You mean I shaved my legs for nothing?
Despondent,
E
I vote not an asshole. This is not an exclusive relationship with A, not even, at least as it seems from your description, a “boyfriend/girlfriend” one, per se.
You had other plans and chose not to fill her in or invite her along.
That said, she seems to have some expectations you don’t share (often the case in FWB situations)
And yeah, you could have put it a bit less bluntly, but as far as your actions go, you did nothing wrong, imo. (and I’m a she, jftr)
I have some prejudice against those who text message. Did you do it while driving or crossing the street? If yes, then you’re an asshole.
Also you are an asshole because you are bragging about having more than one chick interested in you. LOL
I received it while driving. Replied when I was stopped at a light, received her reply while driving. Before I hot another light she texted me twice more. Then I stopped at a light and replied.
Yeah, how dare people make use of a useful new medium of communication? The nerve!
I’d say the OP was an asshole, but has a chance to not be (so he’s not in the Permanent Asshole mold).
If they’re still sleeping together, have they really broken up? 
The OP is far from the only one to make this claim, and I’ve always wondered what validity a break-up has if the players are still doing the same things as they did before the “break up.”
Anyway, MannyL, I vote A. You’re not an asshole for the event in question so much, but for allowing this strange situation where she treats you like a controlling girlfriend would, and you act like a cheating boyfriend. Don’t get me wrong, she’s an ass too, but the two of you need a cleaner break, and are screwing with each others heads until then. You will both end up frustrated and half-crazy if you keep on this way.
Why isn’t there a button that lets you reply simply and solely to the thread title.
If you have to ask if you where an asshole, you where probably an asshole. Even if you weren’t truly an asshole.
By the fact that you can look in the mirror and think of yourself as an asshole makes you a much better person than most. You were probably only capable of jerk at best.
True assholes would have seen themselves as “always right and justified”, and never asked the question to begin with.
It happens…officially “broken up”, but sex as usual although less frequently. Sometimes the relationship is bad but the sex is good. You know each other, you know you’re both safe, but it’s going to probably end badly at some point. But you’ve already did the practice breakup.
I say B, with Subsection C, for Chump. Dude, you must really want to rub this girl’s nose in your being the mr. hot stuff, or else you have an atrocious case of spilling your guts, and can’t control it.
Still, though, a B.
I was “A”, in this exact same situation, except that “B” was a close friend of mine, and instead of inviting him to a bar, I stopped by his house, & he wouldn’t let me in. He always let me in before, & was happy to see me. Friend “B” knew just what the situation was. It sucked. Badly. I was humiliated, disappointed, and hurt; even more than that, I was just really sad and I miss his friendship. (he won’t even talk to me now.)
I think he was an asshole; but really only because she was a close friend of mine. Had it been a stranger, I would have been hurt, but not as angry.
She’s an ex-what if you are still sleeping with her?
You weren’t an ass unless you were intending to hurt her or just didn’t care if you hurt her. You need to talk to her and explain. Consider that she may have considered that you weren’t quite an ex.
She obviously still cares for you. That doesn’t sound like the normal fuck-buddy.
Don’t wait about getting this straightened out.
But even if you were an ass, everyone is sometimes. Forgive yourself and try to make up for it.
PRR, I saw your link after I had posted. That is a riot! Denis Leary is hilarious!
Yes, you’re an asshole. All you had to say to A was, “Sorry, I have a date tonight.”
Well apparently she doesn’t think I’m an asshole because although a mutual friend said she is not going to be speaking to me any more. I have had no less than 20 text message from A about what I’m doing tonight. She told me about a DWI check point she was stopped at and other pointless things.
My opinion - if you’re lucky, you won’t hear from Anne anymore. That woman ain’t right.
20 messages in one night? Is she 16?
Break things off with A - tell her you’re dating others and would rather keep her as a completely non-sexual friend than worry about hurting her. Then follow through with the completely non-sexual part.
Anything else is leading her on when you know she’s going to get hurt over and over again - and that would make you an asshole.
I concur with maggenpye’s post in its entirety, and a few days ago you also seemed to understand that non-asshole thing to do is clearly define your relationship with Anne to avoid causing her further pain. Have you done it yet, or does your ego need to continue basking in your ex-girlfriend’s low self-esteem? I wonder if you responded to any of her 20 unwanted text messages, or if you just bemoaned the fact that your efforts to drive Anne away with cruelty and indifference aren’t working. It way past time for you to speak up.
If you won’t climb down off the cross and set Anne straight about your lack of regard for her then you are not only an asshole, but an unrepentant one. (And rest assured, she probably knows it but either thinks she doesn’t deserves any better, or that can change you, the poor thing.)
Sorry for the late reply I haven’t had a chance to get on here with my second job. I will be doing this Saturday night AFTER we celebrate the birthday of one of “her” friends. I say her because I never grew close to the woman although she considers me a friend.
I did respond to her text messages in a non-commital way. Today she E-mailed me at work asking if I was going to karaoke on Friday night, I told her I was not going and she wanted to know why. I felt that I didn’t need to give her a reason why I was not going but did not want to phrase it that way. I did tell her that I was planning on being online with some friends playing WOW. I’ve heard from a mutual friend that A does not believe that I will be playing WOW and thinks I will be on a date with B.
I think she feels that she can not do better than me and that’s one reason on Saturday I will have a talk with her. I have been working out in my head what I want to say and how to say it.
Well there you are. The poor girl’s self esteem couldn’t be much worse than that, could it?