Is a ‘blame monkey’ like a scapegoat?
I saw the same when I googled, and initially was worried that maybe my mom is losing it.
But the Wikipedia page says there’s a “cult in her honor” (!!) and that feast is May 4.
… so I guess I have TWO name days! Neat.
Up, fed, puzzled and abluted. It may be the extent of our day.
I swear the tomato plants we bought on Friday have grown two inches since we brought them home. They get early morning sunlight in that window.
The Ms invited relatives over for my birthday. She knows I don’t like doing birthday celebrations. I find them to be just stupid reminders of my mortality. It’s likely my kids won’t make it, as they all work, and traffic coming into the city at rush hour during the week is horrendous. That’s fine with me.
Excellent suggestion. Thank you!
I found this recipe which specifically mentions:
That means that it’s best to use a tequila that you would not mind sipping straight.
Made it with Don Julio reposado. Next time I’ll use fresh lemon. Hubby likes it as well.
Having leftover chili for dinner. I’m a lightweight, so I drank half of my drink and am already feeling it.
In my Midwestern Czech experience it’s mostly a Catholic thing. Ditto for Italian American Catholics in my Boston years.
And the days passed… Oxycodone, two Tylenol, Lidocaine cream (which Lady SCAdian picked up at the drugstore – not as strong as the patches, but OTC) and CBD cream every six hours until Saturday 27/4, when I found that everything had worn off and I needed another dose after ony four and a half hours. Five hours until the next round, and when I woke up the next morning something new had been added: Burning pain down the front of my leg from hip to knee. Ended up going back to the ER that evening, where they started with six mg of morphine, took x-rays of my hip (which this time hurt more than the knee did), gave me another four mg of morphine, and sent me home.
Next morning Lady SCAdian rang the coumadin clinic and got permission for me to use Voltaren gel, an NSAID, usually not used alongside coumadin. Then off to ortho, where I got two cortisone shots – hip and knee. Felt fine the rest of the day (seems the shots also include an anaesthetic), but next morning all the pain was back. I’d been told the cortisone wouldn’t really begin to take effect for three or four days, and sure enough, when I went to the loo Thursday I was able to walk halfway there before the pain got so bad I wanted to scream. Friday afternoon ( I could stay on my feet long enough to take a shower (rather overdue by then 
), but the pain was back Saturday and I’m back to the occasional Tylenol and frequent applications of various ointments whilst staying in bed. 
Sorry about all the complaining. Hope y’all are having a better week than I am!
Just back from Kroger. You may be saying ‘but you just went on Friday and said you broke the bank’. Well, on Friday they were out of blueberries on sale for $1.99/pint so I had to go back today. YAY, they had come in and the hordes hadn’t been in yet to make off with all of them. Frozen blueberries are ok for hot oatmeal or pancakes, that’s what I used yesterday, but they really aren’t that great to put in dry cereal (Hubs likes cheerios). Also picked up the soft top cookies that they were out of on Friday, some Ajax dishwashing liquid and toilet paper that I just was too overwhelmed on Friday to go to those aisles. So, we’re all set until next Friday’s specials.
Oh, I forgot to mention that on Friday I happened past the refrigerated juices and other liquids and saw some various Milo’s products. So, on your recommendations I purchased a gallon of Milo’s Sweet Tea & Lemonade. There’s less than a quarter left and it’s only been 40 hrs.
Lectoring went well. Although there was a lot of coughing and hacking in church and it kind of freaked me out a tad. I was wearing 2 masks and washed hands well when returned home so hoping that none of the germies got inside of me so I don’t pass them along to Hubs.
Need to wash a ton of dishes, workout on NuStep and strip Hubs bed and swiffer his floor (since I didn’t get around to it the other day).
Christos Anesti to rocky and any others who observe.
I shared this with my friend and received a blessed response.
Have as enjoyable a Sunday as you possibly can.
ETA: herald hoping that your leg responds soonest to the cortisone shots and that your pain level reduces significantly to tolerable.
Hi all. Sorry I’ve been gone for so long. Things have been a bit busy and rough lately. To be honest, i haven’t been doing much in the way of social media at all. I just haven’t had the spoons for it. But staying in touch with people that make me feel loved, supported and cared about is necessary for my self- care. I’ll admit that I haven’t read any of what’s up thread because I know that i don’t have the spoons.
So what’s been happening in the pond? As I said, a lot.
On My Neck and Surgery
Slowly, I’m getting my strength back and I’m gaining more mobility in my right arm. I do still get tired while doing things more often but every day is a little better. And at the moment, most of my numbness is in my fingertips so that’s gain. I’ve got an appointment with the surgeon to make sure everything is still going well in a couple weeks.
On my Dad
He’s been at a care facility for a bit but it hasn’t done him any good. He wants to die but won’t admit it. He’s stopped eating, drinking and taking his meds but wouldn’t let us take him off dialysis and move him to hospice. I went to see him on Wednesday and he had lost so much weight. He can barely move. He couldn’t talk to me. I was only there 15 minutes.
Over the last several days, he’s fallen out of bed several times. Yesterday, I have permission to take him off dialysis. It’s the only thing that’s been keeping him alive. I’m not expecting him to last long. I’m as ok as I can be. I just wish I could have honored his wishes but I just couldn’t. It wasn’t good for him or for me. So now I’m just waiting for the phone call to tell me he’s gone.
On my relationships
My partner ended the relationship with me a week ago. Not through any fault of mine and not, I think, because he wanted to but because one of his other partners insisted on it after we found out he’d been telling the three of us different things because he wanted to keep all of us happy. So I’m hurting but trying to stay friends. I’ve got another guy I’m dating but not going to be partnering with. He’s a good friend and I enjoy going out with him, but I’m not feeling romantic towards him.
In a strange turn of events, Hubby is dipping his toes into polyamory. I’m happy for him and hope it works well.
On CtE
First, CtE has changed preferred pronouns to she/they/he. So I’ve been trying to remember more she than they.
Her graduation is a little more than two weeks away. And she is graduating, we’re fairly certain. She has exams the week before and that will determine the rest of it. We’re still trying to get her to get the paperwork done for community college. But we’re making progress.
On BtY
He’s quite probably falling his freshman year. He doesn’t seem to care and, with everything else going on, I haven’t had the energy to make him do what he needs to. I think having to do summer school will make him change his tune. At least I hope so.
On Me
I’m working on getting to focus on my self-care more. Because I have to think about me. I haven’t had a chance to get my tattoo done yet but I am still planning onit in the future. All I can do is try. I did have my former meta color my hair and I’m happy with it. We went slightly different than the last time, but I really like it.
So that’s the news from the pond. I’m going to try to be around a bit more often but I’m not going to force myself. I want this to continue to be a place of refuge for me instead of a requirement that drains me.
hugs to all
Thanks for updating us. I do wonder how you are when you don’t post.
Church was wonderful, as always. Our choir is the best.
The choir leader, her husband and 2 sons are in the choir, and her youngest is amazingly talented. Her oldest is the drummer.
I just had some stuffing for lunch.
My ex( MS) called yesterday; thats a story there, I’ll post it later.
Its cloudy ish and 65.
That’s one helluvan endorsement!
Good morning all! It’s pre-dawn Sun as I sit on my hotel balcony on Miami Beach watching the sky lighten and the thin crescent moon fade. I pulled on some of yesterday’s clothes to avoid being chilled. As you all know, I have lots of experience getting (semi-)dressed silently in the dark. BB is still asleep; something happened to her yesterday that left her just exhausted. I can’t imagine what that was. 
[Break]
It’s now a bit after 3pm. Just after I finished previous paragraph she walked out on the balcony. Naked of course. After an enthusiastic wakeup face-suck, we watched the Sun rise out of the sea a few minutes later then went inside. Summarizing mightily, the day after that was sex, nap, sex, shower, sex, breakfast, sex, change into beachwear, 3-hour = 4-mile beach / park stroll, a snack, a cooling shower, sex, nap, and now I’m up and she’s catching more nap. Planned ext events are sex, shower, sex, dress, swanky dinner, jazz nearby, sex, then sleep overnight.
All that and we have great fun just talking when mouths are not otherwise occupied. My next couple of months may spend every karma point I ever have or will earn, but it sure feels worth it. As I said to a friend: “the contrast with cold, prickly, difficult to please HL could not be more stark.”
Before BB intervened at dawn, I had skimmed much of the last 36 hours in the thread. And had just a just a couple of comments.
FCM: What you’re doing with hospice and MIL is very similar to what we did with my late wife. A conscious cessation of treatment and ~6 months of decline unimpeded by constant doctor visits, treatments, and debilitating side effects. Then a brief 2-day crisis at the end and she was done.
Shoe: You can probably arrange to have your new mobile phone have any area code you want. Even Colorado or Minnesota. Better to make the change before you get assigned the Dallas number. But if not, at least better before you start handing the Dallas number out to people. Fuck Texas.
JtC: Yeah, that mostly packed / the house is almost unlivable stage is the least rewarding. Kinda like I imagine the last month of a pregnancy is. You’re just tired of it, tired of feeling draggy and hurting, and just can hardly wait for it to be over. While “looking forward” to one last ordeal: the actual cross-country stuff-drag or the baby delivery. Then the relief kicks in.
On a comparatively tiny scale I’m in the same spot with my move. Tomorrow = Mon afternoon through Sat upcoming will be a whirlwind of 18 hour days under time pressure. Good thing I’m getting lots of rest on this staycation. 
Everyone: good luck as spring slowly turns into summer.
I concur with this. When we went to buy my cell phone, they were going to give me a Chicago area code and I said I want 313 so they actually have a lot of numbers that can be chosen from. I picked one that I thought would be somewhat easy and have some relevance to prior phone numbers (ie my parents landline & my landline).
Late comments on today’s doins …
And this is a lesson for all of us. What you did was very, very typical, and very very human. I don’t mean at all to think negative thoughts about your decisions. But the outcome was not really the optimal thing to do / have done for the patient. Here’s hoping someone else can learn from your and Dad’s experience and deliver a better result. Good Karma will be served upon you for that.
Polyamory sounds very interesting to me.
But also sounds like an environment rife for these kinds of situations when it isn’t one big group swing, but rather a network of interlocking 1-on-1s or 3-somes. What A wants from B and what C wants from B aren’t compatible, and meanwhile D’s interest in C depends on E, etc. Periodic blow-ups and general instability sounds like a large part of the territory.
I’m sorry you’re getting your life and feelings disrupted through no fault of your own. That’s sucky, and you need lots more un-sucky in your life right now.
I knew a married couple back in St. Louis where after 2 kids and 15+ years of marriage, the woman “came out” as polyamorous. Up to that point they were both super-square. Anyhow, hubby was shocked and dismayed. But decided to let her run with it and see where she ended up. A year or two later she was involved with several guys intermittently but still maybe 1/3rd connected with hubby. About then the kids were old enough to be late high school and so mostly self-tending. So hubby decided to try this poly stuff on for size himself. Which led very quickly to his wife (the one who brought poly into their marriage) demanding a divorce from his no-longer-faithful ass.
He was a good man, but in our much larger circle of very tolerant friends she became persona non grata with that move.
I sure hope that’s a typo at the end. Someone whose pronouns are “she” or “he” depending on the time of day or mood would be hard for the rest of us to get right, even with the utmost goodwill.
That is awesome hair. You do have flamboyance. Bravo!
Question: Can you get arrested for dumping potting soil around bushes and shrubs in your apartment complex? Asking for a friend.
Oh, no. That must be upsetting for sentimental reasons alone. I lost my mom’s wedding ring when I was about 6. I asked if I could try it on and then managed to drop it down the drain when the water was running. I still feel bad about it. (Mom was handy with tools and did check the trap.) I’ll nudge St. Anthony for you.
Are you sure it was a Happy Meal and not a Stabby Meal? It sounds…sinister.
Aww. Dogs live for little blessings like this, don’t they?
Oh, my gosh, TOO funny! I’m definitely going to share this with my son and DIL. I’m glad Bella conked out. Once on the train from Seattle, I sat in front of a lady who kept talking to “Sara.” “Are you sleepy, Sara?” "Are you going to take a nap, Sara? “Do you like being in your cage, Sara?” Sara, it turned out, was her cat in a carrier, and the lady, it turned out, was drunk. She talked to everyone who went by. “Look! This bottle of brandy was full when I got on the train!” “I always get drunk when I’m going home to Centralia.” “Ask me anything about trains!” FINALLY she said, “Guess I’ll put on my headphones and watch a movie.” Whew! Uh, no. “La-AH-ah-la-dah-DUM!” She sang, loudly and off-key, to the background music.
Moral: Sara should have given her suspect cheese.
Sure! I got these. They say they’re for cats, but they work for squirrels, too. If one of 'em screams at you, it’s Norman. Tell him I found his peanut.
Whoa. Pretzel steals hooch. Spot steals mint. Sounds like Mumper pets are planning to open their own bar. (Holy crap. Autocorrect turned bar to bra.)
See above. I thought the rain would kind of blend it into the soil. It didn’t.
The recipe notes say that most people think they were named after the bomber, but they really were named after the music group. 
Oh, my gosh, I still have 21 posts to go in order to be caught up. I’ll have to post again later.
In this case, it actually was. I held on to his wishes for a long as I could. I’d considered putting my life on hold to go up and take care of him until he was gone, but he didn’t want that. I was going to pay all his bills when medicaid was going to take his limited income so he could go in his time. But when the nurse called me on Saturday morning to tell me that his blood pressure was 70/50 (again) and that he fell out of bed (again) and that he was having visual hallucinations, I thought the kinder option was to make the decision I did. Because the only thing keeping him alive is the dialysis. I had to weigh not only his health and the pain he was constantly in but my own mental health because this was killing me to see him on pain and not really fighting but not willing to say good-bye.
It can be, but you can also have that in monogamous relationships. Partners can be jealous of friends and insist they are cut out of the partner’s life. For both mono and poly, communication and honesty are key. The only difference is the number of people you’re communicating with. I’ve got some friends that have been in poly relationships that have lasted decades. Just like anything in life, if it’s something you want badly enough, you have to put the work in to make it happen. It still may not work out, but that, too, is life.
She very much should have. It sounds too me like she was using poly as a chance to have her cake and eat it too. I don’t know the people involved, of course, but it sounds like she really hasn’t done the work to make herself a good poly partner.
Nope, it’s not. 
Most of the time she uses she or they but occasionally does feel more male. She’s honestly ok worth any of them as long as it isn’t said with malice. I’ve got a very considerate, thoughtful kid.
Thanks for the compliment on the hair.
Now I’m headed to my friend’s house to get all the hugs since i just got the call saying that Dad is getting more active, which means the end is near.
Howdy Y’all! I managed to preside over Morning Prayer without settin’ fire to the church house, so I’m takin’ the win. A very good and large brunch was then consumed. Then it was back to da cave for a margarita (hey, gotta celebrate the fakish Mexican holiday!) followed by nappage. I am considerin’ some popcorn and another margarita for Netflix and chill time.
It reminded me of Apollo 13, where Marilyn Lovell’s ring slipped off in the shower and went down the drain. She took it as a bad omen.
Shopping for one, I don’t either. I have belonged to Sam’s when it was a benefit where I worked and when I smoked, the cigarette prices were low enough to have paid for a membership.
IANAL, but I doubt it. However, your complex may give you a handslap / fine for it.
Sunday chores done, Sunday dinner (salmon patties, Indian fried cabbage and colomorbus) made / et. Chilling in the studio until bedtime. Such excitement!
Yup.
True 'dat.
Having never birthed a human, but been in more than my fair share of moves … this was a hilarious analogy.
Arrested?
Doubt it.
Fussed at?
… well, they’d hafta catch you in the act and/or have compelling video evidence.
You WERE wearing a black hoodie and/or ninja mask, yes?
Thank you, already in my Amazon cart.
That’s gonna be one helluva watering hole.
That was my exact thought when I read ^^ too. Selfish much?
In that case, we all cool.
If someone wants to switch around that fast … honey, I might forget your damn name, I can’t keep up with that changing pronouns shit, too.
But if CtE and I worked together, I’d try … okay, honestly, I’d give up within an hour and go with, “Uh, hey … you?”
Not out of spite, just sheer forgetfulness coupled with, sweetheart, I got other stuff to try to remember.
Like, why the hell did I go into the walk-in? I came here for … 
I was a bit self-conscious about my hair going into Wal-Mart, so I tied on my new rainbow kerchief.
Schlepping back out to my car (with an absolutely ridiculous amount of rattie food and supplies, plus treats for the cat and oh, yeah, I guess a bit of food for me) I heard a little girl’s voice sing out across the filthy parking lot: “I like the rainbow on your head!”
Me, looking around: “??”
Small child, waving at me:
Me: “Aww, thank you, sweetie. You made my day!”
Made eye contact with Mom who was loading stuff into the trunk, and gave HER a big smile. She raised a nice kid.