One trick pony homosexuals

The BBQ Pit
81

phew This thread got a lot of replies in not too much time. It almost feels like weeks ago that Esprix said :

The difference, of course, is that I realized my OP was more inflammatory that I had originally intended it. I apologized and told you that you were one of the best posters on these boards. Note that I did not say these things to appease you; I meant them.

Your reaction was to ignore the apology, ignore the compliment, and tell me to go fuck myself. That doesn’t exactly make you seem like the model of civility. (Unless, of course, you had already started typing your post when I apologized, in which case your response would be appropriate and the comments I just made woulde be rendered void.)

Well, I just felt I should inform you that this is the image you may presenting to a casual observer. From the looks of this thread, there are more than a couple people who see it that way too.

I know you’re not one dimensional. I know you’re not a one trick pony. It just seems like that sometimes. I figured you hadn’t intended to come off that way and that maybe you hadn’t realized that that was how many people were viewing you. Maybe an email would have been more appropriate. Perhaps the posters who think I should have just minded my own business in the first place are correct. Hell, I don’t know.

Fact is, I like you Esprix. I’m sorry if you felt insulted by my OP. I think matt had a very valid point when he said that you are so vocal about the gay stuff that it seems to drown out your other posts in the eyes of some people.

Couldn’t have anything to do with the fact that all three threads have been in your sig for the last six months, could it? :slight_smile:

82

waterj2: Hell, I’ve still got to move to Rhode Island for six months first.

He-eyy! [Cranston accent]Welcum to Ro Dilun![/Cranston accent] If libertarians are allowed to accept drinks from peaceful honest liberals, I’ll buy ya one. :slight_smile:

83

There’s more than one accent in RI? Yeah, I’ll be in Newport Jan. 29th for learning how to drive a ship. As long as it doesn’t involve coercion, I think libertarians are pretty open-minded about who buys whom drinks. But I’ll actually be able to afford my own then.

27 days, 17 hours and 8 minutes until commissioning. Paranoia and excitement have both set in. Motivation no longer exists. You can all now resume talking about Esprix.

84

sigh
I didn’t appologize to Esprix alone per se-I appologized, because of what Matt said-I didn’t want ANYONE to think I was playing I’m more picked on than you. I admit it-I’m not a total bitch, contrary to what I want people to think-I’m a major bleeding heart and one of my pet peeves is seeing people get their feelings hurt. Okay? I wanted to make sure that what I said was not misunderstood, or meant to be an insult or what have you. I’m NOT kissing anyone’s ass, unless they want me too :wink: (Meet me later…)

Okay: I don’t like to see anyone discriminated against, for any reason other than being an asshole, okay? I hate bullies and people who think that belittling others makes them feel better. THOSE people have always pissed me off, because I remember the high school mentality-everyone was so shitty and nasty and cruel to one another. It sucks. For no matter what the reason is (homosexuality, socio-economic status, race, color, gender, physical appearance, weight, height, wearing glasses, grades, etc), it fucking HURTS. Why should it be okay to pick on anyone? (Let me just say: this is MY pet peeve-Bullying. I utterly and stomach churningly LOATHE bullies. Always have, always will.)

And I wanted to make perfectly clear, that I do not feel that anyone here is flaunting anything. (My idea of flaunting one’s homosexuality would be if someone literally walked down the street and screamed “I"m GAY!” in everyone’s face. LITERALLY.-actually, come to think of it, that’d be kinda funny!) I don’t think that talking about dates, or kissing, or flirting is “flaunting” one’s sexuality. Hey, whatever floats your boat.

As for being a martyr, well, that’s the norm around here…someone’s always playing the poor me pity me game. LOTS of people do it-all the fucking time. I’m probably guilty of it too. Oh well.

I just got the impression that sometimes, maybe, oh, say Esprix, feels that he has to be on the defensive 24/7/365. Like strike at them before they strike at me. I know, I used to be that way. In seventh grade, I remember being picked on so much, that when this kid came to our school and one of his first days he came up to me and said Hi, how are you, I totally froze and just glared at him and mumbled. I didn’t trust anyone to be nice to me. I took every attempt anyone made to be friendly as suspicious.

I mean, I just wonder sometimes if people don’t read into things too much, or take them too personally. If there is REAL, TRUE injustice, yes, speak out. But always think first, because it might not be worth it. Was it worth it to go postal on some moron who said, “Hey, Coffin Girl? Fuck any dead people lately?” Or rather, should I save my energy to for the morons who kept destroying my personal property and making my little sister cry on the bus everyday?

I guess it’s just, choose your battles.
And if my feeling bad about possibly hurting someone makes me a wimp and an asskisser, so be it. The world might be a hell of a lot better if people took some time and consideration to actually THINK about how their actions might affect other people.

85

Esprix, again I must say I admire you for what you have done with the AtGG threads. They were very informative and I’m sure a lot of people have learned from it a whole lot.
What I wanted to say with my earlier post to ‘be the better man’ is not so much to ignore it, but to let some of it slide once in a while.
Don’t you think that if you mention every injustice to the general public that people get jaded quite easily? I can assure you that I do. And I’m even gay myself! You can see it in this thread. Just because you mention so many things in your previous threads, people are opening a thread especially to say how tired they are of it. And if this happens on such a gay tolerant board as this one, how do you think the general, less tolerant world react to it?
I see it with my friends for example. All of them know of my orientation and none of them have a problem with it. Banter and fun flows happily in both directions. However, even though they are extremely tolerant (and in my eyes a great reflection of the general public), they too get tired of all the ‘awareness’ that gay people try to get for themselves. ‘So OK, you dig men, but that doesn’t make you any different than any of us.’

OK, I’m driving on a bit here. I think what I really want to say is that it is great to let the public know about the injustice against gays/blacks/impaired* but do it too much and people stop to listen, and that is exactly what happened here.

*) Strike when n/a

86

Y’know, for the past week or so, about 90% of my RL conversations have involved the bowel movements of my new pet rabbits…

87

Sorry about that Esprix…thought it was fair game since you’d used it in another thread. Seems to be the exact same thing you had done to Pepper, taken something very personal and used it to ridicule her religion. Creepy isn’t it? So you mean it’s OK for you but not me? Months ago when I came to SDMB I wouldn’t have dreamed of using something intimate and personal to ridicule or throw up to someone for gain in a debate. Guess hanging around the SDMB and folks like you have changed that. Why do you think I don’t tell my personal business in here that often? I really was of the mind that those things should be left alone by people of good manners. Which is why I felt you had none in the first place. Excuse me guess I forgot mine.

Goboy I’m sorry you take issue with my use of the “n” word. Why is that? Because I have the guts to actually say it out loud? I hear it enough in casual conversation all the time. I have to sit by and watch white people behave like they don’t do these things then turn around later in private conversation and say them. It’s been going on around me all my life. Most of the people that I associate with intimately think like I do on this subject. It isn’t a problem. But you’d be surprised, out here in redneck land where I live how often casual aquaintances will say racist things to me just assuming that I don’t mind. Sometimes I call them on it, sometimes I don’t. I’ve learned to guage just who I can dress down for this and who I can’t. Or maybe who it might be worth calling on it and who it would just be a waste of breath. I’ve had redneck assholes my husband worked with rant at me in my own home because I’ve asked them not to use that language in my house. One of them actually had the nerve to tell my husband to “control his big mouthed, “n” loving wife”! (I’ll refrain from using it since it bothers you.) I don’t know whether you realize it or not but it isn’t always easy to go against popular opinion. Oh yeah, you’re gay so perhaps you do know. My own mother rants about blacks taking over and blah, blah, blah all the time. I can’t be around her sometimes because it’s almost as though she does it on purpose just to anger me. Think I’m sanctamonious, about what? I could go around and pretend all the time that I agree with this bullshit. I’m not anyone special. I can’t save the world from itself. Why shouldn’t I just give in play along. I’m not even educated. But damnit all, for the most part I just love people, all of them, and intolerance goes against something so basic to my nature that I just can’t resist. I don’t know why I felt this way since I was a small child. So if I tend to get a little self righteous at times it isn’t because I see myself as perfect. Heaven knows I’ve done things, and said things and kept my mouth shut when I should have speken up enough times to have plenty of guilt. It’s just that there is something inside me that tells me it’s important for me to see us all as special and worthy. My empathy for others has gotten me into some pretty big messes over my life during my interpersonal relationships. But I just don’t seem to be anyway about this but how I am. If I were completely illiterate and raised by wolves I think intolerance and lack of empathy would go against my very nature. Am I wrong to think that this way?

Needsknow

88

I don’t wish to hijack, but this needs to be addressed.

Simply put, the use of that word marks the speaker as trash. It doesn’t matter how fine a family you may come from, how much or little education you have received, or how much money you have; the use of THAT word puts the speaker outside the pale of civilization. If you were as empathetic as you claim, you would understand this.

And, to be blunt, I don’t really see empathy or concern for the feelings of others in your posts. Clearly, you have no regard for Esprix’s feelings. I do sense a strong undercurrent of inchoate rage and self-pity in your posts.
For example:

N2K, I’m sure that there must be a county counselling facility where you can get a handle on your feelings. I wish you luck in getting help.

89

A few more replies:

Anthracite, honey, at this point I feel your pain. Does that mean you and I should start the One Trick Pony Club? You could be the Secretary In Charge of Apologies, and I’ll be the Grand Gay Poobah (Zette, of course, doesn’t get a job ;)).

So this has colored your view so vehemently since?

Actually, I have no problems with sex and religion at all - being Unitarian Universalist kind of delimits those kinds of things. I think Christianity has a problem with sexuality, sure, but that’s not news to anyone.

Oh, so now I’m to be chastized for not posting to the “right” threads? :confused:

As already pointed out, we’re already there, but thanks for the invite anyway.

waterj2: D’oh! I keep thinking you’re already there. Guess now I owe you two beers upon your arrival. :wink:

Scylla, would you like to be Minister of Conservatism? The job’s open (at least until the recount :D).

Coldfire: Dykes, fjords - they’re all the same to us ignorant 'mericans. Want to open up our Dutch Division?

I read your apology, but was still fairly honked off at the OP and its tone (and still am). Just because you apologize doesn’t mean it allays my feelings, nor does it mean I have to accept it, nor do I have to accept it immediately. You said what you said, posted it in public, and it still hurts me. If you posted the OP in haste, surely I’m entitled to the same luxury, as I’m the one who was the target of your ire and got hurt by it.

Evidently. I can feel the love.

Gee, ya think?

So it’s my responsibility to change this? It’s my fault people are that narrow-minded? This seems to be what the OP implies.

I will take this as a jibe since it had a :slight_smile: after it and assume you’re not also accusing me of being a self-aggrandizer, but as a friend of mine likes to say, “When people say, ‘Just kidding,’ there’s always a little part of it that’s not.”

Excuse me? “Strike at them before they strike at me?” To my knowledge I have not exhibited this behavior on this board. (Once again, let me thank neutronstar for opening up this “let’s rag on Esprix” thread - it’s so touching, I think I may cry… I might also add that I am now extremely self-conscious about what I post and where I post it - I almost didn’t post to the new posts in the “ATGG” thread this morning.)

What on earth are you talking about?

For the same reasons I don’t tell mine that often, I’d wager.

Esprix

90

Now you’re actually suggesting that I’m mentally ill. Don’t you think that’s going a little bit too far? As for Esprix, no I don’t have much sympathy for his feelings. When I first came here he publicly ridiculed a friend for admitting to something personal of a sexual nature. Used it against her in a bid to make a point about his sexual nature and her religion, which she struggles with evidently. (And whine again about the intolerance toward his.) I suggested to him then that it wasn’t a very kind thing to do to a friend. Of course he blasted me for it and she backed him up. So it didn’t take long for me to realize that it wouldn’t do me much good to suggest to anyone here that good manners and empathy towards heartfelt feelings is something decent people adhere too. Now I’ve hung around in here long enough to start behaving that way myself.

I’m not in self pity mode about my convictions. Perhaps you don’t have any idea of type of enviornment that I have to operate in on a daily basis. Work is fine, no problem there. But when I go home at night I go home to trucks with gun racks, Tennese Battle flags, and “Heritage not Hate” stickers. I’m not necessarily angry but I’m a fish out of water. Yes, I’d love to move but I can’t afford it. And I do love some things about my town the schools are good, the taxes are low, and rent is still cheap. (1# draw)

It scares me Goboy. Haven’t you noticed how dog eat dog people have started to become? So many people ranting and raving about people getting special treatment. Terrified that someone might get a little help up, that it in some way might hurt them. Hasn’t it bothered you at all that so many Christians seem to find people like you a dangerous threat to them? I don’t understand why? What’s it hurt if they just let you alone to live your life, they figure you’re going to hell anyway. But not they either want to cure you of push you back into the closet. And their numbers are growing, or at least it seems they are. Seems the number of people who believe black people are squandering their opportunities are growing too. How do they know this for sure? And where does this attitude come from? I just don’t understand. How has it hurt society for us to try and include everyone here and make us equal? But we have a growing segment of people that seem to resent helping people. And you’re telling me I’m angry and in need of therapy?

Needs2know

91

Okay, two parts to this reply.

One, to Esprix. It’s taken me over a year to get to this point on this board, but it’s still valid. People will think whatever they want about you. Fuck 'em. Post WHAT you want, WHERE you want. And hugs, hon.

Two, to Needs2know. First off, that comment on Esprix in yer last post was so damn nebulous as to be worthless. If the OP in that thread backed him up, then WHO THE FUCK CARES? And if you were so damn empathetic, being here wouldn’t change you. See purplebear for an example. Or Zette. (Zette even posts in the PIT and is empathetic! Oh my GOD!) :rolleyes:

Second, I have NO fucking sympathy for what you go home to. My parents live in Memphis, Tennessee. They see the SAME shit you do every day. The people they live with are ignorant and PROUD of it. They moved there from Washington DC, so they’re a fish out of water too. And they have NEVER use the n-word. So that’s not an excuse. Hell, my grandfather, who in some ways is a TERRIBLE racist (he’s Archie Bunker personified, I swear…) doesn’t use it. All your use does is prove how ignorant you are.

And finally, if you’re so damn concerned about everything you listed in that last paragraph of yours (Christians hating gays, etc), then you’d understand why Esprix is so dman pissed off about stuff, and posts it. Just a thought.

92

Horsefeathers. I said I detected rage and self-pity in yourposts and suggested that you seek some counselling to resolve your feelings. Having unresolved anger isn’t mental illness, it’s just part of being human. We all need to talk out our feelings at one time or another. I’ve been there myself, so I can (get this) empathize with you.

Newsflash–There are intolerant jerks in America. There always have been, there always will be. So what? Am I going to let myself be defined by them? Hell, no! There’s nothing to cure–you might as well cure me of being brown haired, although Mother Nature seems to be taking care of that :)–
and nobody is going to push me in the closet.

You see, I don’t see myself as a victim. I’m sure not happy about social injustice, but instead of letting it warp me, I do what I can to change it. I believe the best way to frustrate bigots and homophobes is to be happy, to show them that no amount of hate is going to keep me from enjoying life. I also believe that being a mensch in my daily life–keeping promises, being kind, working hard–will do more to show the hets who meet me that gays are good folk than any number of marches.

I also don’t let being gay define me. Sure, my sexuality is an important part of my life, but it’s only one aspect of my personality. I’m also Goboy the horror movie fan; Goboy the weightlifter; Goboy the pet owner; Goboy the history buff; and Goboy the son, brother, and uncle.

In additon, I was born in the Ozarks and I was raised in rural Kentucky and Tennessee, so don’t cry to me about how hard it is to live in small Southern towns. There are plenty of beer-swilling, truck-driving, rednecks, but there are also many educated, civilized, and kind people living in small towns, too.

93

{sigh} If we’re going to bring up this old chestnut, I suggest people read the thread and draw their own conclusions. I said then and I say now that you were reading into my question - she started an “Ask the Mormon” thread, opened herself up to questions, she had already talked about her sexual fantasies, and I wanted to know how she reconciled these two things. That’s all. No ulterior motive on my part, no trying to make a point about my own sexuality, no decrying how oppressed I am. She didn’t take offense, I didn’t mean any offense, and you’re still on about it when it was really none of your fucking business from the get-go anyway (and I still don’t get how this is somehow “throwing it in her face”). And, as I’ve also said, I’d forgotten about the entire exchange, but your ire seems not to have dulled much, since you still hate me. So who’s got the problem?

And take your “cut me some slack, my life is horrible” schtick somewhere else - we all gots problems. Deal with it. The world sucks, we do our best in our part of it, and hope we make a difference.

Esprix

94

Thanks for the kind words, Falcon m’dear.

Esprix

95

[fancy crown on] May I just take this opportunity to remind everyone that I, Zette, was voted “most empathetic” last year in the Opal polls. Hail to the queen! Bow to my greatness! Bwaaahaaaa! [/fancy crown off]

Sorry, sometimes it just all goes to my head. Carry on. :slight_smile:
Zette
(now, if only I weren’t unemployed! :grumble, grumble: )

96

Just a question for Needs2know. You said:

[quote]
I don’t like Esprix, never have since I came here. Don’t read his threads or post to them. [/qoute]
and

Ummmm…you’ve made 5 or 6 long posts to this thread alone. Exactly how much do you comment on a person or topic that you actually DO find interesting?

Oh, and Esprix, Don’t take the comments of a minority of folks too personally. Most of us here love you, and I even heard somewhere that you rock. Can’t remember where, though.

97

Geeze a Pete! I hate the little redneck town I live in but I challenge anyone to find anywhere here where I have thrown a pity party about my lot in life. Every now and then I might make some comment about being single, trying to raise a couple of kids and being broke, but it isn’t a whine. And yes…Goboy I have noticed that you are a man with dignity. Yes I’ve noted how well spoken and well educated you appear to be. I would have commented on that too if you hadn’t jumped on me with both feet for criticizing Esprix. He’s a hit a run poster quite often, check it out. Snide as hell. Although I’d be willing to bet now that you define his little witicisms as acerbic or sardonic. (Means the same damn thing but sounds better doesn’t it? Comparing the little twit to Oscar Wilde! Please!) Holds others up to standards he has no intention of adhering too. Are you going to actually sit there and try to honestly say he isn’t a “one trick pony”. That is what this thread was originally about isn’t it? Ridicule is not a part of your agenda I can see that. I’m also glad you’re happy and don’t dwell on the terrible things others might say or think about you. Good for you. But I still maintain that he has gotten away with bringing up his little cause as often as he pleases because he has enough old guard defenders here. This thread is evidence of that.

Now I am getting pissy.

Needs2know

98

N2K,

Take action. Move out of the town you hate so much. Become active in your community so as to improve your condition. You’ve got options.

Gays and others who are slighted as groups by society can also take action to improve their conditions. For instance, a gay man can speak out and increase awareness of his plight to promote tolerance and understanding. Surely you would not argue against this.

99

Is that so, Needs? I didn’t notice. :rolleyes:

You know, for someone who doesn’t-care as much as you don’t about Esprix (that clause could have been better constructed), you sure seem to be posting a lot in this thread. If you don’t give a fuck about him, why do you continue to sit here and give fucks about him?

It really sounds like you have a lot of issues towards the world to work out.

100

My, somebody’s cranky pants are a little tight today, aren’t they?

You must just love David B then (oh, but he’s a long-time poster and a mod, so I’m sure you hate him, too). And what, pray tell, is wrong with hit and run posting? If my opinion on a thread topic takes only one post, and I see nothing to follow up on, then, oh gee, I guess I’m a hit and run poster. :rolleyes:

“Little twit?” Let me ask, are you and Wildest Bill in the same class, or do you just schedule playdates?

If you’re going to call me black, friend pot, let’s look at something: you seem still galled lo these many months after my raising a question to pepperlandgirl about something she’d previously posted. Now you’re taking all of my previous posts, encapsulating them as “snide,” and slamming me for them. Yeah, not too much of a hypocrite, are we? And since you seem so upset that people are getting on your case about your posting style, why are you getting all over me for mine?

“His little cause?” Yeah, very inclusive of you - I’m sure all my fellow lesbigay posters think our “little cause” is quaint. And, hmmm, let’s see - my threads keep getting posted to, I get no more or less flames than anyone else on this board, I’ve yet to be banned, and you’re the first person to ever tell me they outright hate me. Did it ever occur to you that you might be wrong about me, instead of everyone else? I don’t need any “old guard” to defend me (although I appreciate any support anyone offers me).

Getting?

I will never understand your vitriol, as despite our difference of opinion so many months ago I’ve never disregarded your posts out of hand nor despised you nor actively gone out of my way to insult you - you’re just another poster, someone to discuss and debate with. After this, though, I shan’t forget your bile and derision. I’m sorry you have all this hatred directed at me which seems, in my opinion, completely unwarranted. It just seems to me you have some huge chip on your shoulder that you think I tried to knock off. How sad is that?

Esprix