“Television! Teacher, mother…seeeeeecret loverrrrrrr…”
“Grover Cleveland spanked me on two non-consecutive occasions!”
Marge (exasperated): “Homer, I asked you if you bought that dummy to fake your own death and you said ‘no’!”
[hijack]
Is it just me and Ginger, or does anyone else use the words “Embiggens” and “Cromulent” IRL. I have done it many times, even amongst strangers. What’s really cool is when they pick up on it and come back with a Simpsons line of their own. I have to be honest, I think these words are threatening to become part of regular English.
[/hijack]
I use cromulent when I can. Not embiggens, which just sounds dumb (that was the joke).
–Cliffy
Weiddave, how do you use the word “cromulent” in real life? I mean, “embiggens”, while not a grammatically correct word form, at least can be said to have some meaning outside the Simpsons episode, but what does “cromulent” mean, outside of that?
Chaim Mattis Keller
Gentlemen, to Evil.
Marge: The Lord only asks for one hour a week Homer…
Homer: Well, maybe He should have made the week one hour longer then.
Mr. Burns: “You’re not as objectionable as you seemed when we first met”
Homer: “No sir! I’m not.”
As an architect, I’ve always enjoyed this one.
The setup - the Flanders are inspecting their new house that has been built by Homer and other volunteers. Todd (or is it Rod) sees a “Krusty the Klown” poster, and starts to take it down.
Bart: I wouldn’t do that. That’s a load-bearing poster.
Hee…love these. Here’s one hubby and I use in real life:
(During the episode where Red the trucker dies of meat poising and Homer & Bart elect to deliver the goods in Red’s place, Bart & Homer have the following exchange…)
Homer: Don’t you have school?
Bart: Don’t you have work?
Homer: Touche.
Every time hubby or I makes an irrefutable point, the other always says, “Touche.” in our best Homer voice, with the little hand gesture he does.
BTW, cmkeller I use “cromulent” in real life too, but I use it in situations where I KNOW the other person has no clue what it is. Then I’ll say something like, “Well, that’s not very cromulent.” and then walk away. No idea how the other people take it but it cracks me the heck up.
Todd and Rod jumping on the trampoline: Every jump brings us closer to Jesus!
Cecil (though admittedly this isn’t nearly so funny w/o the uppercrust Brit accent): You know Uncle Earl ain’t been quite right lately.
I haven’t thought to, but I do use “carhole” for garage just to annoy my husband.
And in response to the thread title (although so many of my favorites have already been posted):
“The secret ingredient is blood!”
(I think when Sherri Bobbins serves them blood pudding. It’s the voice Bart uses that cracks me up. He uses the same voice when Marge says that there’s something unwholesome about a boy flying a kite at night and Bart looks up to the window from outside and says “hello mother, dear…”)
My sister and I have appropriated it (facetiously, of course) to mean “of or pertaining to Oliver Cromwell.” 
‘Mmmmm…sac-rel-icious’ - Homer eating the waffle he’s just prised from the ceiling.
Sad Garage Robot: (to Homer) Father! Give me legs!
Only at the SDMB.
Love it.
Gorbachev, on seeing George H.W. Bush apologize to Homer: “Nooo, znayet moj nachalnik this!”
I finally learned the translation of this, too.
I also loved this television spot, from the same episode:
Announcer 1: Live, from the famous brown sands of Public Beach,
Delaware, it’s the Grand Nationals of Sand Castle Building…preview!
Homer: [whining] Ohh, Saturday afternoon TV is so boring.
Announcer 2: Bikini girls…
Homer: [brightening at picture] Huh?
Announcer 2: Dune buggies…
Homer: [brighter] Hmm!
Announcer 2: Daredevil surfers…
Homer: [gasps]
Announcer 2: Ordinarily, this beach would be swarming with 'em. But not today, ho ho, no. They’ve all been cleared out to make way for painstaking sand preparation.
Announcer 1: That’s right, Dick. You know, this year, everyone’s abuzz about one thing: the absence of Mark Rodkin.
Announcer 2: [looking to his left] Oh, wait. There he is.
I loved it. It was such a perfect parody of Saturday afternoon sports nonsense.
Marge: Honey, you should listen to your heart, and not the voices in your head like a certain uncle did one grey December morn.
Homer: See that ship over there? [points to a ship with a large satellite dish on it] They’re re-broadcasting Major League Baseball with implied oral consent, not express written consent – or so the legend goes.
Very clever, trying to distract us with that sand-castle building bit. What is the translation? Inquiring minds and all that.