cooper Kupp out with a minor injury, they’re even better.

20

I agree but I always get the jitters with the first game.

At least there’s no chance of Jamaal Adams getting hurt in this game!