Maybe you are just a young fart who hasn’t done well 
I’ve found that I have seemed to progress in a positive way from one boyfriend to the next.
First: Taught me that you cannot depend on someone else to make you happy.
Second: Taught me that someone can’t love you if they don’t love themselves.
Third: Taught me that without communication there is nothing to make a relationship grow.
Fourth: Taught me to appreciate literature, especially Hemingway.
My boyfriend, Flander, has taught me more than the rest combined. He has taught me that being honest and keeping communication open is the only way to stay happy in a relationship. He has taught me to be 100% comfortable with myself. He has taught me that sex can not only be amazing, but can stay amazing if you are truly open with eachother. There’s much more I can add, but I’ll spare you all the mush.
First boyfriend: A deep and abiding appreciation for Linux, and that dating geeks can sometimes be A Bad Thing.
Second boyfriend: How to orgasm. And that if you don’t tell someone how you feel about them, you will lose them, generally to a nasty bitch who decides to hate your guts, merely because you exist.
Third boyfriend: Some people are generally arrogant bastards, and just because the twat proposes to you, doesn’t mean he loves you – he’s doing it to wind Mummy Dearest up, particularly when he starts mentioning his country house, and how Mummy will throw a fit when she meets you. If he’s still visiting his old university on a regular basis, and being secretive about it, he may well still be fucking his ex, and you’d do well to take heed of people who tell you to keep away from him. Oh, and an orgasm is really the most delicious way to be woken up of a morning.
Fourth boyfriend: If he tells you he loves you like a sister, run.
Fifth boyfriend (same guy as second): Men are not psychic. You have to tell them how you feel, so that they tell you how they feel. This is to prevent such scenes as him pitching up at the same conference as you, some four years later, and telling you that he still has feelings for you.
Sixth boyfriend: Mathematics can actually be really interesting. Good friends =/= good boyfriend, and despite the fact that he constantly tells you he loves you, if there’s no support, or intellectual stimulation, the relationship will not work. Long distance relationships are not for every couple.
Seventh boyfriend: How to appreciate life, and everything about it. That scientists can be more rounded people than the ones I’ve met previously. That the best things really do come to those who wait. 
Communication is vital. That being relaxed and happy is far more conducive to my PhD than being stressed out and angry. That a person I’m romantically involved with can talk to me about my work, understand what I do, and not run away or treat me as some sort of freak. Actually, there’s far too much to successfully write about…
First boyfriend: sex is FUN!
Second boyfriend: —
Third boyfriend: Stevie Ray Vaughan rocks!
Fourth boyfriend: Weak people make bad partners.
Fifth boyfriend: If you pursue what you really want, the wait is SO worth it.
Oh yeah, another thing # 5 (soon to be Husband # 1) taught me:
COMPUTER GEEKS ARE SEXY!!!
#1) Just because you’re unpopular and need someone to like you, don’t date just anyone. He’ll treat you like crap after a while. Also, teenage boys, as a species, are probably pricks
#2) Harmless three-night stand. Some boys are much nicer and honest and at least you know where you stand. Also, this is how you drink ouzo, and this is Miles Davis.
#3) Dickheaded three-night stand: sometimes guys, even though they are 22, may act liek they are 14 and act just like #1 and be cowardly about it. Some guys can’t drink too much and perform, even if they’re only 22.
(re: three-night stands, hey, it was the early 90s. It was college. At this time you slept with someone 5 times after parties and then they asked you out on a date)
#4) Guys can be a lot of fun to have around and be pals with even if it has nothing to do with sex a lot of the time. Also, if you suspect that he’s gay when you first meet him, but your mutual friends assure you that he’s not, even if it takes 2 years and an intermediate point where he admits his bisexuality, he may indeed dump you, come out of the closet and hook up with Kevin, that guy who’s into SGI Buddhism in London. Also, you know you love someone if you’re willing to let them go and be happy and stick up for them afterwards and be around if they need you, with no strings attached (moment I grew up and realized that other humans really do exist, I think).
#4) Never let a clinical psych grad student convince you to take the MMPI or whatever it’s called. Whatever you answer, he’ll think you’re bonkers and the relationship will be short.
#5) Current; 8 years on, total. Sometimes you just need to realize you’re both headed in the same direction and stick with it. Also for something to last it may require compromise. Difference can be good. Also, Buzzcocks, Gary Numan, the Damned, Husker Du and all that stuff I wasn’t paying attention to when I was younger.
“To all the girls I’ve loved before…”
I have been given something that I’ve kept close to my heart from every woman I have had the privilege to have known. Whether it was for a night or a decade, I was touched by them all. I tried to make sure that they were as happy for the time as I was. For most, it was all too briefly and we parted knowing it was not meant to be forever.
Most were truly angels… a few were colder and more hurtful than I could have imagined beforehand. I have enjoyed the trip and thank all the beautiful ladies along the way. Thank you so very much. I’ll never forget you.
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**calm kiwi **: “You are sposed to learn stuff from them???” Well, I guess not necessarily, but I try to think of it that way. By the way, I really liked, " …That it is mighty good when you can send them home." That really cracked me up. Regarding several of the boyfriends I’ve had, I can agree!
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Stark Raven Mad: “That most women are often just as clueless as men in relationships.” Amen to that. A lot of women love to talk about how men don’t understand them , or understand anything about women for that matter. I always thought men and women were basically light years away from understanding anything about each other. I honestly don’t think that either sex has the concession on relationship wisdom; we’re all insane.
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Sublight: “Love may come and love may go, but a fuckbuddy is a joy forever.” Bwhahah! That’s classic, and very true. I laughed so hard when I read that. Wish I’d had more of them. (I really only had one, and he was the Jimmy Buffett guy.) Sometimes sex without strings is perfect.
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Harimad-sol: “Bossy people are a pain. Also, lighten up.” The last boyfriend I had before this one was a total, mean, bossy pain in the ass. He was a schoolteacher by profession, and I guess he thought I was one of his elementary school students. The first time I drove five hours to see him, he expressed amazement that I hadn’t gotten lost, and told me that he’d hoped that I would, so that it would teach me not to panic. What a mean man. A pain indeed.
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OhFace: “Taught me that you cannot depend on someone else to make you happy.” I waited for years to find a guy that would make me feel intelligent, pretty, fun, scinitillating, whatever, and finally found out that I need to believe those things about myself if I’m ever really going to be equal partners and happy in a relationship. I’m one old broad. I found that out kind of late in life, but at least I found it out.
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Angua: “Men are not psychic. You have to tell them how you feel, so that they tell you how they feel.” Big, hard lesson to learn, but very important. I cannot tell you how much resentment festered in me, and how much passive-aggressive behavior I expressed as a result, of expecting guys to read my mind. For heaven’s sake, folks, let your significant other know if you need sympathy, attention, whatever! If they seem to ignore you, maybe it’s because they just don’t know because you haven’t told them.
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Stainz: “Sex is FUN!” Seems obvious, but it took my second boyfriend to teach me that. He was inventive and imaginative and quite the actor! I still get awesome chills every time I pass a certain graveyard in Havre de Grace!
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capybara: “…you know you love someone if you’re willing to let them go and be happy and stick up for them afterwards and be around if they need you…” Absolutely. I learned this about the guy I had dated for eleven years, was engaged to, and lost to another gal. Even now, that guy and I are reestablishing our friendship after nine years. I’d do anything for him within reason, if he needed it. (Except date him again, of course. It took some years and some distance to realize that we are definitely not compatible as partners.)
By the way, it’s fascinating to see how many of you are posting emotional/psychological/philosophical gains you’ve had from past relationships. I really didn’t have that in mind when I started this thread, but this is really interesting insight into your thoughts and experiences, and I appreciate your responses!
…they can always serve as a bad example.
I can say with all honesty that I’ve had sex with a true redhead. And a true blonde. Now I can die happy.
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You can fall hard with your first love, but you can also hurt hard (you know what I mean).
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Don’t lower your standards because you think no one else will want you.
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Some men are evil and should be destroyed.
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Some people should remain friends. Or perhaps I/you should have tried harder to repair the relationship. You’ll never know.
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Going on a school retreat does NOT mean you should hook up with someone just so you have someone to make out with during the dances and hold hands with during dinner.
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Don’t fall so easily because s/he sounds ideal. Take your time and really find out if they’re right for you.
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Even if you’ve been friends for years, you may not know how they are in a relationship. Some people are better as friends as they may be assholes when you date them.
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(and current SO) Sometimes your best love is your best friend and you just luck out.
That’s one of the most lovely posts I’ve ever read.
This is a fun thread, love the responses so far. Here’s mine.
First BF: I’ll get back to you on this one.
Second BF: Sometimes rebound relationship can work and be fun. Sometimes the families of those you date become very beloved people in your heart for the rest of your life.
Third BF: Some rebounds are very bad, very, very, very bad. Running away from home, finding myself in jail, and having a stalker for a summer is just a time in my life where I realized how wrecking depression can be.
Fourth BF: Ignoring someone you say you love for no other reason than to make them upset is not something a mentally stable person does. Further terrorizing this person with mental abuse just solidifies the craziness. I also learned it’s never too late to walk away from a bad relationship. But I did learn a lot about cars, boats, and just how boring NASCAR really is.
Fifth BF: Love of tarot cards and Tori Amos. Hot flames burn out quickly. There are men out there who only want you when you don’t want them.
Sixth BF: SEX DOES NOT EQUAL LOVE, NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU TRY TO FOOL YOURSELF. You can get pregnant on your period. Just because you are pregnant and you think you’re in a good relationship, doesn’t mean the other person feels the same about you.
Seventh BF: There are a lot of crazy, self-centered, hypocrites who pretend to be good christians. Sometimes when you become a little leniant on who you date, you end up with a cheating, lying, self-indulgent, verbally abusive prick. Keep your standards high.
Eigth BF: Spending 24 hours a day drunk and stoned is covering up some deeper issues. Or just the person is too stupid to interact with other people on earth so he covers it instead of talking.
Last (and first) BF and now husband: I’ve learned so much from him. Compromise, forgiveness, humility, your spouse really is your best friend, knowing your strengths and weaknesses and capitalizing on those, standing up for myself (still working on that one), sex can be fun especially when you try new things together, I know what really being in love is like, perserverance, I learned just how deep my anger can go and how far I need to be pushed until I bitch slap him, I realized I do want kids one day because I know what great parents we will be, and many more. I learn new things all the time from him and to me, it makes all the hard times worth it.
You got there before me Bites when Provoked , I got a nostalgic tear in my eye just reading it.
Practical things
#1 You don’t have to flip an omlette, you can grill the upper side.
#2 That I really could travel on my own (travel as in trips abroad).
#3 Um, ok not him specifically but with the group of friends, the words to 'The Fields of Athenray".
#4 The correct way to drink Capuccino and, again through the group of friends, how to speak Italian.
Not so practical but still …
#1 That you can live with a pretty impossible situation until they promise to change it, and don’t.
#2 Jealousy and possessiveness are suffocating.
#3 Someone who fits with just one part of who you are really isn’t good enough.
#4 Damn him, tho’ I fight against it, he taught me to be less trusting and awoke a capability for jealousy too.
#5 is more than a boyf, he’s a fiancé and posts here so, to prevent blushes on his part, I’ll keep this to a minimum.
He’s taught me that following a recipe isn’t cheating, in fact it is quite sensible oh and he taught me that the straightdope exsits.
It brought a tear to my eye and a strong wish that I had been Crystal. Or that my mom had been… then she’d actually have been cool at some point. 
Thanks for that, JCoM.
My mom has the definitive South Boston accent, my dad slightly less so, and of my siblings my brother and sister inherited it while my other sister and I did not (I have “Canadian” accent, courtesy of my PEI-born-and-raised grandmother). I find that of my extended family and those I know from the area, this tends to hold true- the older generations have a heavier accent than the younger ones. I think what is typically passed down or picked up among friends is more the lingo (“wicked awesome”) than the accent.
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tomndebb “…they can always serve as a bad example.” Oh, man. That sums it up for the guys I “dated” in between real boyfriends: “real boyfriends”, as in guys who aren’t total and complete screaming horrors. You made a great point. The really terrible boyfriends should definitely teach you what you DON’T want.
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Loopydude: “I can say with all honesty that I’ve had sex with a true redhead. And a true blonde…” Really? How could you tell???
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Penchan: “Don’t lower your standards because you think no one else will want you.” Until very recently, I’ve had a hard time ridding myself of that kind of thinking. I couldn’t understand why I consistently ended up with guys who started out just fine, but ultimately treated me with contempt and disrespect. I am in no way saying that I deserved that. However, if I had thought more of myself I’d have told them to get lost at the first hint of crap, and found someone who’d treated me better because I knew I *deserved * better.
*** John Carter of Mars**, thank you for taking the time to write that post, and for letting us see such a personal part of your past.
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Bites When Provoked: I love your username! I keep thinking of you as a big, tough tabby cat with a notch in his ear, growling at passersby from his cage at the pound, but secretly waiting for just the right person to not be afraid of the “Bites When Provoked” sign and be cool enough to take him home. (I’m sure it’s way off-base, but that’s what I imagine…)
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PinkMarabou: “…Sometimes the families of those you date become very beloved people in your heart for the rest of your life.” That’s true and it makes me sad sometimes. One ex-boyfriend’s mother and grandmother are just the most marvelous women. I miss their freindship, but circumstances make it too awkward for things to be as they were. I used to send his mother an occasional Christmas card, but I stopped soon after my boyfriend and I broke up, as I never received a card in return and had no wish to make her uncomfortable.That was awesome what you wrote about your husband, by the way. What a guy he must be!
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Cat Jones: (Another good feline-based username!) Now, for your gains: “Damn him, tho’ I fight against it, he taught me to be less trusting and awoke a capability for jealousy too.” Yep, that’s what I got out of relationships (many, sadly) wherein I was cheated on mightily. I learned to --what is the expression?-- “trust, but verify.” I learned the wisdom of heeding my instincts about good or bad things in my relationships. Finally, I try to remember that there is a fine line between being wise and guarding myself against hurt, and becoming bitter and constantly suspicious.
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bobkitty: Many cats on the SDMB. Maybe it should be called the Cat Dope Message Board! Anyhow, thanks much for the liguistics info. I really am fascinated by how people speak, the regional expressions they use, and how much our US/North American dialects differ from each other.
As ever, thank you all for responding, and for being so open and making me think as well.
I pay very close attention to roots.
Things I learned from my exes:
Sometimes first impressions are right–if your first impression is he’s a jerk, it’s probably true, even if you end up falling head over heels. Trust me, he’s still a jerk.
Good things I learned: James Bond is cool, skiing is fun, and you can shoot sparklers out of a BB gun. That’s about it–I guess I haven’t learned very much!
Gee. Thanks for the compliments, folks. Where’s the 
smiley when you need it?
I dunno’. I started thinking about Crystal and all of that just sort of spilled out onto the 'puter screen. Meet a neat girl when both of you are right on the edge of turning 17 and it can be a magical time.
Hey MagicEyes: You can shoot sparklers out of a BB gun? I’m heading outside to try it right now.
Special thanks to Creaky, for starting one of the most interesting threads I’ve ever seen here.
Just don’t do what my brother did, and shoot sparklers onto the roof! A little warning–if you do it too often, it melts the plastic inside the barrel. And you have to keep track of where the sparklers land and go get the little wire thingys, so Dad doesn’t have a fit when he mows the lawn and mows over lots of little wire-sparkler-thingys. Otherwise, it’s tons of fun!
I thought of a couple of other things I learned–how to drive a stick shift and how to push-start a car.