Pick up lines....

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
41

A long, long time ago, I was at a dance at Butler University in Indianapolis. I was drunker than hell (can’t remember if I had been indulging in anything else) and dancing with a lady who seemed to like me.
I nuzzled a little closer and whispered in her ear: “Why don’t we go someplace where I can lick you all over your body?”
She looked at me and said: “You must be out of your fucking mind!”

42

There’s always the old reliable:

So…tell me…what’s a girl like you doing in a nice place like this?

JB
Lex Non Favet Delictorum Votis

43

“Where did you learn to speak English so well?” (Strangely enough, I’ve gotten that one both in Russian AND in English)

“Do you know where we can get some pot?”

“How do you say that in Finnish?” (In St. Petersburg, where anyone with fair hair and alcohol on their breath can be safely assumed to be Finnish)

I was born in Iowa, by the way.

44

“…I just work in outer space.”

45

“Are all them trucks headed to the rodeo?”
…oh, oh…wait, I see…THAT kind of pickup line…

“What would a guy like me from a place like this be doing in a nice girl like you?”

46
  1. Your body’s name must be Visa, because it’s everywhere I want to be.
  2. Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?
  3. I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your bed rock.
  4. I may not be the best looking guy here, but I’m the only one talking to you.
  5. Hey Baby, you be my Dairy Queen, I’ll be your Burger King, you treat me right, and I’ll do it your way.
  6. Excuse me, do you have your phone number, I seem to have lost mine.
  7. I can’t find my puppy; can you help me find him? I think he went into this cheap motel room.
  8. I’m new in town, could I have directions to your house.
  9. If you were a new hamburger at McDonald’s, you would be McGorgeous.
  10. You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.
  11. Your legs must be tired because you’ve been running through my mind all night.
  12. Your pants must be mirrors because I can see myself in them.
  13. If you’re feeling run down you can always wind up on my lap.

He said…Have I shown you my magic watch ?
She said…No, what does it do ?
He said…It’s telling me you are not wearing any underwear.
She said…Well your watch is wrong because I am wearing underwear.
He said…It must be an hour fast.