Just as the Founding Fathers were thinking of when they wrote the Constipation-thingy that, like, got us indepenent from Canada. 
Is Wayne Brady gonna have to choke a bitch?
Given that many talking heads are acknowledging that Paris’ sentence was more or less equivalent to what most people serve in jail for a similar offense, I don’t have much rage about this. In fact, what say we forget about Paris for a few days, and move on to more important things? Like the rust spot on my driveway, for instance.
There was a special recently on Neilsen/Museum of TV/Radio’s 30 Funniest TV Moments, and Brady explained he got a call from Chapelle to do the show the day after that Negrodamus joke aired. The result is pretty darn funny, I must say.
“My mother-in-law’s not gonna believe this!”
“Too bad she’ll never hear about it!” (breaks neck)
Oh, where were we? Paris Hilton, right. I dunno. She’s…a person (at least I assume she is.)
The Liberation of Paris! 
[::d&r::]
Oddly enough, that was my first reaction to seeing Versailles.
Does anyone know what bologna is? 
::Roseanne Voice::Good one.::Roseanne Voice::
She rolled doubles. There was nothing they could do.
I’ve not been a huge consumer of Paris Hilton-related media outpourings until this recent hoo-hah.
Is it me, or is she really ugly? I thought she was supposed to be glamorous?
DustyButt, you did say “minorities” sit in jail, and that Paris was “white”. If you meant that money is what makes the difference, why did you feel it necessary to add those words?
As Jonnie Cockrane [sic] said, the color of justice is not black or white, it’s green. OJ got acquitted and Paris got out in three days because they have money, simple as that. If OJ had been white and rich, he’d still have gotten off. If Paris had been black and rich, she’d still have gotten out in three days.
I don’t think she’s ugly, but I don’t think she’s anything special either.
What mystifies me is the discrepancy between Paris, Nicole, Britney, Lindsay Lohan, Hilary Duff, and all the other starlets, and the teen girls who (presumably) emulate them. At least in my communtity, I see teens and tweeners all the time who dress and hair/makeup in the same basic style. Except they’re clean, their hair is smooth, their clothes fit, and the reason they fit is that they’re not dangerously skinny, their makeup is flawless as far as I can see, and so forth. Meanwhile, the group that I’ve come to think of as the Pussy Posse looks like they’re the ones whose clothing allowance comes from Taco Bell wages plus what they can wheedle from their parents. Why spend thousands of dollars to look like ass?
ETA: Rysto, I finally got that. Hee!
It took me a lot longer to think of it in the first place.
The ironic thing was that people would have totally forgotten she went to jail for probation violation in nothing flat. They will not forget she didn’t do her full jail time- before she was the “fun girl to hate” but now she’ll just be hated if that makes sense. She should have thought this one through because the whole vintage Leona Helmsley “only little people” go to jail thing wrecks her career (such as it was).
Of course she can always getting back by getting put on Death Row during Sweeps Week, or doing an “on the lam” reality show with Scooter Libby, Tom Sizemore and Robert Downey, Jr. (who’s due to do something to get sent back to prison anytime now). They could all have to work odd jobs while chained together and hilarity would ensue, especially once Libby slaps Paris for calling him “Scooby” one too many times.
I personally am happy that Paris was released early. Much as I detest Martha Stewart, I have been forced to admit that I admire her for sucking it up and doing her time without bitching. I was afraid that I might have to give Paris the same credit. Now, luckily, I am free to hate her as much as I please.
She doubled up on the the “psycho” to make up for it.
And, Rysto, that was damned funny.
Was Rysto’s joke a Dungeons & Dragons thing?
It was a Monopoly joke.
Two things I want now:
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Matt Stone and Trey Parker BETTER be working on an episode for this PRONTO!
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A t shirt that has Paris’s face on it, stylized like Che Guevara (with beret, of course).