I dunno. We were talking last night, and I tried to express my frustration, but I think it went over his head. We were talking about a lot of things at once and it was late. We just have some core differences in how we work, as people, and it creates conflict at times. The thing is I don’t remember this really being a conflict until we had a child. I think a part of him is just desperate for our son to have “normal” childhood experiences which in his family is defined by social events and birthday parties. For my part, I don’t remember many birthday parties beyond hanging out with my grandparents, aunts and uncles. I had one when I was like ten, and it was overrated. So I don’t really feel these are critical to the experience of childhood. He came from a huge family, he has 20 first cousins, so I think his idea of normal and mine are just different.
He has some cute ideas, though. He wants to hand out number stickers for all the kids to wear.
I’m told that Havarti is the same as butterkase. If so, it’s available almost everywhere. I enjoy the plain kind but there’s one with dill which I really like on sandwiches and I don’t even really like dill.
The truth is that butterkäse tastes like a fancy version of mass-market processed dairy (think American cheese) that you love, but know you shouldn’t. Mild and intense at the same time, it’s like a more complex, nuanced version of Havarti.
Is your husband also struggling with this conflict, or is this particular burden entirely on you?
I ran outta warm socks. (The thin cotton ones are fine for summer, not so much now.)
It’s possible (likely?) that her prior health issues gave her a different outcome that yours.
… or she needs a new eye doc.
Man, if ever there was a good reason for couples therapy. A mediator could help you figure out how best to navigate these differences.
But from my perspective, if you’re feeling constantly overwhelmed, and he’s not, then there’s a serious imbalance.
If you’re both overwhelmed, then something’s gotta give & be demoted to non-essential.
Drowsy but couldn’t sleep, so busted out a parka and the shovel. Got the worst part right by the street, where the plows line up all the ice chunks, cleared away. Warming up my car now (while I cool off - I overheat fast) and gonna make an exploratory trip to the Corner Sto’ for booze critical cold-weather supplies.
The snow has stopped. The sun is out. The wind chill is negative one. I could go to CVS and pick up my prescription but I can do that tomorrow. I didn’t get up til 9. Today might be another sluggo day.
For those who wanted pix of the trip. I’m sorry my ugly mug is in so many of them, but I didn’t have anybody prettier to take pix of. And yes, wordy I did remember to include the Brontosaurus pic .
It’s late morning on Sat, the sun is shining, a few puffy clouds are in evidence and the temp is 83/28, but is expected to cool a bit and become drizzly later.
I’ll try to catch up on the thread over the course of the day. But 50 posts in 16 hours is a lot. Plus whatever else you Chatty Cathies decide to contribute between now and then.
Shit, that was fast.
Silver lining to the winter crap on the road is … some of the smaller potholes have been filled in by passing pickup truck traffic with a packed sand-ice mixture, so a normally extremely bumpy ride turned into a game of “ah, just avoid the big 'uns” which is much easier.
Monkey desperately wanted OUT. I explained that it’s cold & blustery, but he wasn’t having it. It occurred to me that sitting behind an opaque door, without the benefit of Teh Interwebz and its weather oracles, he doesn’t know!
… so I opened the door.
Monkey: “Yay! Freedo— what. the. fuck.”
(I’ve given him some Squeezy-Crack ™ to soothe his troubled soul.)
The last four years we’ve both been more or less in a state of perpetual overwhelm. It was just one thing after another, the most recent being the exhausting last year trying to get my son diagnosed and into the proper services. I think my husband took it harder than me, because he refused to do anything for himself, whereas I have been trying since the beginning to carve out time for self-care. In December we talked about our goals for the next year, and I emphasized the need for him to do more things for self-care, and he agreed he really needed it, so he is going to start up a D&D group (which I am not participating in.) I encouraged him to do this. He is much easier to get along with, much happier, now that he is doing for himself. In a sense, this sudden need to do more things is a sign of him blossoming into a more balanced and healthy individual after four years of denying himself anything he wanted to do.
I don’t want to squelch that. But I cope in different ways than he does.
He tends to be aware of my needs. Sometimes on the weekends he takes our son somewhere out of the house so I can have some alone time. He knows two parties are a big ask.
I suspect he is a little bit on the spectrum himself. Not anything that would register at clinical levels, I don’t think, but we just have this disconnect sometimes where he doesn’t know how to communicate in certain contexts without coming off as abrasive. We had a long talk about that. He is working on it.
There’s also a “me” problem - I hate, I fucking hate, I mean fucking hate my schedule changing on short notice. And there’s been a lot of that lately.
I don’t think it’s anything we can’t work out ourselves. I think we communicate better than most, we’re just in a really challenging situation right now, so it’s going to take time.
Much success this morning. We got some collage frames for pics for MIL, picked up FCD’s tablet (on sale at Target) as well as a micro SD from Best Buy, then on the way home, Higgs was done at the groomer, so we picked her up.
It doesn’t look like Mom et al will be leaving Martinique any time soon. My sister and her traveling buddy are back at the hotel till they can visit Mom at 3. I doubt I’ll hear anything for a while. Just gonna keep hoping that it’s not super bad and it’s just a matter of tweaking meds again.
I’m not sure how old your son is, but is he able to communicate his preferences? IIRC, he’s non-verbal, but there are other ways of communication.
I’m sorry to hear of your sister’s diagnosis nellie. I hope that a second opinion will give more hope.
Still sending virtual hugs to you, your mom and sister Mooooom.
Up, caffeinated, breakfasted, KP done and fixing to take care of some studio chores before suiting up to go to Tar-jay / CVS for prescriptions. I kind of dread this one, since I’ll have to go through the new insurance dance.
He’s going to be four in March. He’s verbal, but not conversational. He might grasp the question of whether or not he wants a party, I’m not sure. My husband points out that he always has a great time at the cousins’ birthday parties, which is true, but it isn’t because of the other kids. It’s because he gets the opportunity to stand in a wind tunnel or go down an inflatable slide or something. Sometimes I think I’m being unreasonable because I’m such an introvert and I’m so tired of these parties. He has so many cousins, they seem endless.
Oh, I can see I wasn’t clear. She’s never had a corneal transplant. She had retinal reattachment surgery. Then she developed an ulcer on her cornea, which isn’t healing. IF the current treatment doesn’t work, THEN she’ll need a transplant. Our conditions are not the same, and I’m no expert, but she and my bro are overwhelmed, and if they need me, I’ll go.
Agreed! I’m urging a second opinion.
Toaster Strudels are fire. My kids loved them. I used to make hearts or smiley faces with the icing packets on their strudels. I once had two students get in a heated argument over the fact one of them microwaved her Toaster Strudels. so all the cool kids are eating them.
Spicey, would a birthday party (or two) overwhelm Wee Weasel? That’s be my concern. I hope you and Mr. Spice can work something out.
I wish I could use that excuse, but depending on the venue, probably not. He’s been surprisingly good at other kids’ parties. Only question is, if he does get overwhelmed, what then? We leave his own birthday party? He can usually make it a couple hours before he starts to get overstimulated, but there’s no guarantee.
ETA: I should probably mention that I have a lot of social anxiety.
I just spent some time looking at recipes. Butterkase calls for 1/64th tsp. of Geotrichum Candidum which is: "Geotrichum Candidum (GEO17) mold powder will produce a white to creamy surface color and plays a significant role in the ripening process for surface ripened cheese including soft ripened and washed rind cheese. It influences the appearance, structure and flavor of Brie and Camembert, along with a variety of goat cheese. It can also help prevent the skin from slipping off the surface of your cheese.
In red smear cheeses it helps neutralize the cheese surface and stimulates the development of desired, acid-sensitive flora such as P. Candidum.
Geotrichum can also be used in conjunction with Brevibacterium linens to create ideal conditions for the formation of a surface smear on washed rind cheese. "
They both are brined and then salt cured, but the Geotrichum in the Butterkase is what forms the nice rind and matures the flavor.
I need to think about this. A lot. I can’t risk releasing wild mold spores in my “cave” and we don’t have room for another cave aka Macgyvered fridge in the brewing room. But…I’ve been wanting to start playing with molds and funguses for quite a while and Butterkase looks like a simple cheese to start with and I will need to learn how Geotrichum reacts someday because it is used in so many stinky cheeses.
All this talk about cheese, I may pick up some poblano chiles on the way home from TJ’s. And some more eggs. It’s been a while since I’ve made chiles relleno.
Afternoon all. Did make it to the gym for about 50 minutes of pedaling, so in about an hour I’ll leave to referee/coach indoor soccer so that should make for a fairly active day for me. Bright, clear sky but only 40F outside, so good day for indoor activities.
I know very little about eyes, cheese, birthday parties, or working out differences with your soulmate, so please accept many virtual hugs in their place from me.
Need to go unload the dryer (my shirts get sweaty pedaling that bike for 15-20 minutes straight and then sitting in a sauna for an additional 25 minutes) and get the soccer gear on. Have a good afternoon all.
Started Typing: 12:53 PM ET
Clicked Reply: 1:42 PM ET
So far today I’ve paid bills, gone to a personal training session, made a quick stop at the grocery store on the way home to buy Gatorade Zero (those Pepperidge Farm cookies jumped in my cart!), taken the dog for a walk, and caught up on volunteer-related administrivia. I feel like that’s quite enough for a Saturday, so as soon as I finish this post I’ll be relocating to the living room for lunch and some Northern Exposure episodes. And cookies.
It is so windy today! The morning started off gray and rainy, but by the time I left the gym (11am) the sun was out and now it’s clear but quite gusty. The current 48°F is just one degree below the forecasted high, but the wind chill makes it feel more like 40. I’ll be very happy to spend the rest of the day indoors.
I have no plans tomorrow, which is fine with me because the upcoming week/weekend will be busy: Tuesday evening is personal training, Thursday night I’m (probably) going to DC for some jazz, Saturday morning is personal training, Saturday night I’m going to DC for more jazz (same venue, funnily enough), and Sunday afternoon I’m participating in a jazz vocal workshop. I used to perform somewhat regulary but haven’t sung in front of anyone since July, so I’m looking forward to finding out just how rusty I am. Heh.
I’ll be having mozarella sticks for lunch. I got the urge/picked them up while in the grocery store, and it seems that my gnawin’ and cravin’ is fitting in nicely with the thread conversation. I even got smart and preheated the oven before I started typing.
My bachelor’s degree is in Communications, and radio broadcasting was actually my minor. I was a DJ at my college station all four years, and senior year I was also the station manager. I interned at a Baltimore oldies station in the summers, and had a part-time job as a board operator there when I graduated in '93 – but shortly afterwards they automated a bunch of their weekend programming, thereby drastically reducing their need for board operators, and as the newest hire I was the first to be let go. I was never able to find another entry-level radio position. After temping/floudering for five years (including my time at the MD State Highway Adminstration) I discovered technical writing and the rest was history, but radio was my first love. I have a decent “radio voice” and enjoyed being on the air, but I never wanted to be talent: my heart was in the production booth. Turns out I dodged a bullet, though, because automation continued to increase and then satellite radio all but killed terrestrial stations. Radio soon became a super tough industry, and it was never that easy to begin with.
Most places I’ve worked have done that, but my company does things a little differently: we can float any company holiday as long as the holiday time is taken (a) in 8-hour increments, (b) after the holiday’s date, and (c) before the end of the calendar year. And we need our manager’s approval. Also, we don’t get all of the federal holidays: Presidents Day, Juneteenth, and Columbus Day aren’t company holidays. But we get two “personal holiday” days a year, which can be used for two of those holidays without prior approval (I tend to work on those days and treat the 16 hours as just additional leave). It’s kind of annoying that we can’t float/take partial holidays, but it doesn’t come up very often for me.
Ok, prepare to stand in awe! I sandblasted a lamp today!
We had a couple of old table lamps that my mom gave us ages ago. They’ve been sitting in the garage corroding and collecting crud. So FCD disassembled them and I blasted the crud off them. He reassembled them minus one section so they’re sized better for bedside tables. I’ll try to remember to post a pic when we take them over.
I remembered mi esposa has some Velveeta in the fridge, so I got a jar of salsa. And some Juanita’s corn tortilla chips. Gluten-Free, yet! :rotfl:
I bought four large pasilla chiles. I don’t know if I’ll make them all (or when). I decided to go with ‘Mexican blend’ shredded cheese instead of cotija. One of Wifey, RN’s patients gave her a can or two of organic refried beans a while back. So we can have chiles relleno, refried beans, and chips, and mi esposa can make cheese dip if she wants to.
It’s 20º Ferret Height, though TWC says it’s only 18º. The sun is shining and there’s no wind (here), so it feels positively balmy! I’ve decided I’m going to wear my Irvin jacket more often, even when it warms up.
.
I even got smart and preheated the oven before I started typing.
:rotfl: