Scorch! Pow!
Tried to talk to her last night whsn shje dropped by my other job. First she acted like nothing was wrong but I apologized for what I said Wed night. She responded with yeah she is pissed. I said I knew that. Then she said some people have big mouths. I said no one told me anything but I could tell from the vibe you were giving off. Then she said whatever and refused to talk.
Wow, reading this thread is like being unemployed and having nothing to watch but The Real World all over again.
A. Congratulations, you’re an asshole! In no particular order of importance here are the reasons why:
You’ve been having on again off again sex with this woman for years never entirely breaking it off and justifying it as friends with benefits. You’ve known her for years but you didn’t know this would only feed her insecurity? You kept sleeping with her because you wanted sex, she kept sleeping with you because she thought something would happen and you’d get back together. This ain’t rocket science, son. Don’t justify an easy lay with noble intentions. She gets on your nerves, you can’t stand how clingy she is. These are the reasons you broke up with her in the first place right?
The night in question. You should have either been up front and told A the truth when you returned her text or turned your phone off and ignored her til you were ready to deal with her and you know it. Of course she refused to talk with you. You refused to own what you did. All you apologized for was the snarky text? You insulted her intelligence.
You use her crappy actions to justify your crappy actions. Stop. Own what you did and what you continue to do. You’re trying to have your cake and eat it too. Nothing good ever comes of this.
You’re trying to come off as another nice guy caught in a bad situation. You’re not. Your actions make you culpable. You are an asshole.
Man up. Make a clean break with A and have done with it. You’re only drawing out the inevitable and making it a much worse situation when it does finally go down. You already know all of this. If you didn’t you sure as hell wouldn’t be asking a bunch of anonymous strangers for vindication.
This.
And you two keep doing your dance - that sounds just like a conversation a boyfriend and girlfriend would have (complete with her passive-aggressiveness). There is no talk you need to have with her; you don’t need to discuss anything; you just need to tell her once and for all (nicely, mind you) that you are not dating, and being friends hasn’t worked out, so you won’t be seeing her anymore. Or texting her. Or talking on the phone. Especially no booty calls.
Of course she’s being passive aggressive. She pretended nothing’s wrong because he won’t break it off completely as long as she acts as though it’s all good. Just like she won’t go all psycho on his ass so long as he still treats her like his de facto girlfriend. This is learned behavior and it isn’t healthy on either of their parts but it will keep continuing because neither of them has the spine to do what needs to be done.
It’s hard to break something off when you’re still getting (presumably good) sex.